I love my wife and all, but Jesus Hercules Christ...

[skaredshtles]

Are you my wife? “Is that what you’re wearing? Go change.”

My wife will do that shit too. "Your shirt doesn't match your shorts. Go change."

I mean... I know it doesn't match, but I really don't GAF. But I just turn around and head off to change, 'cause I like sex.

[bennymac]

What is it about intelligent adult women that makes them do everything exactly how their mom trained them to do it?

I can see her mom's training in everything she does. And she didn't particularly like her mom.

omg yes this.

[old goat]

I'm pretty sure you've already lamented about this particular quirk in this very thread. Old Man.

I'm always shocked when anyone remembers anything I posted. It could be dementia that I don't remember what I've posted but more likely I didn't think what I wrote was important enough to remember. Glad you disagree : - )
I had a 90 something woman in my office and her 70 something daughter. They could have been 30 and 6. Or 6 and 6.

[AK47bp]

I had a 90 something woman in my office and her 70 something daughter. They could have been 30 and 6. Or 6 and 6.

So hot


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[old goat]

So hot


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I said 6 and 6--as in years old, not 6 on 6.

[funkendrenchman]

Like talking is a bad thing. We’re so fucked up and disconnected in the modern world that we think normal social interaction is bad


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When you’re trying to concentrate while driving a car, it is.

[californiagrown]

When you’re trying to concentrate while driving a car, it is.

Ever been driving in a white-out on a highway pass at night while your wife is, unsolicited, trying to talk through relationship issues with you and complaining that you aren't listening or invested in what she has to say? Yeah. Not a great time for that sweetheart.

[Hopeless Sinner]

Can we crack into this one a bit because I am struggling. I have two young daughters and yeah, they are little kids so they frustrate the shit out of me sometimes, but at the end of the day I am a mid 40s man and you can only piss me off so much because kids do shit and I'm not about to argue with someone who's never filed taxes. My wife gets into it with these girls like they are same age and all of a sudden I have three girls under 10 years old in the house and no wife. Again, I suppose I can get pretty riled up here and there, but letting a 6 year old push your buttons seems so foreign to me. I grew up with brothers though. You get out of line and you'll spend some time in silence without access to your favorite shit. Neither my Mom or my Dad stuck around for me to have elementary school arguments with them because they had better shit to do than listen to why my gum wasn't as good as the gum my brother got. All the gum would just disappear, problem solved.

I get the "you need to back me up" talk and all I am thinking is that everyone needs to calm the hell down.

Any of this due to being cooped up by remote school or wfh?

[tuco]

When you’re trying to concentrate while driving a car, it is.

Ever been driving in a white-out on a highway pass at night while your wife is, unsolicited, trying to talk through relationship issues with you and complaining that you aren't listening or invested in what she has to say? Yeah. Not a great time for that sweetheart.

You clearly know nothing of the fine art of multi tasking.

[Kinnikinnick]

Somehow a bit of plastic got in oven.

Wife turned on oven to cook.

Plastic Fumes permeate kitchen.

I open windows for cross ventilation.

Wife closes windows.

“Too cold”

Wife chooses inhaling plastic fumes over being chilly for 15 minutes.


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[Elkhound Odin]

Ever been driving in a white-out on a highway pass at night while your wife is, unsolicited, trying to talk through relationship issues with you and complaining that you aren't listening or invested in what she has to say? Yeah. Not a great time for that sweetheart.

In a whiteout scenario, I think most wives would be constantly saying "slow down", "be careful", "watch that car/truck", etc. Or have enough sense to keep quite out of fear.

I find at sharp, "do you want to drive?!!" usually puts a muzzle on my wife in that situation.

[puma]

In a whiteout scenario, I think most wives would be constantly saying "slow down", "be careful", "watch that car/truck", etc. Or have enough sense to keep quite out of fear.

I find at sharp, "do you want to drive?!!" usually puts a muzzle on my wife in that situation.

Wow. It is like you are in my car...

[hatchgreenchile]

My dear wife has turned to coffee, thanks to our 5 month old. The past few weeks have been an exercise in patience as she disrupts my decades long coffee routine.

A few favorites:
Mrs wants an espresso machine and thinks the $200 contraption from Target will provide a good pull.
French Press? Nope, "too muddy".
Aeropress? Nope, "too much work".
Prefers Starbucks , because who doesn't love an overly bitter, caffeinated and mass produced bag of beans.

[nickwm21]

In a whiteout scenario, I think most wives would be constantly saying "slow down", "be careful", "watch that car/truck", etc. Or have enough sense to keep quite out of fear.

I find at sharp, "do you want to drive?!!" usually puts a muzzle on my wife in that situation.

I do 99% of the driving in our relationship. I commute 45min each way every day. I drive on all the weekend and weeknight excursions. She’s been WFH for years and maybe puts 3mi on her car a week.

She still makes all the backseat driver comments. “Brakes, brakes, brakes!” “There’s a guy crossing the street up there.” Etc...

How the fuck does she think I make it to and from work every fucking day without her in the car to give me pointers?


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[Hopeless Sinner]

My dear wife has turned to coffee, thanks to our 5 month old. The past few weeks have been an exercise in patience as she disrupts my decades long coffee routine.<br>
<br>
A few favorites:<br>
Mrs wants an espresso machine and thinks the $200 contraption from Target will provide a good pull. <br>
French Press? Nope, "too muddy". <br>
Aeropress? Nope, "too much work". <br>
Prefers Starbucks , because who doesn't love an overly bitter, caffeinated and mass produced bag of beans.

