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  1. #51
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
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    North,NorthEast
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    Quote Originally Posted by AK47bp View Post
    Don't get me started on pillows..,whoa baby do we have pillows!!!
    Yes. I just don't get it. We have one couch you can't even sit on because it has about 15 pillows on it.

  2. #52
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Big in Japan
    Posts
    36,697
    They would be really handy to have hot fuck sessions with.

    Wait. You guys were talking about batshit wives. Never mind.

    Let's do some livin'
    After, we die

  3. #53
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
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    none
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    6,359
    Quote Originally Posted by KQ View Post
    <roll eyes>
    My wife's at the HOA meeting, so my sore ass can sit on the couch and apply liberal amounts of beer.
    She's a keeper, but kind of expensive.

  4. #54
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    on the edge
    Posts
    5,867
    We went to buddy's house for superbowl

    His sister's gf tells me I have a tail light out (they pulled in behind me)

    When we're leaving i have the wife post up behind the car to check the lights. I do brakes and turn signals with the lights on and she just stands there...it's fucking freezing out. I let her stand there for a bit while she shrugs and looks confused, then I honk. She stands there some more.

    When she gets in I had a hard time explaining to her that the process was over a while ago...all lights were good it turns out. Getting that out of her was a chore.

    The whole ride home I pondered if it really was a good idea to give women the right to drive....Jeesas F
    If it's green, smoke it...if it's pink, poke it

    BUY THESE------> 193 iM 103 - $50 https://www.tetongravity.com/forums/s...d.php?t=179797

  5. #55
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    on the edge
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    5,867
    Quote Originally Posted by neufox47 View Post
    Girlfriend once said "squirrels live in trees?!?"
    this fucking wins it



    I just remembered a recent one that made me want to slam my dick in the door...

    We adopted (RESCUED GDAMMIT!!!!!) a puppy recently and a lot of the others on the website were from LA, while ours was from TN. It was a real battle convincing her that the others were from Louisiana and not Los Angeles
    If it's green, smoke it...if it's pink, poke it

    BUY THESE------> 193 iM 103 - $50 https://www.tetongravity.com/forums/s...d.php?t=179797

  6. #56
    doughboyshredder Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by flowing alpy View Post
    i got the exact opposite problem.
    You and me both, brother.

    My wife could fill pages about the stupid crap I do.

  7. #57
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    12,063
    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    It's not the dumb shit that gets me, I do plenty of dumb shit myself. it's the fucking batshit crazy that I have a problem with.
    Right??? My wife was raised by the most bat shit crazy woman I have ever met. Every now and then when the crazies are really getting out of control I tell her "Cool it Margaret" (mom's name). That really pisses her off. I spend my days trying to make shit simple for her as she is always bitching about "this doesn't work or that doesn't work". I am her own personal tech support. Lucky I adore her or I would tell her to fuck off in a heart beat.
    Quote Originally Posted by leroy jenkins View Post
    I think you'd have an easier time understanding people if you remembered that 80% of them are fucking morons.
    That is why I like dogs, more than most people.

  8. #58
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Wenatchee
    Posts
    7,623
    Quote Originally Posted by hitek79 View Post
    I won't get in to any stories of my wife, but let's just say she can compete with most of the stories posted here. My goal is to challenge my 3 year old daughter in every way possible to make sure that she takes the time to think through every situation she's in, and hope the cycle is broken. I've had this discussion with a good friend of mine, and his 15 year old daughter is far better at navigating day to day life than his wife is.
    My 16 yo daughter is smart as a whip, she drives well, skis well, knows how to figure out all kinds of problems. She can get in and out of Dynafits faster than just about anyone I've seen. About every four weeks or so it seems she just loses all that.

  9. #59
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Retardbumville
    Posts
    592
    "waiting for the end of time ......"

