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  1. #126
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Bend, OR
    Posts
    363
    My wife is 1st gen Italian. Her father owned an Italian bakery/restaurant and she couldn't cook to save her life. It baffles me at times but what can you do? However I'm okay with this, as she happily (yes happily, she likes to clean) keeps our home spotless on a regular/daily basis. This includes bathrooms, makes bed daily, all laundry/linens, floors and some dishes. I'll happily cook and enjoy a clean home.

  2. #127
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    10,870
    And what's with all the talking?......sheesh

  3. #128
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    West Coast of the East Coast
    Posts
    7,727
    My wife thinks anything can go down a disposal. She would chip branches in there if she could.

    Since we met 12 years ago, she has clogged the disposal at least 4 times. Clogged, as in full disassembly required. Bucket required. Scooping shit out of dismantled disposal required. Ropo Vieja was the best one. Took hours to get that shit out of the pipes.

    If I count your standard jam, we are at at least 15 times. Did you know you can use an allen key to unjam a disposal? Look at the bottom of the unit- there is a spot to put an allen key and turn the blades until the key, quarter, ring, bone, paper clip, rock, etc, is cleared from the blades. Marriage has taught me so many things.

    Love you honey.

  4. #129
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    lake level
    Posts
    1,546
    Not the wife, but a compilation from a few girlfriends
    Placing the cap on juice (or other liquid) containers so that when I shake it it splashes everywhere
    Vacuuming with just the hose - no extension. Kneeling on the floor, using a 1.5" diameter hose to vaccum the whole damn house. Just about every damn day. And missing just about every piece of dirt. And then leaving it plugged in, in the middle of the room, with cords and hose spread everywhere
    Using a large jug of laundry detergent (that clearly states on the label that it's good for 60 or 100 or however many loads) and a whole bottle of dish soap every two weeks, and bitching that I don't buy laundry detergent or dish soap. And I still have to rewash most of the dishes I use because she can't get them clean. She also uses entire rolls of paper towel to mop the floor (we have two mops) or do other cleaning, and bitches I don't buy those, either.
    Refusing to have interior lights in car on because she is afraid it will drain the battery. Even though there is clearly a switch that will make them only turn on when the door is open.
    “I really lack the words to compliment myself today.” - Alberto Tomba

  5. #130
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    The Cone of Uncertainty
    Posts
    49,306
    Quote Originally Posted by warthog View Post
    Did you know you can use an allen key to unjam a disposal?
    Um. Yes?

    Thought that was common knowledge. They come with one when you buy them.

  6. #131
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Boise, ID
    Posts
    967
    Quote Originally Posted by splitinbend View Post
    Mine took care of herself long enough before we got married that she is pretty self sufficient and doesn't have the blond moments very often.
    mine used to be that way when she was the girlfriend because I didn't use to care about helping! She is really smart but lazy as hell, and these days can't even google or connect hew phone to hotel's wifi!

    drives me crazy!

  7. #132
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Upstate
    Posts
    9,656
    My wife never comes on TGR, but there's still no way in hell I'm posting anything negative about her. Always knows whats up, and it usually ends up badly for me.

  8. #133
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Access to Granlibakken
    Posts
    11,172
    Quote Originally Posted by huckbucket View Post
    My wife never comes on TGR, but there's still no way in hell I'm posting anything negative about her. Always knows whats up, and it usually ends up badly for me.
    Well yer fucked now.

  9. #134
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    West Coast of the East Coast
    Posts
    7,727
    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    Um. Yes?

    Thought that was common knowledge. They come with one when you buy them.
    I never purchased one new. Always came with the house. After I totally took one apart just to clear a jam, someone told me about it. Totally makes sense, but if the house comes with it, it is something you would never think about. Plus, I have never jammed one. When I hear a crazy metallic ruckus going on in there, I shut it off and get the ruckus maker out. My other half tries to grind the sound away.

    Huckbucket- I hear ya, but this is a regular conversation in our house. I am too Italian to shut my mouth. That whole "yes dear" bullshit has escaped me. She has her list, I have mine. Luckily, they are equally stupid things, so it is a wash.

  10. #135
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    livin the dream
    Posts
    5,761
    "My bike is on top of the car."

    "I know"

    "...Don't park in the garage"

    "Why?"

    "....because my bikes on top of the car."

    "....I know...."

    CRUNCH!
    Best Skier on the Mountain
    Self-Certified
    1992 - 2012
    Squaw Valley, USA

  11. #136
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Upstate
    Posts
    9,656
    Quote Originally Posted by warthog View Post
    Huckbucket- I hear ya, but this is a regular conversation in our house. I am too Italian to shut my mouth. That whole "yes dear" bullshit has escaped me. She has her list, I have mine. Luckily, they are equally stupid things, so it is a wash.
    My wife is Sicilian too. Love her to death, but that shit should be outlawed.

  12. #137
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    3,739
    That bike on car story may be the hardest story yet... condolences.
    Last edited by TomCrac; 02-05-2015 at 05:51 AM.

  13. #138
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    West Coast of the East Coast
    Posts
    7,727
    Quote Originally Posted by huckbucket View Post
    My wife is Sicilian too. Love her to death, but that shit should be outlawed.
    It's not boring. So you got that going for ya.

