OFFICIAL I70 BITCH THREAD....

**fastfred** · 05-28-2021, 07:45 AM

Originally Posted by Hott Butt Mud

.
Yo, how can others get mountainy as fuck?

pretty easy

drop a mask at the trail head
leave a bag of dog shit next to the trail
goto the bathroom in the woods and leave toilet paper blowing in the wind
ignore road closures drive off road make a new trail/road
act like a local pretend your boss and live here even though you live in northglen
be a front range asshole
entiled cause there are your mountains
know everything an mansplain colorado to someone who just moved here or is visiting
hike a 14ers this weekend
park in someones driveway or cunt up a dirt road and park whereever you want blocking traffic
drive a huge suv or truck even though you work IT and live in highlands ranch cause you need the horse power and clearance in the mountains
get high on edibles and ramble on at the hot springs about how great colorado is

**Name Redacted** · 05-28-2021, 10:46 AM

Are the massive dips on Vail Pass fixed yet? I can’t believe how long those have gone without getting fixed. They did mellow them out a bit but I can see small cars getting sent like Jerry off a booter!

**adrenalated** · 05-28-2021, 11:47 AM

Originally Posted by Name Redacted

Are the massive dips on Vail Pass fixed yet? I can’t believe how long those have gone without getting fixed. They did mellow them out a bit but I can see small cars getting sent like Jerry off a booter!

They had construction zones set up and were grinding pavement off the bridges as of Tuesday. There's still some opportunities for airtime though.

Loading up the lifted Tundra camper with my flatbrim collection this afternoon, gonna park it in fastfred's front yard and piss on his bushes all weekend

**fastfred** · 05-28-2021, 12:50 PM

I thought the party was at foggys house but he has some dumb rule about no lifted tundras and Van's in his driveway he doesn't want anyone in grand county to think hes a poser

There is a nice bump in silverthorne too

This weekend should be money for 70 closures snow slush and rv boat carnage

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**Name Redacted** · 05-28-2021, 01:08 PM

Here we go folks! I70 closed at G-wood due to major pileup.

I swear there seems to be a shitload more accidents lately, especially involving semi trucks. We saw a rolled over cement truck last week. They had a crane trying to roll it back over. Looked like a mess.

**skaredshtles** · 05-28-2021, 01:12 PM

Originally Posted by Name Redacted

Here we go folks! I70 closed at G-wood due to major pileup.

Is Cottonwood Pass open yet for the season? If it is... expect a shitshow up there as well!

**BFD** · 05-28-2021, 01:17 PM

Originally Posted by fastfred

pretty easy

drop a mask at the trail head
leave a bag of dog shit next to the trail
goto the bathroom in the woods and leave toilet paper blowing in the wind
ignore road closures drive off road make a new trail/road
act like a local pretend your boss and live here even though you live in northglen
be a front range asshole
entiled cause there are your mountains
know everything an mansplain colorado to someone who just moved here or is visiting
hike a 14ers this weekend
park in someones driveway or cunt up a dirt road and park whereever you want blocking traffic
drive a huge suv or truck even though you work IT and live in highlands ranch cause you need the horse power and clearance in the mountains
get high on edibles and ramble on at the hot springs about how great colorado is

nailed it. I had never seen a bag of dog shit by the trail head till the sprinters and man buns showed up this year.

**Name Redacted** · 05-28-2021, 01:18 PM

Originally Posted by BFD

nailed it. I had never seen a bag of dog shit by the trail head till the sprinters and man buns showed up this year.

Don’t worry, the poop fairy will take care of those.

**Kinnikinnick** · 05-28-2021, 03:18 PM

Originally Posted by Name Redacted

Here we go folks! I70 closed at G-wood due to major pileup.

I swear there seems to be a shitload more accidents lately, especially involving semi trucks. We saw a rolled over cement truck last week. They had a crane trying to roll it back over. Looked like a mess.

Only eastbound apparently, so the camper caravan will continue westward!!!

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**hawkgt** · 05-28-2021, 03:36 PM

I WAS the traffic. 1:45 from front range up to Dillon lake for some suburb camping. Traffic flowed pretty well, typical merge shit show at Floyd Hill and “oh my god corners” in Idaho Springs. The shit show lane shifters are the ones that have to fuck everything up by slamming brakes and causing a slinky.

Anyway, beer is cracked open and all is good

**The SnowShow** · 05-28-2021, 03:44 PM

Originally Posted by hawkgt

I WAS the traffic. 1:45 from front range up to Dillon lake for some suburb camping. Traffic flowed pretty well, typical merge shit show at Floyd Hill and “oh my god corners” in Idaho Springs. The shit show lane shifters are the ones that have to fuck everything up by slamming brakes and causing a slinky.

Anyway, beer is cracked open and all is good

I too was traffic at 12:30. Not bad but some slowdowns where you mentioned. And a couple of lane closures moving 30mph AKA trucks. Enjoying the cool breezes up here and the quiet I found.

**hawkgt** · 05-28-2021, 04:03 PM

FYI, buddies BIL booked one to many spots at Heron Bay campground. Spot open if someone wants it. PM me

**Shredhead** · 05-28-2021, 05:11 PM

Great day skiing Independence Pass.
Coming down, I see a huge semi heading up, wtf.
Now I know.

