I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

[paulster2626]

My wife sends me a screenshot of her Spotify Playlist that I'm supposed to recreate myself because "I don't know how to share it and besides, I don't know your user ID."

If her profile is public, of you are at least friends, you should just be able to find it yourself. No sharing required. Also there's a share button that brings up a spotify qr code thingy - easiest way IMO.

But, this involves your wife doing something mildly technical, so forget I said anything, sorry.

[paulster2626]

My wife likes to complain about random things, but then never do anything about them. Latest instance, we have a can opener that is kind of finicky (who's isn't?). I don't have a problem with it, but as she's struggling with a can of beans tells me "I hate this can opener, I want to throw this out and get a new one." So I say "okay, so replace it and toss it - you don't need my permission for these sorts of things eh!"

Now I realize this instead means:
"If you don't go out and find a can opener that I like (read my mind you asshole) by the next time I need to open a can of something, I will find some way to make your life mildly miserable, like spontaneously deciding to vaccuum the carpet between your head and the TV the next time you are watching a sporting event."

[~mikey b]

so now the best thing to say is “honey, let’s go shopping and find one we like”

[riser4]

so now the best thing to say is “honey, let’s go shopping and find one we like”

That path is not for novices. It's called riding the lightning.

[~mikey b]

I’ve discovered it works.

[plugboots]

but she never said the heater didnt work she just said she was cold

I feel like Barbara Billingsly in “Airplane”: “I speak wife!”
I took Wife 203 in school, but I still get it wrong all the time. Crazy fucking local dialects.

"I hate this can opener,

The only way to fix this situation is if she buys the replacement for the offending object. You can in no way be involved.
Even then, it will be your fault.
This is the way.

[skaredshtles]

<snip> Also there's a share button that brings up a spotify qr code thingy - easiest way IMO.

This is what *I* did eventually (on her phone) 'cause you know...

But, this involves your wife doing something mildly technical, so forget I said anything, sorry.

Amusingly, she's a tech professional.

[riser4]

I’ve discovered it works.

Shopping in person at a store is not a quick or even logical process. There are more enjoyable things to do together with time off the clock.

[skaredshtles]

Shopping in person at a store is not a quick or even logical process. There are more enjoyable things to do together with time off the clock.

This. Fuck if I'll go shopping with the wife. Shit - I don't even like to go shopping with MYSELF.

[~mikey b]

I can tell you that it works

[skaredshtles]

I can tell you that it works *for me.*

Fixed that.

[AK47bp]

My wife likes to complain about random things, but then never do anything about them. Latest instance, we have a can opener that is kind of finicky (who's isn't?). I don't have a problem with it, but as she's struggling with a can of beans tells me "I hate this can opener, I want to throw this out and get a new one." So I say "okay, so replace it and toss it - you don't need my permission for these sorts of things eh!"

Now I realize this instead means:
"If you don't go out and find a can opener that I like (read my mind you asshole) by the next time I need to open a can of something, I will find some way to make your life mildly miserable, like spontaneously deciding to vaccuum the carpet between your head and the TV the next time you are watching a sporting event."

How long you been married?

The correct response to any complaint is “I know babe, I agree, that can opener IS annoying”

Then go about your day.


Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

[riser4]

How long you been married?

The correct response to any complaint is “I know babe, I agree, that can opener IS annoying”

Then go about your day.


Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

Ya, pretty much. And when I finally figure that out I make it worse by saying you could have told me up front you were just venting. Don't be like me

[warthog]

A well placed, "Calm Down" works wonders.

My daughter texted my wife and said "Calm Down". Response text was, "If you ever tell me to calm down again, I will end you."
Yet another example of why texting is dangerous. That shit is written in stone now.

[warthog]

I am going to write a book about the Wife/Husband relationship.
Working title is - Recycle Bin Full- The story of how 2 unbroken down boxes took down an empire.

Or something to that effect. Good god, just toss them in the garage like every other wife.

[old goat]

My wife likes to complain about random things, but then never do anything about them. Latest instance, we have a can opener that is kind of finicky (who's isn't?). I don't have a problem with it, but as she's struggling with a can of beans tells me "I hate this can opener, I want to throw this out and get a new one." So I say "okay, so replace it and toss it - you don't need my permission for these sorts of things eh!"

Now I realize this instead means:
"If you don't go out and find a can opener that I like (read my mind you asshole) by the next time I need to open a can of something, I will find some way to make your life mildly miserable, like spontaneously deciding to vaccuum the carpet between your head and the TV the next time you are watching a sporting event."

My wife got irked with me because I bought a new can opener because the one we've had for 39 years, and she had before that, got dull and didn't work. But since I do 95% of the cooking it didn't matter. BTW Swing-a-way makes a good one. Oxo doesn't.

[Alpinord]

….BTW Swing-a-way makes a good one. Oxo doesn't.

This one is ‘wife approved’ as best ever:



You’re welcome. ;-0

Edit: How to use video

https://youtu.be/bsXv-5vcvJU" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://<a href="https://youtu.be/bsX...sXv-5vcvJU</a>

Sent from my iPad using TGR Forums

[~mikey b]

you selling kitchen gadgets now too?

[Alpinord]

you selling kitchen gadgets now too?

Ha! No. Just trying to reduce kitchen strife for my bros.

[californiagrown]

My wife dropped her keys down the stormdrain in the middle of a pissing rainstorm last weekend. When i came to get her i was on the phone with public works to see if they could pull some downstream manhole lids for me so i could check and she overheard me bullshitting about having designed that storm system a few years back.

It is now my fault that my poorly designed storm system swallowed up the keys to her car/office/mailbox/whatever else. Should have seen that coming. damnit.

[plugboots]

My wife dropped her keys down the stormdrain in the middle of a pissing rainstorm last weekend. When i came to get her i was on the phone with public works to see if they could pull some downstream manhole lids for me so i could check and she overheard me bullshitting about having designed that storm system a few years back.

It is now my fault that my poorly designed storm system swallowed up the keys to her car/office/mailbox/whatever else. Should have seen that coming. damnit.

JHC, this made me smile.

[~mikey b]

that brings tears of joy to my heart

[PB]

OMG yes!?! So predictable.

[Meadow Skipper]

A well placed, "Calm Down" works wonders.

My daughter texted my wife and said "Calm Down". Response text was, "If you ever tell me to calm down again, I will end you."
Yet another example of why texting is dangerous. That shit is written in stone now.

Heh. A (woman) friend posted this on FB today.

[old goat]

This one is ‘wife approved’ as best ever:



You’re welcome. ;-0

Edit: How to use video

https://youtu.be/bsXv-5vcvJU" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://<a href="https://youtu.be/bsX...sXv-5vcvJU</a>

Sent from my iPad using TGR Forums

I don't want a can opener that you have to watch a video to use.

And someone needs to tell that woman that we don't them to calm down to get them to calm down.