I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

[riser4]

My wife has so many pairs of box cutters. She breaks down the cardboard like a champ.

[present tense]

Found yourself a true unicorn, congrats my friend.

[mcphee]

Hey all, Big Dipshit here! I told my wife while we were dating that one of my favorite parts of working a grocery store gig in HS was to break down boxes and use the baler so I could sneak a hitter and a cig while doing so. She took that as I’m some kind of box expert and loves the work.

[ski-wpk]

I guess we can add “breakdown boxes” to the list of shit wive’s suck at (but we still love them).

Packing a car.

Loading the dishwasher efficiently

Breaking down cardboard

Giving a fuck where their fingernails fly when trimming them in the living room (newly added).




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Ditto. Ditto. Ditto. Ditto.

Add: deciding that kitchen cleanup is done when she’s tired of cleaning (on her nights to clean) then getting offended when I finish the cleanup job.

[dannynoonan]

Hey all, Big Dipshit here! I told my wife while we were dating that one of my favorite parts of working a grocery store gig in HS was to break down boxes and use the baler so I could sneak a hitter and a cig while doing so. She took that as I’m some kind of box expert and loves the work.

The only way out here, is to tell her that you hate that shit, and only said it to get in her pants, because you figured her for the kind of girl who gives it up for guys who have cool grocery-store tales. But that apparently it worked. Godspeed.

[AK47bp]

Hey all, Big Dipshit here! I told my wife while we were dating that one of my favorite parts of working a grocery store gig in HS was to break down boxes and use the baler so I could sneak a hitter and a cig while doing so. She took that as I’m some kind of box expert and loves the work.

Just keep taking care of her box so you aren’t kicked to the curb.


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[skifishbum]

2 1/2 decades ago i stood hungover to the bejeebus wondering if i was ready, worthy and could keep the vows i planned on making that day in front of our friends and fam in a house of worship

well yeah i aint fucked it up yet
jesus hercules christ i am blessed in that decision to share my life passions trials and tribulations and the raising of them goofy newfies
with such a soulmate

[skiJ]

Congratulations, sfb.


skiJ

[Mr. Mike]

Congratulations, sfb.


skiJ

Hell yes-she likes to row!

[Nobody Famous]

Under this headline

State’s longest-married couple celebrates 80 years together.

Is this insight: The husband let everyone in on a little secret to their marriage's longevity: saying "you are right" to his wife all the time.

[Mustonen]

We don’t have air conditioning, but trees keep our house nice and shady and it gets cool here at night, so if you open windows at night and close them in the day and manage your comings and goings the house will stay fairly livable.

I have three dogs who want to follow you in and out and in and out. I ignore this, because they’re just dogs and they don’t need to follow me on a 2 minute errand outside. My fiancé, bless her cute heart, plays doorman for them. So every time she comes and goes she waits for all three to make up their mind to follow her out and then back in.

And she lets all the warm air in!

JHC.

[AK47bp]

9 months of the year my backyard is a mud pit. So I have a super absorbent mat and a towel right next to the back door. Every time pup comes back in I make him stand on the mat and I wipe his paws.

Wifey (who works from home) let’s him in and out all day with ZERO paw cleaning. I just stopped asking her to do it because she won’t. It’s not because she’s deliberately not doing it but she is either on her phone or not paying attention and just robotically opens the door for him when he wants in.

So we have muddy paw prints and muddy carpet and mud on the couch and she’s like “our house is SOO dirty” all the time, and I just bite my tongue.

This is the same woman that went for a bike ride 2 days ago and forgot to attach her bike to the bike rack on the back of her car. So she drove over 10 miles with the bike just sitting on top of the rack without the straps latched. She realized she fucked up with that so didn’t rub it in.


So absent minded sometimes.


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[Buster Highmen]

2 1/2 decades ago i stood hungover to the bejeebus wondering if i was ready, worthy and could keep the vows i planned on making that day in front of our friends and fam in a house of worship

well yeah i aint fucked it up yet
jesus hercules christ i am blessed in that decision to share my life passions trials and tribulations and the raising of them goofy newfies
with such a soulmate

well, she's a keeper fer shure.

[californiagrown]

My wife gathers trash and rotting food and coffee drinks in her car and does not throw any of it away for months at a time. It is seriously like a hoarders starter kit and the smell of rotting curdles lattes in the summertime is gag inducing. No amount of heckling and haranging has made her change her ways.

The catch .22 is that she will only clean it out when her parents come to visit.

[TNKen]

So, my wife has a sheet fetish. She sees high count sheets and they come home. Problem is, she never washes them before she puts them on the bed, so it feels like you have crawled in between two 10'x10' sheets of 2000 grit sand paper.

So came home from a fishing trip late Monday night, crawled into bed and, you guessed it, sandpaper sheets.

On top of that, its hitting mid 80's here in East Tennessee at the moment, and she added a fucking blanket to the mix .

FML.

[skaredshtles]

<snip>
On top of that, its hitting mid 80's here in East Tennessee at the moment, and she added a fucking blanket to the mix .

Just set the thermostat to 60F. That should help.

[frorider]

At least it’s a dry heat

[Danno]

9 months of the year my backyard is a mud pit. So I have a super absorbent mat and a towel right next to the back door. Every time pup comes back in I make him stand on the mat and I wipe his paws.

Wifey (who works from home) let’s him in and out all day with ZERO paw cleaning. I just stopped asking her to do it because she won’t. It’s not because she’s deliberately not doing it but she is either on her phone or not paying attention and just robotically opens the door for him when he wants in.

So we have muddy paw prints and muddy carpet and mud on the couch and she’s like “our house is SOO dirty” all the time, and I just bite my tongue.

This is the same woman that went for a bike ride 2 days ago and forgot to attach her bike to the bike rack on the back of her car. So she drove over 10 miles with the bike just sitting on top of the rack without the straps latched. She realized she fucked up with that so didn’t rub it in.


So absent minded sometimes.


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This won't help with the wife, but it's a pretty cool tool for your problem (I just saw it at a friend's house, it works great): https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N52Z30T/

[old goat]

Wonder if that would work on a Bernese.

[AK47bp]

This won't help with the wife, but it's a pretty cool tool for your problem (I just saw it at a friend's house, it works great): https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N52Z30T/

It’s like a fleshlight for dog paws. May try it out (on the dog)


Thanks.


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[Tor-tour]

[QUOTE=AK47bp;6626390]It’s like a fleshlight for dog paws. May try it out (on the dog)


Thanks.





Number one customer question on Amazon Reviews. "Is this really just for dog paws?"

[John_B]

Despite having multiple travel mugs suitable for bringing coffee to work in my wife uses our nice ceramic mugs. One falls out of her bag and breaks every year or two.

[Supermoon]

Despite having multiple travel mugs suitable for bringing coffee to work in my wife uses our nice ceramic mugs. One falls out of her bag and breaks every year or two.

My wife buys all sorts of travel mugs and water bottles, and exactly zero of them fit into our cup holders. So they are either rolling around in a footwell, or precariously balanced on the center console. I even bought her a bottle that holds as much as a Nalgene and fits on a cup holder but she still won’t use it.

At least they all have lids now. So that’s a small win.

[old goat]

Despite having multiple travel mugs suitable for bringing coffee to work in my wife uses our nice ceramic mugs. One falls out of her bag and breaks every year or two.

Don't you donate to PBS or NPR every year? Easy way to replace those mugs.

[John_B]

Don't you donate to PBS or NPR every year? Easy way to replace those mugs.

These are a locally made matching set that were wedding gifts. I guess I should be thankful I wasn't the one to knock the handles off of 2 of them.