I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

[Marshall Tucker]

women who are well into their 50s

the decline was swift and severe, but there was a glorious year or two.

I mean, truly glorious.

[XXX-er]

Ms TBS sez everyone would be well-served if I began every conversation with “I’m sorry”

I would say " I'm white , I'm male, I'm sorry ?" and she would say "no yer not"

but 2 out of 3 ain't bad

IME women in their 50's are undergoing menopause so they don't really like anybody

if you switch GF's for the younger model you just experiance menopause twice

its like the movie Groundhog Day

[dan_pdx]

We finally ran an external duct to the range hood and swapped our crappy "blow in your face" hood to one that actually exhausts out the duct. Nice to be able to do things like saute onions without smelling them in every room in the house. So...I just walked into the kitchen and my wife is cooking a bratwurst in a cast iron pan on the stove with the fan off. I think she thinks it's too loud but I'm too scared to ask. Maybe I shouldn't complain, I mean, my office smells delicious now.

[MakersTeleMark]

Just reach around her, give her a kiss on the neck and hit the fan switch.

[AK47bp]

Just reach around her, give her a kiss on the neck and hit the fan switch.

I do this everyday without the kiss.


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[Diamond Joe]

I've been trying to teach my wife that light switches have both an "on" AND an "off" position. I think she might be starting to pick it up.

[el hefe]

I think this was mentioned previously but my wife consistently forgets to put the umbrella down off of the dock. It was hot so didn't mind diving down 10ft to retrieve.

[plugboots]

There was a commercial a long time ago, probably for beer, where the voice-over is talking about the friend who’s whipped. The buddies are watching the game or something and they’re giving him shit for being whipped, etc.
Anyway, she walks in the room, and she’s hotter than set of jumper cables at a TGR summit, and says for the guys to use the coasters, I think, and all the guys leap for the coasters and straighten up the place, etc.
I guess el hefe’s that guy.


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[bigdude2468]

I've been trying to teach my wife that light switches have both an "on" AND an "off" position. I think she might be starting to pick it up.

I know your pain...and no my wife is not "starting to pick it up".

[HD333]

We have our laundry upstairs in a hall closet with those doors that open out and fold.

The hall is narrow and I am not. I have to use this hall anytime I leave my office. The fucking doors are ALWAYS open or half open and the light is usually on. I regularly clip a shoulder on a door and start swearing and screaming about closing the doors.

My lovely wife’s response is, I’m going back in there anyways so I leave them open.

I’m going to rip the doors off the hinges soon.


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[skaredshtles]

<snip>
I’m going to rip the doors off the hinges soon.

This is a pro-level husband move.

[XXX-er]

We have our laundry upstairs in a hall closet with those doors that open out and fold.

The hall is narrow and I am not. I have to use this hall anytime I leave my office. The fucking doors are ALWAYS open or half open and the light is usually on. I regularly clip a shoulder on a door and start swearing and screaming about closing the doors.

My lovely wife’s response is, I’m going back in there anyways so I leave them open.

I’m going to rip the doors off the hinges soon.


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If those are the bifold doors they are spring loaded at the top and so they come out real easy

[PB]

Pocket door?
But comes with whole new set of issues.

[yeahman]

If those are the bifold doors they are spring loaded at the top and so they come out real easy

Yeah sometimes it's easier just to remove those bifolds than be constantly opening and closing them, especially if you have carpet and it drags on the door.

When we bought our house I took out all the old 1970s bifold closet doors with the idea that I would replace them. About eight years later I did. But honestly having doorless closets is very convenient.

[waxman]

There was a commercial a long time ago, probably for beer, where the voice-over is talking about the friend who’s whipped. The buddies are watching the game or something and they’re giving him shit for being whipped, etc.
Anyway, she walks in the room, and she’s hotter than set of jumper cables at a TGR summit, and says for the guys to use the coasters, I think, and all the guys leap for the coasters and straighten up the place, etc.
I guess el hefe’s that guy.


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I nominate this post for hall of fame status.

[AK47bp]

I think this was mentioned previously but my wife consistently forgets to put the umbrella down off of the dock. It was hot so didn't mind diving down 10ft to retrieve.

That’s it!!

Divorce is the only option.

How can you live like this?




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[Marshall Tucker]

I thought they were "accordian doors" and they will fuck your life up. Took me about 15 years of me breaking them but finally she gave in on the laundry "alcove" in the entrance hall, from the carport, and now we have curtains. such an improvement.

[el hefe]

That’s it!!

Divorce is the only option.

How can you live like this?




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I'll send her your number if she does it again.

[AK47bp]

I'll send her your number if she does it again.

Careful.

I do have an inflatable kayak and I know she’s into boats.




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[riser4]

Heh. Somebody other than me or the kids keeps leaving the bi-fold doors open on the hall closet. I'm also too wide and am routinely crashing into them. Which makes the dog bark. And I'm the bad guy.

[MyNameIsAugustWest]

Build yerself some barn doors. Hardware has gotten a lot cheaper. Just did this in a house I'm trying to bring out of the 70s.

[bagtagley]

MT's got it. Pull accordion doors, put up curtains. It'll only take several hours. However long for your wife to pick out curtains, and 5 minutes for you to take down the doors and install the curtains.

[skaredshtles]

Build yerself some barn doors. Hardware has gotten a lot cheaper. Just did this in a house I'm trying to bring out of the 70s.

I kinda like this idea... way simpler and less infuriating than those goddam sliding closet doors that were ubiquitous in the 80's. Those things SUCK.

[riser4]

I kinda like this idea... way simpler and less infuriating than those goddam sliding closet doors that were ubiquitous in the 80's. Those things SUCK.

Pocket doors?

[PB]

Pocket doors?

Yeah - those. We have both, and barn doors win hands down.