  10. #60
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    7,510
    Quote Originally Posted by Bronco View Post
    68 year old StepMother: We need to meet to talk about the business you've bought from your Dad but he can't know I'm talking to you;
    Me: (replying to her and my Dad): I'm glad to meet with both of you anytime;
    StepMother: I can't believe you told your Dad I contacted you. I won't make that mistake again;
    Me: Promise?
    Lol... I got several emails from my most recent step mother not too long ago telling me that she knew my dad's computer had a problem because he'd been looking at porn on the internet. I went through all the other possibilities and things we could do to fix it, and she kept responding, adding at the end of each email that she was pretty sure he looked at porn on the internet, wanted to know if I thought that could be the cause of the problem, and not to tell him she told me that. I finally wrote her back and said that if looking at porn broke your computer, there wouldn't be a functional computer left on the planet.

    Computer problem must have fixed itself, 'cause that's the last I heard about it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hugh Conway View Post
    Hugh Conway sucks
    Quote Originally Posted by Meadow Skipper View Post
    I guess stfu might be right about steel toed boots
    Quote Originally Posted by pedoherp69 View Post
    I know actual transpeople.
    Quote Originally Posted by rokjoxx View Post
    We is got a good military, maybe cause some kids get to shooting sports early here.

  11. #61
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Alpental
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    3,471
    Quote Originally Posted by Shredhead View Post
    My wife's at the HOA meeting, so my sore ass can sit on the couch and apply liberal amounts of beer.
    She's a keeper, but kind of expensive.
    Angry wives can unfuck HOA stuff pretty quickly sometimes
    I have a responsibility to not be intimidated and bullied by low life losers who abuse what little power is granted to them as ski patrollers.

  12. #62
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    2 hours from anything
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    8,018
    Quote Originally Posted by t-the-east View Post
    Yes. I just don't get it. We have one couch you can't even sit on because it has about 15 pillows on it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Benny Profane View Post
    They would be really handy to have hot fuck sessions with.
    So that's what a hot fuck session is to someone who grew up way before the internet huh? Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, et al. have never stood taller.

  13. #63
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    northern BC
    Posts
    18,397
    wow you guys lead such rich lives

    I'm just living here in the man-cave with a bunch of gear and a life size cardboard cutout of Austin Powers but I'd give it all up for a good woman
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  14. #64
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    The Cone of Uncertainty
    Posts
    47,340

  15. #65
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    really? You can't guess it?
    Posts
    703
    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    This is kinda like the goose that laid the golden egg, but shittier.

  16. #66
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
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    The Cone of Uncertainty
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    ^^^that one gets funnier the longer you watch

  17. #67
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    northern BC
    Posts
    18,397
    Austin has a little motion sensitive box that repeats 6 sayings cuz its pretty old tech but IME having been married many times compared to te rest of you ... I could be getting the more intelligent conversation here?

    Yeah Baby!
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

  18. #68
    spook Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by frorider View Post
    This thread could get ugly. Carry on.

    if only the wives would start their own thread

  19. #69
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Wenatchee
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    Quote Originally Posted by spook View Post
    if only the wives would start their own thread
    No one is stopping you.

  20. #70
    spook Guest
    wow more original hilarity

    my mother-in-law believes my three year old is a prophet from god who will change human history and that it happened because she prayed for it.

  21. #71
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    The Cone of Uncertainty
    Posts
    47,340
    Change it like Jesus or more like Damien?

  22. #72
    spook Guest
    he's jesus. I'm damien

  23. #73
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    The Cone of Uncertainty
    Posts
    47,340
    Must be awkward at the dinner table.

  24. #74
    spook Guest
    what is the argument in favor of a polyamorous relationship again?

  25. #75
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Sonoma & Truckee
    Posts
    11,126
    This thread is hilarious and definitely a little misogynistic, but there's some truth to it as well. I would say my wife is both smarter than me and dumber in a slightly crazy way. The crazy stuff just stands out even more because I know how smart she is and it's like, WTF? Really? Are you serious?

    And anyone who has had a pregnant wife knows that "pregnant brain" is definitely a real thing. I made a comment about that once at a party and some uptight bitch (who had never had kids) went off on me, and my wife came to my defense to say I was right and it's absolutely true. I knew she was a keeper before, but that definitely didn't hurt. ;-)

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