This flight attendant deserves a raise.

[Art Shirk]

What if, in order to get your taxes completed, you paid wads of money to be jammed into a metal tube, seated arm-to-arm, with a bunch of smelly, loud jabronis? You aren't allowed to leave, or at this stage of the game, even allowed to piss in a small closet that they provide at either end of this industrial-sized pringles can. Then, your accountant, who has your taxes stashed and held for ransom in a small metal cart that will eventually bang you in your shin, grabs a microphone and starts a comedy routine.

[that dude who did that thing]

Gotta agree, I'm not looking for weak-ass "comedy" on my airline. At least not from the airline. I have some friends I occasionally get to fly with who are genuinely funny.

I want the FAs to get through the preliminaries as easily and painlessly as possible. I know the whole safety speech almost as well as they do, which means I can tune it out and read my book, get some work done, or get to sleep. Until they start into a lame as shit comedy routine instead of the safety speech I was exepcting. At that point they are actually interrupting my train of thought. And NOT in a way that gets me to actually listen to spiel I've heard hundreds of times before.

Not funny, mildly irritating, and certainly not a reason to give someone a raise. When an FA figures out how to get the passengers to deplane 5 minutes faster than they do, now: THAT will deserve a raise, especially on those days I'm sitting in Row 28 because I had to book at the last minute.

[Rodneyyee]

You guys are such assholes. That woman is over 40, and has three children and she is definitely attractive. You think she needs to spend a few months salary on plastic surgery to meet your standards? WTF.

whoaaaaaa Easy Tiger-I'm willing to bet her bolt ons. bleached blonde head and the various other stupid thing SHE does on her own free will is actually to impress other dumb chicks like her. And just to be clear- Would Not Bang-mouthy divorced and beyond annoying.

[BigDaddy]

Not funny, mildly irritating, and certainly not a reason to give someone a raise. When an FA figures out how to get the passengers to deplane 5 minutes faster than they do, now: THAT will deserve a raise, especially on those days I'm sitting in Row 28 because I had to book at the last minute.

I read a study recently that said there is little difference in time no matter how you board or deplane. Seen the two door option a few times and I like that, tho. Or you can always Go Greyhound...

Some rich bitch once said poor means taking a right when entering the plane.

[booner]

you'd let er slizob on the knizob ONCE at altitude.

[skiballs]

When an FA figures out how to get the passengers to deplane 5 minutes faster than they do, now: .

Why? So you can get that choice spot right in front of the baggage carousel.

[that dude who did that thing]

Why? So you can get that choice spot right in front of the baggage carousel.

Who checks baggage?

Maybe two flights a year, I'm checking luggage.

[iceman]

I don't check bags. That's for the little people.

[philth]

It was not that funny, really.

[iceman]

It was not that funny, really.

plus, vertical video.

Come on man.

[skiballs]

I don't check bags. That's for the little people.

So you only check bags if you have midgets in them?

[iceman]

My midgets travel in the cabin dude.

2 to a seat, but hey.

[Tippster]

plus, vertical video.

Come on man.

Finally someone mentions the real problem with that video.

[MMP]

I'd like to see them pull that shit on a flight out of Vegas.

Save it for flights to Orlando.

[Tippster]

Like there is any difference between Vegas and Orlando other than how you blew your cash.

[MMP]

Out of Vegas, into Orlando. I thought there was a distinction, maybe not

[iceman]

Finally someone mentions the real problem with that video.

I kinda thought one of you video geeks would bring it up but no love.

[Supermoon]

Like there is any difference between Vegas and Orlando other than how you blew your cash.

Fat white people from flyover country with Mickey Mouse T-shirts all day long.

[Tippster]

Fat white people from flyover country with Mickey Mouse T-shirts all day long.

You just described both places...?

[Supermoon]

Exactly.

[skifishbum]

aisle donkies are overpaid it's a marginally skilled profession requiring people skills
now when a couple honkers get sucked into the engine
i gots no problem w/ that cat being well financially compensted

[systemoverblow'd]

I kinda thought one of you video geeks would bring it up but no love.

At this point I just give up. I get vertical video given to me every single day. We even have a tips and tricks video to give to people on how to shoot with what they have and they still fucking hold their phones vertical, shoot in front of a bright window so you can't see their face, talk into their webcam with their laptop on their lap so you're looking up their nose and camera shake like you're having a seizure, etc. There comes a time you just throw your hands up and give up. I reached that point about a year ago.

[Tippster]

At this point I just give up. I get vertical video given to me every single day. We even have a tips and tricks video to give to people on how to shoot with what they have and they still fucking hold their phones vertical, shoot in front of a bright window so you can't see their face, talk into their webcam with their laptop on their lap so you're looking up their nose and camera shake like you're having a seizure, etc. There comes a time you just throw your hands up and give up. I reached that point about a year ago.

My company tried giving iPhones to all our text scribblers to shoot some video (and take stills) of stuff when they travel rather than sending a photog along. That lasted a month.

Job security, baby.

[iceman]

rerun, but I like her voice…

[BigDaddy]

At this point I just give up. I get vertical video given to me every single day. We even have a tips and tricks video to give to people on how to shoot with what they have and they still fucking hold their phones vertical, shoot in front of a bright window so you can't see their face, talk into their webcam with their laptop on their lap so you're looking up their nose and camera shake like you're having a seizure, etc. There comes a time you just throw your hands up and give up. I reached that point about a year ago.

Such an easy fix....


Just manufacture and sell iPhones horizontally.