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  1. #101
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
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    Suckramento
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    19,223
    Quote Originally Posted by gatorboy View Post
    My wife does.


    3) Any ailment in the belly region can be cured by laying face-down and putting your butt in the air (MIL said it too the other day).

    Now that one might work to your advantage
    Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
    Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
    Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.


  2. #102
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    Bottom feeding
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    7,143
    Wow.

    You guys can really pick 'em.
    Sure, brit, you got nothing. No goofy story? Right.
    Well maybe I'm the faggot America
    I'm not a part of a redneck agenda

  3. #103
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    really? You can't guess it?
    Posts
    703

    I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

    Quote Originally Posted by mud View Post
    OCD 4 lyfe.
    I leave that to her, perfect solution to my sloth. I do the toilet to stay in the good books though, which is probably reasonable seeing as I am apparently addicted to projectile shitting.

    Quote Originally Posted by gatorboy View Post
    3) Any ailment in the belly region can be cured by laying face-down and putting your butt in the air (MIL said it too the other day).
    Tag team event?
    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    This is kinda like the goose that laid the golden egg, but shittier.

  4. #104
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    righthere/rightnow
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    2,340
    Quote Originally Posted by PNWbrit View Post
    Wow.

    You guys can really pick 'em.
    We flushed out the single guy.

  5. #105
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    the vails
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    1,911
    Quote Originally Posted by gatorboy View Post
    Actually...she basically won't ask any employees for help from any store. She'll often come home and tell me the store "didn't have _________".....when I know they do.
    I sorta do the same thing. For some reason I don't want to bother someone to help me, but I know when I'm at work I'm not bothered by someone asking for my help. When I finally admit defeat and ask for help, the employee is usually happy to help (shocking!). /thread drift

  6. #106
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    the ham
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    6,291
    Quote Originally Posted by plugboots View Post
    Sure, brit, you got nothing.
    He got something: a green card.

  7. #107
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    29,937
    Quote Originally Posted by mud View Post
    We flushed out the single guy.
    Married 24 years this September. But thanks.

    Quote Originally Posted by pisteoff View Post
    He got something: a green card.
    Actually when we got married it was more to do with her getting (back) her lapsed right to reside in UK that pushed the agenda,

    (Edit: years later I had to get vaccinated for the green card though)
    Last edited by PNWbrit; 02-04-2015 at 12:59 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Downbound Train View Post
    And there will come a day when our ancestors look back...........

  8. #108
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    South Central Spud Land.
    Posts
    2,209
    Quote Originally Posted by jcolingham View Post

    She insists that I should let her drive despite having a suspended license. And no insurance.

    She wants to work 4 days a week in coffee.......
    I am saying run. I don't care how young she looks at 38. The driving while suspended is proof. Let's take 'trouble' and double down on that shit.

    The only people who work "in coffee" are the guys importing that shit from wherever. If you slinging coffee you are not working "in coffee" you are slinging that shit.

    Please don't reproduce with her. It will be problematic.
    Quote Originally Posted by skuba View Post
    you can let it free and be as stupid as possible


    Thread Killer
    I would like to see your point of view but I can't get my head that far up your ass.

  9. #109
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    Sonoma & Truckee
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    11,073
    I look forward to the thread a few weeks from now started by an angry barista whose long-time boyfriend left her because of this place.

  10. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by PNWbrit View Post
    Actually when we got married it was more to do with her getting (back) her lapsed right to reside in UK that pushed the agenda,

    (Edit: years later I had to get vaccinated for the green card though)
    I was joking, but I'm in the same boat. I would love to use my wife's Maastricht Treaty rights to settle in some Euro mountain town, but the earning potential is here.

    And she had to get a chest x-ray

  11. #111
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    PRB
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    21,338
    Quote Originally Posted by carvedog View Post
    Please don't reproduce with her. It will be problematic.
    or reproduce with her and post more stories here.
    "fuck off you asshat gaper shit for brains fucktard wanker." - Jesus Christ
    "She was tossing her bean salad with the vigor of a Drunken Pop princess so I walked out of the corner and said.... "need a hand?"" - Odin

  12. #112
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    Oct 2006
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    Bellevue
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    5,078
    Quote Originally Posted by PNWbrit View Post

    (Edit: years later I had to get vaccinated for the green card though)
    No exemptions?

