Meanwhile in Michigan...

[ill-advised strategy]

I don't look or act like a skier anymore, I'm a big fat unathletic truck-driver-looking pile...nobody would know I was a skier unless they knew me from years ago. Today my new coworker took the opportunity to tell me all about how he's a spancered rider because he gets pro-form, makes $20/hr giving lessons, and that the ski hill here (in Michigan) is way too steep and difficult to teach beginners. The clincher was his dutiful explanation of the key difficulty here: our tricky "double fall line."

Although I did stumble a bit by mentioning that the entire ski area here is smaller and flatter than the beginner areas in most of the west, I did a pretty good job of not saying anything about my skiing past.

If only I were a spancered rider myself, I would have had dual Go-Pros running, so that I could share this conversation with you all.

How should I approach this situation? Should I sign up for a lesson and show up in blue jeans with some 220s and a fifth of whiskey? Should I beg him to pro-form me some snowblades? Should I engage him in a detailed, technical PSIA-style grilling about the relative merits of Pizza vs. French fries? Tall tee vs Urban Camo? WWMD?

[Shredhead]

Dude, snap out of it, put some skis on and ski. Yes, the hills suck, but putting a pair of SL's on and making a lot of turns will help!
I have a pair of race stock SL's with demo's, I'll give you if you ever roll thru Chicago?

[WestCoastPDR]

How should I approach this situation? Should I sign up for a lesson and show up in blue jeans with some 220s and a fifth of whiskey?:

This....

[From_the_NEK]

This....

Agreed, go from falling down beginner to expert in one lesson. Be incredibly impressed by his spancered pro-form teaching ability. Or course make sure to record the day, preferably POV. Report back.

[icelanticskier]

ski with this guy and tell him (nicely) that he isn't a very good skier. boy will that fuck with his head. psia folk hate hearing that shit

rog

[Blizzard7763]

Ask him to watch Aspen Extreme and report back.

[Shadam]

jeans and camo hunting jacket strait skis
surely you can make up some stupid things to say

pov that shit and I'm sure we'll all get a good chuckle ...

[F#*k you cat]

Go skiing with him Jer. 5th of whiskey, 220's and jeans. then at the bar later pre plan a bunch of hot cocktail waitresses oozing all over you the kid from the midwest that skied out west and has moved back. he'll get the point.

[Skistack]

See if he's ever skied the back bowls, you got to be really good to ski there.

[ill-advised strategy]

Aha yes the backbowlz....i will ask about them.

[Snowy Spartan]

Take him to Bohemia and lose him in the trees. Let the yoopers deal with him then.

Or show up on some pow skis and here every lift ride how you're on water skis. Instructors and patrol in Michigan used to drive me bonkers.

[Tri-Ungulate]

If only I were a spancered rider myself, I would have had dual Go-Pros running, so that I could share this conversation with you all.

How should I approach this situation? Should I sign up for a lesson and show up in blue jeans with some 220s and a fifth of whiskey? Should I beg him to pro-form me some snowblades? Should I engage him in a detailed, technical PSIA-style grilling about the relative merits of Pizza vs. French fries? Tall tee vs Urban Camo? WWMD?

Love the concept. Show up for private lessons in Lions Starter jacket and jeans, hipflask with JD, and the 220s. During discussion as you're "learning" how to ski, ask if you french fry when you should pizza, if you're gonna have a baaaad time. Tell him you got the 220s at a yard sale and need to go shorter, ask about snowlerblades and a pro-form deal. Last run of the day kick his ass on that "tricky double fall line". Bring Go-Pro to document it all. Hardest part will be playing it straight.

[ill-advised strategy]

Instructors and patrol in Michigan used to drive me bonkers.

I don't think he works for the hill, he's a private instructor, instructor for money, any old groomer will do.

[BmillsSkier]

I like where you're going with this. On top of getting Jer to join you, jeans, 220s, pint of Old Grand Dad, oil-stained Lions Starter jacket. . . I'd make one small change. Show up with a GoPro on a helmet, but make it a used hockey helmet or full-facemask Motocross helmet. . . with nothing but copious amounts of duct tape holding the GoPro on.

And of course ask him repeatedly if the red light is blinking.

[skuff]

Have him pay for beers and bluegill appetizers at Mt Shasta in Michigamme since he's making so much money teaching. Then sign up for a lesson and bring some snowerblades.

[Tri-Ungulate]

I am so down for this that I am willing to pitch in for those exquisite private lessons. Somebody lend YetiMan their GoPro fer chrissakes. I soo would, but I'm not rad enough to own one. Post up the vid for our TGR Interwebz viewing pleasure.

It has the potential for a TGR HOF post.

[BmillsSkier]

Do you own rear entry boots? You could show up at work one day with them on, raving about the walk-ability of them when not on snow and how you wore them so you could head straight to the slopes after work.

You should be able to capture that gold on a web-cam.

[My Pet Powder Goat]

Run into him on the hill and ask for a couple pointers from such an accomplished skier. ski Top to bottom in absolute out of control french fries, head towards trees at bottom, hockey stop at the last second. Ask for his advice

[ill-advised strategy]

good god. what have I started.

[liv2ski]

good god. what have I started.

Hey, I like it. Lots of great suggestions. Just do it!!!

[F#*k you cat]

everybody.....it's an old school ski off

[Slaag Master]

dam!!! tina looks great with her mouth open!!!!!!!! hold still baby i got some reps!!!!

[icelanticskier]

pm skifishbum for pointers. he's a Michigan-Wasatch tranny. couldn't hang in Michigan and his skiing shows. maybe this guy can teach dibbs about the food that all kids love.

rog

[wolfelot]

How much of a tool is this coworker beyond the toolery likely displayed by him pronouncing that he is spancered? I'm curious to hear how this pans out.

[ill-advised strategy]

How much of a tool is this coworker beyond the toolery likely displayed by him pronouncing that he is spancered? I'm curious to hear how this pans out.

I don't really know, he's brand new. I'm probably not going to do anything...I really like my job and it's kind of important that I not be a douche.

I'm not ruling anything out though.