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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

    I was inspired by this post in iceman's goggle thread:
    Fuck fucking goggles in general. Fucking things fucking suck. Fucking wife always complaining she put the wrong lens in, and I have to fucking change them because for some fucking reason she seems to be able to put earrings thru tiny fucking holes in her ears, but can't seem to snap a fucking lens in a fucking goggle frame without fucking it all up.

    Just had to get that off my chest this am, sorry.
    I do ALL sports related anything, I feel your pain.

    We have an apartment in Issaquah, (Seattle suburb), now, so my wife takes the Golf R and drives over a big lane barrier thing to the tune of $2500 worth of 2 rims, tires, alignment, etc.

    She gets some mail from the city and opens it up, sees a picture of the Golf and a nice $140 fine, and says "How do they know it's me?" She gets a second letter like that a day later.

    She is great, yada, yada, yada, but WTF?

    What else you guys got?
    Well maybe I'm the faggot America
    I'm not a part of a redneck agenda

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    14,841
    Looks fade. Dumb is forever.

    Girlfriend got a red light cam ticket. $600. She learned her lesson.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    7,530
    Quote Originally Posted by 4matic View Post
    Looks fade. Dumb gets progressively worse.
    FIFY.

    Also love my wife. Love the woman I married even more.... As for the woman I started dating way back when? YOWZA!

    And it's got nothing to do with looks... Yoga and green smoothies may seem ridiculous, but that shit'll keep a woman skinny.

    Doesn't keep the smart in though...

    Sometimes my wife seems like she's on some kind of mission to see how dumb she can be before the world bites back. We had a dishwasher once upon a time that was ok, but not great. The wife would routinely over load the thing and complain that the DW didn't work... So one day, the DW gave up the ghost and I bought another one. This time, I got a real nice stainless steel tub model with all sorts of extra sprayers and a heavy duty cycle that runs for e goddamn hours. Dishes come out SPOTLESS. So what does my wife do? She gets progressively more careless about how she loads the thing until one day, she happens to complain that the DW didn't do a good job, so I come over to look and she's got cooking spoons stacked together in the top rack like you'd store them in a drawer... WTF? Who in their right mind would think a dishwasher can fix that? And this is a woman with a goddamned masters degree! There must be something fundamentally detrimental about feeling like you have a dedicated person to complain to who's on the hook to fix whatever you can break...

    This morning was a classic... we have a 1 year old puppy. The dog is a fucking sweetheart. My wife gets up at 515 or so and starts doing whatever... the dog is whining to get out of the crate. After 45 minutes or so, my wife lets the dog out of the crate, but doesn't let her out to pee. 20 minutes later, the dog pees on the floor, and my wife gets PO'd at the dog! She goes on yhis little rant about how the dog is out of control, can't be trained, etc. So I asked her (my wife, that is) if she'd gone to the bathroom yet... she said she had. I suggested that possibly after sleeping all night, the dog might have to go too, and perhaps she should just open the door and let the dog out. It was a quiet morning after that. I seem to recall a time when getting the silent treatment from my woman bothered me... now, it's the goal of half my conversations!
    Last edited by stfu&gbtw; 02-03-2015 at 03:05 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hugh Conway View Post
    Hugh Conway sucks
    Quote Originally Posted by Meadow Skipper View Post
    I guess stfu might be right about steel toed boots
    Quote Originally Posted by pedoherp69 View Post
    I know actual transpeople.
    Quote Originally Posted by rokjoxx View Post
    We is got a good military, maybe cause some kids get to shooting sports early here.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    3,755
    Wife comes in to the lodge bitchin and moanin that some douche bag just creased the length of our car with his ball hitch. I'm like WTF?... where is he, what'd he say. Find out that it was parked (and empty). She basically hit a parked truck and was trying to blame it on the fucking PARKED truck.

    I've also been to blame for not packing her boots to the mountain. She has 3 pairs now.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
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    3,755
    Quote Originally Posted by 4matic View Post
    Girlfriend got a red light cam ticket. $600. She learned her lesson.
    $600.00 ???