<br>
<br>
Same here. Nespresso machine, the shit smells terrible, but I do like the decaf-espresso w dessert every once in a while.

[AK47bp]

I do 99% of the driving in our relationship. I commute 45min each way every day. I drive on all the weekend and weeknight excursions. She’s been WFH for years and maybe puts 3mi on her car a week.

She still makes all the backseat driver comments. “Brakes, brakes, brakes!” “There’s a guy crossing the street up there.” Etc...

How the fuck does she think I make it to and from work every fucking day without her in the car to give me pointers?


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Same here. She might drive 2 miles a week.

Sometimes I get so fed up with the comments I make her drive. Then I immediately regret that decision as she’s tailgating, heavy braking, not checking her blind spot, not merging over when approaching a highway on-ramp so other vehicles can get on, etc.


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[m2711c]

cause you’re supposed to be constantly reminding her of those things and trying to work out any old relationship problems at the same time....

[skaredshtles]

<snip> decaf-espresso

[skaredshtles]

JHFC - wife baked a pastry roll this morning, took it out of the oven, got a cutting board, put the hot pan with the roll on *top* of the cutting board, then cut the goddam thing on the metal pan with my good Spyderco bread knife.



I'm going to have to start hiding my good knives, I'm afraid...

[tgapp]

Same here. Nespresso machine, the shit smells terrible, but I do like the decaf-espresso w dessert every once in a while.

pull a shot of nespresso over ice cream. something about that bitter flavor with vanilla icecream is just heavenly.

so, i'm a coffee nerd, and we always have exceptional coffee at home. we've got a good espresso machine and a good pourover setup, and neither are very difficult to use. the grinders are set just where they need to be, and we've been over the SOP quite a few times now - "measure 18 grams, add it to the grinder, grind it, dump it in the basket, level it, push it down with the tamper. lock it into the machine and turn the pump on". less steps than a load of laundry, but any time i'm gone for a weekend, i'll find that she's gotten into my camping supplies, found my premium instant coffee, and drank $20 of instant over a weekend.

after she complained about awful mornings when i would dawn patrol, i realized that the reason her mornings were awful is because she couldn't be bothered to make coffee on her own, so i would get home and she would be grumpy and sleepy waiting for me to give her the caffeine fix she needs to start her day. so now i wake up ten minutes early, make her coffee as well, and put it in a thermos on the stove before i head out the door.

[old_newguy]

pull a shot of nespresso over ice cream. something about that bitter flavor with vanilla icecream is just heavenly.

so, i'm a coffee nerd, and we always have exceptional coffee at home. we've got a good espresso machine and a good pourover setup, and neither are very difficult to use. the grinders are set just where they need to be, and we've been over the SOP quite a few times now - "measure 18 grams, add it to the grinder, grind it, dump it in the basket, level it, push it down with the tamper. lock it into the machine and turn the pump on". less steps than a load of laundry, but any time i'm gone for a weekend, i'll find that she's gotten into my camping supplies, found my premium instant coffee, and drank $20 of instant over a weekend.

after she complained about awful mornings when i would dawn patrol, i realized that the reason her mornings were awful is because she couldn't be bothered to make coffee on her own, so i would get home and she would be grumpy and sleepy waiting for me to give her the caffeine fix she needs to start her day. so now i wake up ten minutes early, make her coffee as well, and put it in a thermos on the stove before i head out the door.

Some of you make caffeine intake overly complex. Jesus Christ, measure 18 grams, wtf.

I like a good cup of coffee as much as anyone, but my wife would fucking kill me if it was more complicated than “boil water, grind beans, put all in pour over or French press”.

I also don’t tell her how to make a sandwich.

[tgapp]

Some of you make caffeine intake overly complex. Jesus Christ, measure 18 grams, wtf.

ok boomer

[old_newguy]

ok boomer

Your wife doesn’t even like coffee enough to follow your routine and would rather drink instant.

[nickwm21]

JHFC - wife baked a pastry roll this morning, took it out of the oven, got a cutting board, put the hot pan with the roll on *top* of the cutting board, then cut the goddam thing on the metal pan with my good Spyderco bread knife.



I'm going to have to start hiding my good knives, I'm afraid...

I took me 5 years to train my wife to use the nice knives properly.

When I cook at the in-laws - the knives are so dull it’s impressive. Then I watch my MIL use her chefs knife directly on the granite counter top. Mothers and Daughters...




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[Conundrum]

JHFC - wife baked a pastry roll this morning, took it out of the oven, got a cutting board, put the hot pan with the roll on *top* of the cutting board, then cut the goddam thing on the metal pan with my good Spyderco bread knife.



I'm going to have to start hiding my good knives, I'm afraid...

I’ve hidden my favorites. A couple of weeks ago I was told the knives were dull. Took a couple beers and the knives to the shed and got busy with a Worksharp and stone finished them. Put some of the less desirable knives back in the block. Now I watch her filet Amazon boxes with them while mumbling something about not seeing the chefs knife that she likes. Then I grab the utility scissors from the block and cut up a head of broccoli. The irony is lost on her.