Vladimir Putin skiing: maggot analysis

[WaistDeepGroomers]

Eh mags - putting together an article for tomorrow with various athlete analyses of the form of Sochi's most important athlete - recreational skier and career autocratic Vladimir Putin. Would love to get some maggot analysis of Putin's skiing style in anticipation of TGR's extensive and completely straight-faced Olympic coverage. Costas was unavailable for comment as he was getting his spray-tan done, but occasional competitive skier Daron Rahlves provided the following insight:

"Russian President Putin skiing in Sochi is quite boring. His lack of enjoyment, gaper gap, inside outside pole whacking to clear no snow on his boots, hip thrust pole pushing and uncomfortable poses takes away from his surprising smooth turns. For his status as a nation's leader I'd say he's a solid skier, but to improve he could tip those skis up and get them to bend for some power out of his turns. Maybe then he'd crack a smile and have some fun."

As well, would love to get some input on what you all might actually want to see us cover for the duration of the Olympics.

[userA]

skis like vdrontripper.
b

[Sirshredalot]

I'd say that he is obviously pretty athletic for a man his age.

He is a bit tense and has a hint of a stem at slow speed, his skis are a bit short, and he really looks like he doesn't have a great idea of how his poles are supposed to work. Maybe he should try hanging with the park rats in the slopestyle course? I hear it's fun.

[userA]

rog won't like the helmet or goggles but i'm sure he will endorse the skis.
b

[Tap]

Putin is good enough to compete in the Olympic GAYmes.

[spook]

hey, if you ain't got nothin but stupid unimaginative shit, just start slinging stupid unimaginative shit. so far 2 for 2.

[grinch]

his dolphin turns suck

[spook]

he looks good enough to have fun. i'm sure it breaks up the monotony of plotting and hiring hitmen. what's obama got for his machinations of empire? basketball? golf?

[spook]

Putin Critic Finds 200-Pound Wooden Cock On Roof Of Her BMW

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BMW drivers get accused of being dicks probably more than any other group of motorists, so critics of a popular Russian satirist may have found the most BMW-appropriate form of protest ever. Russia, everybody!

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The New Republic reports that noted Twitter satirist and prominent Putin critic Katya Romanovskaya went outside last week in Moscow to find this 200 pound wooden dick (and balls, don't forget the balls) on the roof of her 3-Series sedan.

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She and her co-author spent most of that day trying to get police to take the incident seriously, but they — and some onlookers — were too busy laughing and taking pictures. They ended up lugging it into their apartment and are currently deciding what to do with it. (I can think of a few things. HEY-OOOO!)

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Who's the culprit, you ask? Probably some state-backed, pro-Putin youngsters, the magazine reports:

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This is the kind of cockamamie (sorry) prank that reeks (sorry) of Nashi, the pro-Kremlin youth group founded after Ukraine's Orange Revolution in 2005. It was the Kremlin's way to engage the youth in politics by paying and brainwashing them to be their blunt instrument of revenge. These kids, often from poor families, have strange imaginations that center almost always on the scatalogical and the sexual. (They once used one prostitute named "Mumu" to lure various male opposition figures into bed in the same bugged apartment.) They manage to pull off these kinds of pranks by having the resources of the state at their disposal.

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You have to admit that they put it on the right kind of car.

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Photo credit Persident Roissi Facebook

http://jalopnik.com/putin-critic-fin...arah-hedgecock

[userA]

what's that got to do with skiing and ski related unimaginative shit. stop with the thread drift.
b

[liv2ski]

Dood would fit right in at Deer Valley. And ya, have some fun Fearless Leader

[brown9]

Why is it so flat that has to skate down the hill? Are they at deer valley?

[TBS]

If Digital Death is an 8.5, Putin is a 17.

Watching Vladi getting off the chair at 1:50 - thought he was going to knock down the boarder...

Why is it so flat that has to skate down the hill? Are they at deer valley?

Close - it's the Olympic cross country and biathlon course

[Bunion 2020]

Forward this to Epic, I am sure they will have some input.

[vdRONdripper]

skis like vdrontripper.
b

hahahaha bobby at least I ski black diamonds.

[LightRanger]

Dude sure needs those guards, what with all the gate bashing he's doing.

[homebrewd]

If I said he skied like a queer would I wake up dead?

Sent from my Nexus 4 using TGR Forums

[Vt-Freeheel]

Chin strap is too tight. No current colors.

[icelanticskier]

helmets are fucking ghey. helmets worn improperly are even ghey'r. gogs worn for any other reason than for 2" an hour storm skiing? FUCKING TRIPLE GHEY!!!

can't really offer up much ski criticism after only seeing him ski away from a lift on flat trail at low speed. get some better footy of him, TGR!

rog

[userA]

wonder if spyder co. got paid for the jacket.
he should be in arcterx though if he wants to be a mag.
b

[icelanticskier]

wonder if spyder co. got paid for the jacket.
he should be in arcterx though if he wants to be a mag.
b

and a variant brim and kincos!

rog

[spook]

what's that got to do with skiing and ski related unimaginative shit. stop with the thread drift.
b

it's what happens when you critique putin

[ripvanwinter]

First time I've seen that fag wear a shirt...

[Ducky]

With all the billions that have been siphoned off you would think they could have found a high def camera and someone who knew how to operate it. I guess he has great style seeing that it looks like it was filmed in 1976.

[Mr.KnowItAll]

helmets are fucking ghey. gogs worn for any other reason than for 2" an hour storm skiing?

rog

Anyone else catch this gem?

Rog, I bet you have a ski outfit that allows you to show off your chest hair. so funny.