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Thread: I hate camping

  1. #1
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    I hate camping

    I spent 2 days camping in the rain. It always rains when I go camping. I don't sleep well, I smell bad, I don't enjoy shitting in the woods, bugs love sucking my blood and I end up doing laundry for 2 days when I get home. I swear I'm not ever doing it again, but then somehow I end up getting talked into it again.

    I've never once experienced any of the transcendent moments I see in the Patagonia catalog, and I'm beginning to think those are just myths perpetuated by the industry to sell stuff.

    What am I doing wrong?
    "timberridge is terminally vapid" -- a fortune cookie in Yueyang

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Timberridge View Post
    What am I doing wrong?
    Being a whiny little bitch?
    Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
    Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
    Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.


  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Timberridge View Post
    What am I doing wrong?
    start here

    Brought to you by Carl's Jr.

  4. #4
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    You should give it more time. You'll emerge from the woods with a full, healthy beard, a lean little women with dreadlocks at your side, and you'll be an expert at hacky sack. And probably 15 pounds lighter, because you starved for days at a time.

  5. #5
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    Last time the air mattress went flat at 2 am, I told the wife I was over tent camping. Maybe I will start with a tent camper and see where that leads me. And I agree the tent camping in the rain blows. Definitely want an RV for that.
    Quote Originally Posted by leroy jenkins View Post
    I think you'd have an easier time understanding people if you remembered that 80% of them are fucking morons.
    That is why I like dogs, more than most people.

  6. #6
    Hugh Conway Guest
    if you want a transcendental REI catalog moment - you don't set foot in a tent, duh. And you go from makeup straight to the shot when the lights right. Or you can post in Tech Talk, everyone there will happily direct you to the right consumer products for that perfect moment in your life - as long as you can breakdown how you're a 4:1:3:3:1 camper who gets about 15 days a year in.

  7. #7
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    Are you sure that you are bringing enough booze and weed? Seems to keep the skeeters at bay, and makes you sleep like a baby (a really stoned, drunk, baby).

    I have stopped camping for the sake of camping anymore though, backpacking in a few miles just to set up a tent and burn some wood is just not my gig anymore.

  8. #8
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    Car camping. HUDGE tent. Plenty of good booze and food. That's how we roll.

    Probably will never go backpacking again, mainly because the wife would rather be kicked in the crotch.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by systemoverblow'd View Post
    start here

    Clark, that there is an RV.


    Quote Originally Posted by Hugh Conway View Post
    if you want a transcendental REI catalog moment - you don't set foot in a tent, duh. And you go from makeup straight to the shot when the lights right. Or you can post in Tech Talk, everyone there will happily direct you to the right consumer products for that perfect moment in your life - as long as you can breakdown how you're a 4:1:3:3:1 camper who gets about 15 days a year in.
    15 days. Pfft. That's not Living The Dream.
    I still call it The Jake.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by gointhedistance View Post
    Jesus Fucking Christ, d00d! The Japs will spot that blue tent from 15,000 feet! You don't want to wake up to Zeros strafing you, do you?
    Daniel Ortega eats here.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Timberridge View Post
    I spent 2 days camping in the rain. It always rains when I go camping. I don't sleep well, I smell bad, I don't enjoy shitting in the woods, bugs love sucking my blood and I end up doing laundry for 2 days when I get home. I swear I'm not ever doing it again, but then somehow I end up getting talked into it again.

    I've never once experienced any of the transcendent moments I see in the Patagonia catalog, and I'm beginning to think those are just myths perpetuated by the industry to sell stuff.

    What am I doing wrong?
    camp with a purpose. camping is great when you're backpacking and literally the only way to get to a location is to take 2-3 days to get there and camp along the way. or canoe camping, etc... then the camping is a means to an end, the only way to get somewhere.. camping for the sake of camping is boring, i don't get the whole car camping campground thing..

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by grapedrink View Post
    camp with a purpose. camping is great when you're backpacking and literally the only way to get to a location is to take 2-3 days to get there and camp along the way. or canoe camping, etc... then the camping is a means to an end, the only way to get somewhere.. camping for the sake of camping is boring, i don't get the whole car camping campground thing..
    Well, seems to be an excuse for many to sit around in lawn chairs next to the rv/trailer and get super drunk while the kids roam free.

  13. #13
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    I did a lot of backpacking in college and if I'm totally honest with myself, it was more work than fun and not something I would choose to do today. Lots of great memories of really remote places though. Car camping, however, I can see myself doing the rest of my life. Its so easy in comparison. I always combine a camping trip with a favorite activity, like climbing or fishing so maybe that makes the difference. If I was just camping for camping's sake I'd just be bored.

  14. #14
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    Car camping can be great with kids or as a base for long days on the trail when solo or out with a good partner.

  15. #15
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    Do it like I do it - get paid really well for it. Work 14 days at a time in the woods, sleep on the ground, eat MRE's, miss a few showers. Then go stay in a hotel with your wife when you vacation.

    I've no objection to camping while I travel but to head to a location just to camp? Not my cup of tea.
    Living vicariously through myself.