  14. #139
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    7,390
    Quote Originally Posted by huckbucket View Post
    My wife never comes on TGR, but there's still no way in hell I'm posting anything negative about her. Always knows whats up, and it usually ends up badly for me.
    My wife never logs into TGR either, but fuck it. Everybody needs to vent. What's next? You going to give up beating off? I gave up strange and busting my nut all over a girl's face, but I didn't give up wanting to...
    Quote Originally Posted by Hugh Conway View Post
    Hugh Conway sucks
    Quote Originally Posted by Meadow Skipper View Post
    I guess stfu might be right about steel toed boots
    Quote Originally Posted by pedoherp69 View Post
    I know actual transpeople.
    Quote Originally Posted by rokjoxx View Post
    We is got a good military, maybe cause some kids get to shooting sports early here.

  15. #140
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Not in the PRB
    Posts
    32,689
    Quote Originally Posted by nickwm21 View Post
    "My bike is on top of the car."

    "I know"

    "...Don't park in the garage"

    "Why?"

    "....because my bikes on top of the car."

    "....I know...."

    CRUNCH!
    wow
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin
    "everybody's got their hooks into you, fuck em....forge on motherfuckers, drag all those bitches across the goal line with you." - (not so) ill-advised strategy

  16. #141
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    9,356
    Quote Originally Posted by splitinbend View Post
    My wife is 1st gen Italian. Her father owned an Italian bakery/restaurant and she couldn't cook to save her life. It baffles me at times but what can you do? However I'm okay with this, as she happily (yes happily, she likes to clean) keeps our home spotless on a regular/daily basis. This includes bathrooms, makes bed daily, all laundry/linens, floors and some dishes. I'll happily cook and enjoy a clean home.
    That seems just about ideal. I need to pay a fucking cleaning lady...
    Terje was right.

    "We're all kooks to somebody else." -Shelby Menzel

  17. #142
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    North Vancouver
    Posts
    731
    Quote Originally Posted by Flyoverland Captive View Post
    Do women have difficulty seeing the color yellow? I ask because every time I start my wife's car, I'm greeted with a vast array of yellow warning lights: engine maintenance required, low tire somewhere, fluid low, etc.

    WTF? How can she possibly not notice this?
    We drive a Volkswagon. They actually come stock with these lights on so we don't worry about them. Its easier that way.
    What if "Alternative" energy wasn't so alternative ?

  18. #143
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    1,508
    Quote Originally Posted by nickwm21 View Post
    "My bike is on top of the car."

    "I know"

    "...Don't park in the garage"

    "Why?"

    "....because my bikes on top of the car."

    "....I know...."

    CRUNCH!
    glorious.

    Took a girlfriend to a friend's birthday party, when she asked where my friend lived I said "the boonies". Weeks later while hanging out with that friend, the hometown of the friend came up in conversation. To which my ladyfriend replied "But I thought you lived in the boonies?" looked so great standing at my arm tho

  19. #144
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Central OR
    Posts
    5,961
    Quote Originally Posted by warthog View Post
    Did you know you can use an allen key to unjam a disposal? Look at the bottom of the unit- there is a spot to put an allen key and turn the blades until the key, quarter, ring, bone, paper clip, rock, etc, is cleared from the blades. Marriage has taught me so many things.

    Love you honey.
    I do everything repair-wise in my house; after 20+ years of this, I decided to let her tackle the problem she consistently creates, the clogged disposal. I stepped back and said nothing while she bought a new unit and tried to install it. After hours of frustration, she finally asked for my help. I hooked it up in minutes, then pointed out the Alan wrench trick. Instead of "thanks for your help", I got "why the fuck didn't you tell me that hours ago?"

    You cannot win; thus, alcohol.

  20. #145
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    here and there
    Posts
    18,558
    you guys are reliving my last ten years
    watch out for snakes

  21. #146
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    1,085
    Quote Originally Posted by stfu&gbtw View Post
    My wife never logs into TGR either, but fuck it. Everybody needs to vent. What's next? You going to give up beating off? I gave up strange and busting my nut all over a girl's face, but I didn't give up wanting to...


    no kidding

    guy sounds like he's dead
    "up in the ski resorts, up in hills they move ki's and had skis making drops on snowmobiles"- GZA

  22. #147
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    62
    Quote Originally Posted by warthog View Post
    My wife thinks anything can go down a disposal. She would chip branches in there if she could.
    .
    haha this made me laugh. Sadly, I can relate. And she leaves the damn thing running the entire time she's washing dishes. Drives me nuts.

  23. #148
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Upstate
    Posts
    9,656
    Quote Originally Posted by SKIORFORGETIT View Post
    no kidding

    guy sounds like he's dead
    There was a little bit of artistic license in my post ...

    FWIW, I now just beat off in front of my wife and she records it.

  24. #149
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    West Coast of the East Coast
    Posts
    7,727
    Quote Originally Posted by huckbucket View Post
    There was a little bit of artistic license in my post ...

    FWIW, I now just beat off in front of my wife and she records it.
    #winning

  25. #150
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    The Cone of Uncertainty
    Posts
    49,306
    Quote Originally Posted by jmerrey View Post
    haha this made me laugh. Sadly, I can relate. And she leaves the damn thing running the entire time she's washing dishes. Drives me nuts.
    I read somewhere that the MTBF on disposers is like 3 hours of running time total, i.e. they're only engineered to run 3 hours before crapping out. That's a pretty long time when you run it 10 seconds at a pop, not so long when you run it 10 minutes every time.

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