  13. #113
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Seattle
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    29,937
    Quote Originally Posted by abraham View Post
    No exemptions?
    I don't think so. I didn't enquire. I was asked to provide proof of MMR & TB vaccination at pre-green card issuance medical or just get an MMR & TB vaccination. Second option was by far easier than tracking down ancient medical records from hometown/childhood Dr.

    Anyway I would have had moral objections to having a moral or religious objection to being vaccinated so I didn't to ask.

    Quote Originally Posted by pisteoff View Post
    And she had to get a chest x-ray
    HIV/AIDS test too. I think they recently stopped doing that?

    US Embassy medical had definite tinges of Ellis Island to it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Downbound Train View Post
    And there will come a day when our ancestors look back...........

  14. #114
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Portland
    Posts
    12,415
    Quote Originally Posted by gatorboy View Post
    My wife does.

    3) Any ailment in the belly region can be cured by laying face-down and putting your butt in the air (MIL said it too the other day)
    "Face down, ass up, that's the way we like to fuck"
    -2livecrew
    Damn shame, throwing away a perfectly good white boy like that

  15. #115
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Couloirfornia
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    8,727
    Quote Originally Posted by TahoeJ View Post
    I look forward to the thread a few weeks from now started by an angry barista whose long-time boyfriend left her because of this place.
    Pretty sure rontele started that thread a few years back. I'll search for it.

    My wife's generally pretty tame compared to a lot of this shit.

    We were camping in Tuolumne once and she had a dream and then woke up and asked me if there were squirrel-sized bears in the corners of the tent. Thus were born the "squirrel bear" jokes.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ernest_Hemingway View Post
    I realize there is not much hope for a bullfighting forum. I understand that most of you would prefer to discuss the ingredients of jacket fabrics than the ingredients of a brave man. I know nothing of the former. But the latter is made of courage, and skill, and grace in the presence of the possibility of death. If someone could make a jacket of those three things it would no doubt be the most popular and prized item in all of your closets.

  16. #116
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    9,281
    Quote Originally Posted by PNWbrit View Post
    US Embassy medical had definite tinges of Ellis Island to it.
    Did they make you undergo a delousing?
    "timberridge is terminally vapid" -- a fortune cookie in Yueyang

  17. #117
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    May 2009
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    inpdx
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    Quote Originally Posted by gatorboy View Post
    3) Any ailment in the belly region can be cured by laying face-down and putting your butt in the air (MIL said it too the other day).
    downward facing dog is known to solve gas issues in my house too

    make sure the gas issues have settled prior to sidling up & mounting the wife (or MIL)
    not sexy

  18. #118
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    Mar 2008
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    the ham
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    Quote Originally Posted by PNWbrit View Post
    US Embassy medical had definite tinges of Ellis Island to it.
    Her observation as well.

  19. #119
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Seattle
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    29,937
    Quote Originally Posted by Timberridge View Post
    Did they make you undergo a delousing?
    They just dabbed Frontline on the back of our necks.
    Quote Originally Posted by Downbound Train View Post
    And there will come a day when our ancestors look back...........

  20. #120
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    NorthEast
    Posts
    851
    On the rare occasion that she actually picks up a sponge and does some dishes she always, not sometimes, always leaves at least one thing unwashed, not even like a pan that needs to be scrubbed but like a fork or something.

  21. #121
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Sonoma & Truckee
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    11,073
    Quote Originally Posted by LightRanger View Post
    We were camping in Tuolumne once and she had a dream and then woke up and asked me if there were squirrel-sized bears in the corners of the tent. Thus were born the "squirrel bear" jokes.
    My wife once woke me up in the middle of the night, with great urgency, and said, "There's someone in the house!"