  16. #16
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    I'm over it. Years ago we were camping at the beach, this friend of mine from New York who had never camped before was there and he was like, "This is it? We sit around and get eaten by bugs and sleep on the ground? Fuck this, I'm going to a hotel." And he did. And we laughed at him. But he was right.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by grapedrink View Post
    camp with a purpose. camping is great when you're backpacking and literally the only way to get to a location is to take 2-3 days to get there and camp along the way. or canoe camping, etc... then the camping is a means to an end, the only way to get somewhere.. camping for the sake of camping is boring, i don't get the whole car camping campground thing..
    My brother's family has a nice 5th wheel (like above) and seasonal campsite on the water of a beautiful lake. Every single weekend, they "get away" from their house. Every weekend they can relax on the deck, fish on the lake, grill out, drink fresh spring water, have a campfire, go on the boat, hike, etc. So they do this every weekend and then spend a single whole week there. Their area is only open to seasonal people so they have friends there as well. They treat them like "mini-vacations" all summer long because they don't make a ton of cash, the 5th wheel interest is a tax write-off (second home), and they can pay off like a normal mortgage. It is the only way they can "get away" from the daily grind with two teenage girls that everyone is agreeable to and make his life less stressful. I love visiting his site. You have all the things camping provide and can "rough it" if you want, but can go take a shit/shower in peace, have refrigerated bevvies all weekend and sleep without the bullshit if you want. I like tent camping, but I don't mind camping in an RV. Just like you normally spend very little time in your tent when camping, that's the only time you spend inside an RV if you're doing it right. Most people don't just drive up, turn on the tv and stay inside all day.

    Relaxing in the woods, catching up with friends and family, drinking beers by the fire is an awesome way to spend a weekend now and then. How I feel anyway.
    Brought to you by Carl's Jr.

  18. #18
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    What you are doing wrong is obvious. Clearly you need to go paleo and gluten free to feel the essence of the wild. Kill a caribou with a flint knife and eat its heart raw, not only while you connect to the wild, it will increase your virility and drive your woman wild with passion.

    Geees, the art of camping has been lost on metrosexuals

    I agree it is a constitutional right for Americans to be assholes...its just too bad that so many take the opportunity...
    iscariot

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by systemoverblow'd View Post
    My brother's family has a nice 5th wheel (like above) and seasonal campsite on the water of a beautiful lake. Every single weekend, they "get away" from their house. Every weekend they can relax on the deck, fish on the lake, grill out, drink fresh spring water, have a campfire, go on the boat, etc. So they do this every weekend and then spend a single whole week there. Their area is only open to seasonal people so they have friends there as well. They treat them like "mini-vacations" all summer long because they don't make a ton of cash, the 5th wheel interest is a tax write-off (second home), and they can pay off like a normal mortgage. It is the only way they can "get away" from the daily grind with two teenage girls that everyone is agreeable to and make his life less stressful. I love visiting his site. You have all the things camping provide and can "rough it" if you want, but can go take a shit/shower in peace, have refrigerated bevvies all weekend and sleep without the bullshit if you want. I like tent camping, but I don't mind camping in an RV. Just like you normally spend very little time in your tent when camping, that's the only time you spend inside an RV if you're doing it right.
    That, in no way shape or form is camping, but if it makes them feel like Neanderthals, great.

    I agree it is a constitutional right for Americans to be assholes...its just too bad that so many take the opportunity...
    iscariot

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by irul&ublo View Post
    Being a whiny little bitch?
    I'm ok with that assessment, just don't call me little. I'm 6'2" and 210#...205# after loosing several pints of blood.

    That Iceland picture looks great btw. That's what I'm seeking. Probably minimal tree roots too, which I always seem to sleep on in New England. I just can't travel to Iceland right now...kids and stuff. Pretty sure a volcano would explode if I went there and I'd wake up to 8 inches of choking ash and a flaming tent.
    "timberridge is terminally vapid" -- a fortune cookie in Yueyang

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    I'm over it. Years ago we were camping at the beach, this friend of mine from New York who had never camped before was there and he was like, "This is it? We sit around and get eaten by bugs and sleep on the ground? Fuck this, I'm going to a hotel." And he did. And we laughed at him. But he was right.
    camping=going to a music festival and setting up a camp, while simultaneously having a hotel room within a couple miles. Rage at the festival, pass out in the tent, drive to hotel for shower, change, food, ice, then back to the festival. camping. ( i actually prefer the condo on site, but that isnt always an option) Wife's idea of roughing it is staying at a hotel with no spa.

  22. #22
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    RVs or fifth wheels are not camping.

  23. #23
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    I camp when I'm on my way to somewhere - camping's never the objective, it's the means.

    I must be old - I recoil at the idea of camping at a music fest.

    When I'd get back from weeks on fires in Alaska, my (ex)wife would want to go camping.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by hutash View Post
    That, in no way shape or form is camping, but if it makes them feel like Neanderthals, great.
    I'm glad you made us aware of another subject you think you know more than everyone else about. I was getting scared that there may be one thing you didn't do better than everyone else.
    Brought to you by Carl's Jr.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Timberridge View Post
    What am I doing wrong?
    thinking about what it isn't instead of what it is ... the basics of life

    I like to go out on the north coast in my seakayak, It takes a few days to get in the groove but then its travel/finding heat & shelter/making food and with the right gear its less uncomfortable and its cheap ... a 3 weeks vaca for < 500$
    Lee Lau - xxx-er is the laziest Asian canuck I know

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