I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

[Gepeto]

https://giphy.com/gifs/comedian-rich...-4vZx1mAtMoiFG

[FLS]

Is somebody's wife reading this thread? Has a safe word been established?

[skiballs]

‘. I wasn’t trying to trash my wonderful wife or make myself look cool. s.

You didn't......
If a slightly unsterilized cup makes you puke, what happens when you eat her taco?

[Self Jupiter]

^it happened when I found out what had happened. Dramatic? Def. I thought it was amusing though.

somebody helping me out with a cart would make me more benevolent

Assuming you mean one of these?

[AK47bp]

^it happened when I found out what had happened. Dramatic? Def. I thought it was amusing though.


Assuming you mean one of these?

Actually quite impressively dramatic. That is a skill. Have you tried acting?

The ability to puke by just thinking of something blows my mind.


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[Diamond Joe]

Somehow my wife just locked her keys in her car....both of them.

Come on man. You let your wife have the "spare" key?? Spare key is defined as "any key your wife does not have access to so that it will actually be where its supposed to be in case it is needed"

[KQ]

Anyone second that motion?

Oh come on now guys.... it's all in fun! If we can't laugh at our foibles what there to live for? I'll give you a second.

[KQ]

somebody helping me out with a cart would make me more benevolent

Son, it sounds like you've got a monkey on your back. Don't you know those things will kill you, literally?

[idahospud]

I wasn’t trying to. This is something that happened a few days ago that I find amusing/ kinda funny that I now regret having shared on this thread. Wasn’t trying to imply I’m mad about it, more just that it happened, world keeps spinnin. I obviously didn’t write it to any amusing or funny effect, considering the responsesx ‘. I wasn’t trying to trash my wonderful wife or make myself look cool. For the record, I think my wife is awesome and I think our relationship is pretty great. Maybe I never read up on this thread and I don’t understand be context? Can I use my mulligan? I did take laps.

I think the thing is that you came across as a bit, uh, delicate. What's TGR good for if not a good ribbing?

Is your name Mike, by any chance?

[KQ]

I think the thing is that you came across as a bit, uh, delicate. What's TGR good for if not a good ribbing?

Is your name Mike, by any chance?

Wouldn't the hot coffee have killed anything that was lurking in the cup anyway?

[Gepeto]

Oh come on now guys.... it's all in fun! If we can't laugh at our foibles what there to live for? I'll give you a second.

https://giphy.com/gifs/comedian-rich...r-sIGM1jNY0z2o

[KQ]

https://giphy.com/gifs/comedian-rich...r-sIGM1jNY0z2o

dude




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[Norseman]

gas giant duder gets a pass from me based on ski skillz meritz despite odd dish drama

[ACH]

gas giant duder gets a pass from me based on ski skillz meritz despite odd dish drama

Haha, quoted for truth.

[RShea]

Somehow my wife just locked her keys in her car....both of them.

I woulda thought the key rack just inside the front door of the coupled with a constant reminder of “can you put one of the keys on the key rack just inside the front door” would have been sufficient. 🤷♂️

Maybe I secretly need to make a third key and hide it in my dresser?



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I did a 3rd key (went with the cheap non-transponder enabled key that has to be programmed for the car to start up) when I got another car this summer. Came with only 1, so needed a second anyway that can be stored at home. 3rd key is in the wallet and will only open the car door (not even a trunk lock anymore included)...

[Benny Profane]

[Flyoverland Captive]

My wife left for work; ten minutes later she's back. "I crashed my car; I need to use yours." So I go look at her car; the front end is all fucked up, fluids spilling on the ground, deep scratches all along the side.

"I spilled my coffee; the next thing I know I'm smashing into the neighbor's fence post. Ok, see you tonight!"

Me: "Hold on; have you called insurance? Made an appointment with the body shop for an estimate and to get a loaner? Told the neighbor what happened?"

Her: Blank stare...

[Skidog]

My wife left for work; ten minutes later she's back. "I crashed my car; I need to use yours." So I go look at her car; the front end is all fucked up, fluids spilling on the ground, deep scratches all along the side.

"I spilled my coffee; the next thing I know I'm smashing into the neighbor's fence post. Ok, see you tonight!"

Me: "Hold on; have you called insurance? Made an appointment with the body shop for an estimate and to get a loaner? Told the neighbor what happened?"

Her: Blank stare...

duh this is obviously your job....

BTW I believe that is called leaving the scene of an accident.

[m2711c]

She’s lucky Gomer didn’t see her lawless behavior.....

[Supermoon]

My wife left for work; ten minutes later she's back. "I crashed my car; I need to use yours." So I go look at her car; the front end is all fucked up, fluids spilling on the ground, deep scratches all along the side.

"I spilled my coffee; the next thing I know I'm smashing into the neighbor's fence post. Ok, see you tonight!"

Me: "Hold on; have you called insurance? Made an appointment with the body shop for an estimate and to get a loaner? Told the neighbor what happened?"

Her: Blank stare...

In all honesty, you should make sure she is ok and doesn't have any sort of brain injury from the accident. If she hit something that hard, she could definitely be showing some symptoms here.

[KQ]

My wife left for work; ten minutes later she's back. "I crashed my car; I need to use yours." So I go look at her car; the front end is all fucked up, fluids spilling on the ground, deep scratches all along the side.

"I spilled my coffee; the next thing I know I'm smashing into the neighbor's fence post. Ok, see you tonight!"

Me: "Hold on; have you called insurance? Made an appointment with the body shop for an estimate and to get a loaner? Told the neighbor what happened?"

Her: Blank stare...

Not to single out your lovely wife but.... I can't believe the things we are allowed to do while operating heavy machinery. Smoking is one thing in particular that has always amazed me. You're driving with a burning stick in your hand/mouth, how can that be safe? It's not just your life in the balance, your choices impacts everyone else on the road.

[Thaleia]

BTW I believe that is called leaving the scene of an accident.

and F C is an accomplice now. (I'm assuming there's more nuance to the story and it's not quite the hit and run it sounds like)

[Skidog]

and F C is an accomplice now. (I'm assuming there's more nuance to the story and it's not quite the hit and run it sounds like)

yeah but im pretty sure that even if you hit a simple deer you're supposed to call the coppers...I wouldnt call it "hit and run" but technically she left the scene.

[Thaleia]

yeah but im pretty sure that even if you hit a simple deer you're supposed to call the coppers...I wouldnt call it "hit and run" but technically she left the scene.

When my fence got smoked by a driver that fled he got a hit and run charge. (This is in Canada though, and he fled on foot, so agreed not the exact same scenario)

[Skidog]

When my fence got smoked by a driver that fled he got a hit and run charge. (This is in Canada though, and he fled on foot, so agreed not the exact same scenario)

interdasting