**Name Redacted** · 05-28-2021, 05:22 PM

Originally Posted by Kinnikinnick

Only eastbound apparently, so the camper caravan will continue westward!!!

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Sounds like a semi rolled off WB and landed on EB! WTF?!? Truckers are out of control these days. Seriously. It is almost a weekly, if not daily, occurrence.

**The SnowShow** · 05-28-2021, 05:43 PM

Originally Posted by Shredhead

Great day skiing Independence Pass.
Coming down, I see a huge semi heading up, wtf.
Now I know.

Can a semi get over Indy? I’m assuming no?

**concretejungle** · 05-28-2021, 05:48 PM

Originally Posted by The SnowShow

Can a semi get over Indy? I’m assuming no?

Maybe this guy was just a bad driver?

**The SnowShow** · 05-28-2021, 07:23 PM

Damn, good memories of 2011. Opening day of Indy Pass. 200% avg. snowpack.

https://youtu.be/pJ2Jg7ni7bs

**Foggy_Goggles** · 06-01-2021, 07:39 AM

So the only substantial traffic I saw this weekend in Grand County was mid-morning Sunday. I think I'm getting the Front Ranger figured out. Make sure you get all hypy and smug on the socials that you are gonna bounce Thursday evening to get a jump on the crowds. Kinda ease into things on Friday, 'cause whats the rush? Its a long weekend. Probably get the happy hour/dinner out thing lined up for the evening. Wake up late Saturday because that's what you do. Kill the about town latte scene then spend the afternoon packing up in order to beat traffic. Then get your sheep on Sunday.

So basically you take Friday off to get two days in the mountains? Nice.

**hatchgreenchile** · 06-01-2021, 07:51 AM

I was digging the Fairplay stoplight traffic on 285.
~30 min delay, no biggie, but just another hurdle in living out the #CoLoRadBro ethos.

**Kinnikinnick** · 06-01-2021, 08:06 AM

Originally Posted by Foggy_Goggles

So the only substantial traffic I saw this weekend in Grand County was mid-morning Sunday. I think I'm getting the Front Ranger figured out. Make sure you get all hypy and smug on the socials that you are gonna bounce Thursday evening to get a jump on the crowds. Kinda ease into things on Friday, 'cause whats the rush? Its a long weekend. Probably get the happy hour/dinner out thing lined up for the evening. Wake up late Saturday because that's what you do. Kill the about town latte scene then spend the afternoon packing up in order to beat traffic. Then get your sheep on Sunday.

So basically you take Friday off to get two days in the mountains? Nice.

Bite that hand. Fucking front rangers. How dare they hire you to build their house and then show up to clog up YOUR town. Who they hell are these people???

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**The SnowShow** · 06-01-2021, 09:41 AM

Originally Posted by Foggy_Goggles

So the only substantial traffic I saw this weekend in Grand County was mid-morning Sunday. I think I'm getting the Front Ranger figured out. Make sure you get all hypy and smug on the socials that you are gonna bounce Thursday evening to get a jump on the crowds. Kinda ease into things on Friday, 'cause whats the rush? Its a long weekend. Probably get the happy hour/dinner out thing lined up for the evening. Wake up late Saturday because that's what you do. Kill the about town latte scene then spend the afternoon packing up in order to beat traffic. Then get your sheep on Sunday.

So basically you take Friday off to get two days in the mountains? Nice.

Don’t forget about the Ski Town All Star hat shopping after the lattes. Why go play in the mountains when you can buy an Asspen hat or Dawn Patrol hat to show the guys at JP Morgan?

**hatchgreenchile** · 06-01-2021, 09:51 AM

I'm still waiting for the "How to Mountain" book release. I expect Foggy and Fred to be major contributors.
Acceptable destinations, discretionary spending, apparel, vehicles, and mannerisms all need to be covered.
When I pass the Morrison exit, I want to ensure that I'm doing it right.

**fastfred** · 06-01-2021, 09:51 AM

Rough weekend? Weather got people down? #van life delivers brah

Was the dude w twenty trash bags and all his belongings hanging out at the fairplay traffic light or was he back in hartsel this weekend?

#Metro fairplay bring the traffic circle its coming by 2030

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**Name Redacted** · 06-01-2021, 10:15 AM

Originally Posted by Kinnikinnick

Bite that hand. Fucking front rangers. How dare they hire you to build their house and then show up to clog up YOUR town. Who they hell are these people???

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You must have missed the memo. We’ve gotten so many WFHers up in here that mountain communities are now self-sustaining. We don’t need Franger Danger any more to keep the lights on. In fact, the more they stay east of Evergreen the better, they just get in the way of the real big spenders.

**bamboocoreONLY** · 06-01-2021, 10:19 AM

Originally Posted by Name Redacted

You must have missed the memo. We’ve gotten so many WFHers up in here that mountain communities are now self-sustaining. We don’t need Franger Danger any more to keep the lights on. In fact, the more they stay east of Evergreen the better, they just get in the way of the real big spenders.

I have no opinion on being against front rangers since I grew up down there. But there is something to be said for how much they spend versus how much actual tourists spend. Front rangers hardly shop Main Street in breck and when they are they’re just walking around picking items they’ll haggle on later down at EVO to save 2 bucks