    I jump up, heart racing, ask her what she heard... and she's back asleep. Out cold. What the fuck???!! She had no recollection of it the next morning.

  22. #122
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    I smell poutine!!!
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    8,299
    Quote Originally Posted by acinpdx View Post
    downward facing dog is known to solve gas issues in my house too

    make sure the gas issues have settled prior to sidling up & mounting the wife (or MIL)
    not sexy
    Do you end up having to clean the shart off the wall if you solve gas issues with downward facing dog?

  23. #123
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Carbondale
    Posts
    10,433
    Quote Originally Posted by hitek79 View Post
    I won't get in to any stories of my wife, but let's just say she can compete with most of the stories posted here. My goal is to challenge my 3 year old daughter in every way possible to make sure that she takes the time to think through every situation she's in, and hope the cycle is broken. I've had this discussion with a good friend of mine, and his 15 year old daughter is far better at navigating day to day life than his wife is.
    It may get old with the 'every possible way' but my 2.5 year old and I have a different relationship type than her and mom fo' sho'

    Quote Originally Posted by mud View Post
    There could be some twisted logic to this depending on how many clean knifes there are in the drawer compared to forks or spoons. A lot of times I stir my coffee with a fork or knife since there tends to be more clean forks and knifes in the drawer then spoons. My girl is always asking why I don't use a spoon and I tell her it's to keep an even amount of clean utensils available in the drawer.

    OCD 4 lyfe.
    I was thinking along the lines of the surface area of the butter and back in a toaster oven for better melting.....



    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    Change it like Jesus or more like Damien?
    Damien had a bunch of great sets out here in Colorado last week..


    Quote Originally Posted by Tippster View Post
    Yup. Count me in.

    OMG... the "Nesting Instinct." Any other dads have to clean behind the fridge 3 months before the child was due?

    Our solution: cleaning lady. Worth every penny.

    Also yes - I'm the cook. Whenever I can't make it home in time to prepare dinner she makes a phone call. The only meal she insists on cooking is T-day. I have to be the sous chef (read: dish washer) or she would run out of room in a matter of minutes. I think it's part of the fun for her to use every fucking bowl, appliance, and utensil in the house. Lord help us if she has to stick to 3 knives or less.
    I cook, I help when I can with everything else.....

    The mom/preggers brain is funny... totally different animal. the nesting thing. Oh my... I had fun making sure the crib was up way early..... in the tune of months.
    Quote Originally Posted by booner View Post
    Best bat shit crazy story for me...still makes me mad all these years later



    The first Olympics that Lindsey Jacobellis was in...

    I walk into the room and the Olymics are on. The wife says something about Lindsey Jacobellis and I have no idea who she's talking about. Wife starts getting frustrated because according to her, I'm the one that told her about LJ to begin with

    I try explaining to her that it's not possible since I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHO SHE IS.

    Immediately turns into an argument about how she's always wrong and blah, blah, blah

    The fact that she couldn't even begin to grasp onto the fact that her argument wasn't even possible makes me want to kick kittens.

    The real kicker is, I have a remarkable memory. I remember all the way back to about 2 yrs old, clearly remember pre-school, etc.. My wife doesn't remember anything, AND ADMITS IT. Yet, every time these arguments occur all the sudden she has a perfect memory and I'm suffering from amnesia.

    Shit makes me want to jump in front of a truck. Good news is, the only arguments we have are the result of her complete lack of memory...not about any real issues.
    It's not about who's actually right or wrong....

  24. #124
    Join Date
    May 2009
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    inpdx
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    11,854
    Quote Originally Posted by riser3 View Post
    Do you end up having to clean the shart off the wall if you solve gas issues with downward facing dog?
    not if you're clothed, then it's more of a personal cleanup

  25. #125
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Posts
    2,144
    Quote Originally Posted by Danno View Post
    or reproduce with her and post more stories here.
    This particular breed is a notable sport fuck. Just don't take her home for Thanksgiving. If she has lots of tattoos, this breed really shines in the hotel sex dept.

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