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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
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    YetiMan
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    Meanwhile in Michigan...

    I don't look or act like a skier anymore, I'm a big fat unathletic truck-driver-looking pile...nobody would know I was a skier unless they knew me from years ago. Today my new coworker took the opportunity to tell me all about how he's a spancered rider because he gets pro-form, makes $20/hr giving lessons, and that the ski hill here (in Michigan) is way too steep and difficult to teach beginners. The clincher was his dutiful explanation of the key difficulty here: our tricky "double fall line."

    Although I did stumble a bit by mentioning that the entire ski area here is smaller and flatter than the beginner areas in most of the west, I did a pretty good job of not saying anything about my skiing past.

    If only I were a spancered rider myself, I would have had dual Go-Pros running, so that I could share this conversation with you all.

    How should I approach this situation? Should I sign up for a lesson and show up in blue jeans with some 220s and a fifth of whiskey? Should I beg him to pro-form me some snowblades? Should I engage him in a detailed, technical PSIA-style grilling about the relative merits of Pizza vs. French fries? Tall tee vs Urban Camo? WWMD?
    Last edited by ill-advised strategy; 12-02-2013 at 07:39 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
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    none
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    6,267
    Dude, snap out of it, put some skis on and ski. Yes, the hills suck, but putting a pair of SL's on and making a lot of turns will help!
    I have a pair of race stock SL's with demo's, I'll give you if you ever roll thru Chicago?

  3. #3
    WestCoastPDR Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by YetiMan View Post
    How should I approach this situation? Should I sign up for a lesson and show up in blue jeans with some 220s and a fifth of whiskey?:
    This....

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    4,512
    Quote Originally Posted by EastCoastPDR View Post
    This....
    Agreed, go from falling down beginner to expert in one lesson. Be incredibly impressed by his spancered pro-form teaching ability. Or course make sure to record the day, preferably POV. Report back.
    Aim for the chopping block. If you aim for the wood, you will have nothing. Aim past the wood, aim through the wood.
    http://tim-kirchoff.pixels.com/

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    7,176
    ski with this guy and tell him (nicely) that he isn't a very good skier. boy will that fuck with his head. psia folk hate hearing that shit

    rog

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
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    TCMI
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    689
    Ask him to watch Aspen Extreme and report back.

  7. #7
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    Jan 2009
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    tourin BC
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    jeans and camo hunting jacket strait skis
    surely you can make up some stupid things to say

    pov that shit and I'm sure we'll all get a good chuckle ...
    We, the RATBAGGERS, formally axcept our duty is to trigger avalaches on all skiers ...

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
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    mouth of BCC
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    1,406
    Go skiing with him Jer. 5th of whiskey, 220's and jeans. then at the bar later pre plan a bunch of hot cocktail waitresses oozing all over you the kid from the midwest that skied out west and has moved back. he'll get the point.
    POWDER SKIER
    COLD RAIN and SNOW

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
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    1,556
    See if he's ever skied the back bowls, you got to be really good to ski there.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
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    YetiMan
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    Aha yes the backbowlz....i will ask about them.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    320
    Take him to Bohemia and lose him in the trees. Let the yoopers deal with him then.

    Or show up on some pow skis and here every lift ride how you're on water skis. Instructors and patrol in Michigan used to drive me bonkers.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
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    Ootarded
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    Quote Originally Posted by YetiMan View Post
    If only I were a spancered rider myself, I would have had dual Go-Pros running, so that I could share this conversation with you all.

    How should I approach this situation? Should I sign up for a lesson and show up in blue jeans with some 220s and a fifth of whiskey? Should I beg him to pro-form me some snowblades? Should I engage him in a detailed, technical PSIA-style grilling about the relative merits of Pizza vs. French fries? Tall tee vs Urban Camo? WWMD?
    Love the concept. Show up for private lessons in Lions Starter jacket and jeans, hipflask with JD, and the 220s. During discussion as you're "learning" how to ski, ask if you french fry when you should pizza, if you're gonna have a baaaad time. Tell him you got the 220s at a yard sale and need to go shorter, ask about snowlerblades and a pro-form deal. Last run of the day kick his ass on that "tricky double fall line". Bring Go-Pro to document it all. Hardest part will be playing it straight.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
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    YetiMan
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    Quote Originally Posted by Snowy Spartan View Post
    Instructors and patrol in Michigan used to drive me bonkers.
    I don't think he works for the hill, he's a private instructor, instructor for money, any old groomer will do.


  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    General Sherman's Favorite City
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    18,073
    I like where you're going with this. On top of getting Jer to join you, jeans, 220s, pint of Old Grand Dad, oil-stained Lions Starter jacket. . . I'd make one small change. Show up with a GoPro on a helmet, but make it a used hockey helmet or full-facemask Motocross helmet. . . with nothing but copious amounts of duct tape holding the GoPro on.

    And of course ask him repeatedly if the red light is blinking.
    I still call it The Jake.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    Vinyl Valley
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    Have him pay for beers and bluegill appetizers at Mt Shasta in Michigamme since he's making so much money teaching. Then sign up for a lesson and bring some snowerblades.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
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    I am so down for this that I am willing to pitch in for those exquisite private lessons. Somebody lend YetiMan their GoPro fer chrissakes. I soo would, but I'm not rad enough to own one. Post up the vid for our TGR Interwebz viewing pleasure.

    It has the potential for a TGR HOF post.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    General Sherman's Favorite City
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    Do you own rear entry boots? You could show up at work one day with them on, raving about the walk-ability of them when not on snow and how you wore them so you could head straight to the slopes after work.

    You should be able to capture that gold on a web-cam.
    I still call it The Jake.

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    the Can-Utardia / LMCC VT
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    11,006
    Run into him on the hill and ask for a couple pointers from such an accomplished skier. ski Top to bottom in absolute out of control french fries, head towards trees at bottom, hockey stop at the last second. Ask for his advice
    Quote Originally Posted by Hohes View Post
    I couldn't give a fuck, but today I am procrastinating so TGR is my filler.
    Quote Originally Posted by skifishbum View Post
    faceshots are a powerful currency
    get paid

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
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    YetiMan
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  20. #20
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    At the beach
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    Quote Originally Posted by YetiMan View Post
    good god. what have I started.
    Hey, I like it. Lots of great suggestions. Just do it!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by leroy jenkins View Post
    I think you'd have an easier time understanding people if you remembered that 80% of them are fucking morons.
    That is why I like dogs, more than most people.

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
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    mouth of BCC
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    1,406
    everybody.....it's an old school ski off
    POWDER SKIER
    COLD RAIN and SNOW

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    3,455
    dam!!! tina looks great with her mouth open!!!!!!!! hold still baby i got some reps!!!!

  23. #23
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    Dec 2009
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    7,176
    pm skifishbum for pointers. he's a Michigan-Wasatch tranny. couldn't hang in Michigan and his skiing shows. maybe this guy can teach dibbs about the food that all kids love.

    rog

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Denver
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    How much of a tool is this coworker beyond the toolery likely displayed by him pronouncing that he is spancered? I'm curious to hear how this pans out.

  25. #25
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    Nov 2004
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    YetiMan
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfelot View Post
    How much of a tool is this coworker beyond the toolery likely displayed by him pronouncing that he is spancered? I'm curious to hear how this pans out.
    I don't really know, he's brand new. I'm probably not going to do anything...I really like my job and it's kind of important that I not be a douche.

    I'm not ruling anything out though.

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