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
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    Access to Granlibakken
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    7,130
    This thread could get ugly. Carry on.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    PRB
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4matic View Post
    Girlfriend got a red light cam ticket. $600. She learned her lesson.
    in Colorado, if you don't pay they have to personally serve you within 90 days of the violation or it disappears.
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    I smell poutine!!!
    Posts
    8,287
    And I bet none of the whiners in this thread have ever done a stupid thing in their lives. Right. Carry on.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Central OR
    Posts
    4,928
    Do women have difficulty seeing the color yellow? I ask because every time I start my wife's car, I'm greeted with a vast array of yellow warning lights: engine maintenance required, low tire somewhere, fluid low, etc.

    WTF? How can she possibly not notice this?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    14,841
    Quote Originally Posted by TomCrac View Post
    $600.00 ???
    Red light violation in California $490 plus ct fees

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    SFCA
    Posts
    1,223
    Quote Originally Posted by 4matic View Post
    Red light violation in California $490 plus ct fees
    Don't tell me you PAID???
    "Yo!! Brentley! Ya wanna get faded before work?"

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    The Cone of Uncertainty
    Posts
    46,997
    It's not the dumb shit that gets me, I do plenty of dumb shit myself. it's the fucking batshit crazy that I have a problem with.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    seatown
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    3,219
    Quote Originally Posted by frorider View Post
    This thread could get ugly. Carry on.
    let it all out boys

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    2 hours from anything
    Posts
    7,977
    Girlfriend once said "squirrels live in trees?!?"

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    SF & the Ho
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    5,642
    Quote Originally Posted by stfu&gbtw View Post
    getting the silent treatment from my woman bothered me... now, it's the goal of half my conversations!
    I just got a new life plan. Thanks!

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Bellevue
    Posts
    5,076
    Quote Originally Posted by shroom View Post
    let it all out boys
    Hercules is the middle name!?!?
    My life is a lie.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    29,925
    Quote Originally Posted by plugboots View Post
    I was inspired by this post in iceman's goggle thread:
    I do ALL sports related anything, I feel your pain.

    We have an apartment in Issaquah, (Seattle suburb), now, so my wife takes the Golf R and drives over a big lane barrier thing to the tune of $2500 worth of 2 rims, tires, alignment, etc.
    Why was she wearing goggles while driving a golf?
    Quote Originally Posted by Downbound Train View Post
    And there will come a day when our ancestors look back...........

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Tejas
    Posts
    5,690
    I'd share some stories, but my wife's got plenty on me too, so I'll just keep my mouth shut for now.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    4,879

    I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

    Never turns on stovetop exhaust when cooking, never.

    Picks up random stranger that asks her for a ride to the store, he was "foreign and lost" apparently.

    Can't load fucking dishwasher proper at all.

    Gives money to pan handlers even after I lecture not to.

    Drives with one hand in the 6 o'clock position on the steering wheel, underhand. Basically no control if something happened.

    Uses the electric garage door as her daily in and out of the house instead of the front door.

    Don't get me started on pillows..,whoa baby do we have pillows!!!

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    here and there
    Posts
    14,856
    Its funny how people who do that silent treatment crap think its punishment.
    watch out for snakes

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Seattle
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    Quote Originally Posted by AK47bp View Post
    Picks up random stranger that asks her for a ride to the store, he was "foreign and lost" apparently.
    Please thank her again.
    Quote Originally Posted by Downbound Train View Post
    And there will come a day when our ancestors look back...........

  22. #22
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    PNW
    Posts
    412
    Quote Originally Posted by scottyb View Post
    Its funny how people who do that silent treatment crap think its punishment.
    68 year old StepMother: We need to meet to talk about the business you've bought from your Dad but he can't know I'm talking to you;
    Me: (replying to her and my Dad): I'm glad to meet with both of you anytime;
    StepMother: I can't believe you told your Dad I contacted you. I won't make that mistake again;
    Me: Promise?

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Missoula, MT
    Posts
    19,979
    OP's wife drives like my soon to be 70 year old Dad.
    No longer stuck.

    Quote Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn View Post
    Just an uneducated guess.

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
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    4,879
    Quote Originally Posted by PNWbrit View Post
    Please thank her again.
    The old harmless foreigner guise...... works every time.

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Bottom feeding
    Posts
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    Shit! I had to run out, and forgot to post the punchline to my story. She's at her desk, and is writing out the assorted checks to mail, (including the picture speeding ones), and says: "This is another one of those hidden costs of living in the city."
    Well maybe I'm the faggot America
    I'm not a part of a redneck agenda

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