Coaching young kids sports teams

**flyman683** · 04-11-2014, 07:35 PM

Originally Posted by MMP

thanks, happy to answer questions. I field lots of them at our kids games.

Questions like "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WATCHING OUT THERE?!" while a clipboard smashes to pieces on the ground?

Being a ref is hard, not that I'm letting bad ones off the hook, but it's something I have intentionally stayed away from.

**MMP** · 04-11-2014, 08:11 PM

I work with some sorry officials, I'm sorry to say.

Another thing that sucks is when you're reaching for your flag and the coach screams the call you're about to make. Makes it look like we're responding to them. Chirp chirp chirp. Relentless, some of them.

**Tippster** · 04-11-2014, 08:38 PM

Originally Posted by MMP

As for warning a player a kid screaming goddamnit at his teammates, to me the part that was unsportsmanlike was directing it at his players who werent in position to retain the ball after the shot. Them? You're the guy whose shot tried to snipe a corner and sailed north of the net.

You didn't include that in your first post on the subject. Yelling "Goddammit" at yourself or the Universe is OK in my book, but no player should yell curses at a teammate. IMHO that is not cool - it's a team sport, not Professional Basketball which is an Individual sport these days. It's absolutely up to the refs to help maintain the soul of the sport.

**shafty85** · 04-11-2014, 08:57 PM

I've always taken the stance that if the profanity isn't directed at anyone and not overly loud, it's not my responsibility to teach the kid how to behave - I'm there to ref, not to parent.

**Tippster** · 04-11-2014, 09:43 PM

Originally Posted by shafty85

I've always taken the stance that if the profanity isn't directed at anyone and not overly loud, it's not my responsibility to teach the kid how to behave - I'm there to ref, not to parent.

But if it is directed at his teammates? Aren't you as a ref one of the moral arbiters of the sport? Technical fouls exist for a reason.

**shafty85** · 04-11-2014, 10:44 PM

Originally Posted by Tippster

But if it is directed at his teammates? Aren't you as a ref one of the moral arbiters of the sport? Technical fouls exist for a reason.

Well, I ref soccer, so no technical fouls. That being said, I think 'anyone' includes teammates. I am a little more lenient when it occurs between teammates because often players are ignorant of the rules because other refs often let it go. A quick warning often puts an end to it. If not, I deal with it accordingly and things shape up pretty quickly (either the player gets it or the coach knows he won't and subs him out).

**MMP** · 04-12-2014, 06:50 AM

If at the time it seems like unsportsmanlike conduct, call it. I can't stand kids that turn on their teammates. I typically start with a conduct penalty -a 30 second technical or loss of possession and then move on to USC.

**shafty85** · 04-12-2014, 12:04 PM

Originally Posted by MMP

If at the time it seems like unsportsmanlike conduct, call it. I can't stand kids that turn on their teammates. I typically start with a conduct penalty -a 30 second technical or loss of possession and then move on to USC.

I have absolutely no idea what sport you're referring to with those penalties...

**MMP** · 04-12-2014, 04:19 PM

Lacrosse

If you commit a technical when in possession of the ball you lose the ball

Commit it when the other team has the ball it's a 30 second time serving technical.

Conduct is a technical foul and results in a loss of ball or 30 sec man down

Unsportsmanlike is a Personal foul 1-3 minutes. Nonreleasable.

If you cared.

**guide** · 04-13-2014, 09:18 AM

Originally Posted by Stu Gotz

Quick question about parents - is the super knowledgeable parent or the totally ignorant parent more likely to be the trouble maker? Thoughts? Thanks.

I've been umping baseball now for 21 consecutive seasons. The last 8 at the HS and Jr college level. IME it's the parent with a little knowledge that is the worst. The coaches with the loudest mouths that set bad examples for their players get the shortest ropes from me. But yet last summer was the first time I've ever ejected a coach in 20 years. I was upset after the game because I was proud of the fact that after all the sh*t I've listened to over the years I'd never had to throw out a coach. This guy was in over his head, young twenty something that thought he was going to be cool and show his team what a tough guy he was. Wrong. He looked like an ass.

And I've only ejected two players. First one was kinda funny. 12 year old many years ago. I called him out at first and as he ran back past me he looked at me and yelled, "are you fucking kidding me!?" I couldn't quite believe it at first, kinda chuckled to myself and then called time. Took the lineup card out and walked over to his coach and very quietly said to the coach, "Little Jimmy is out, who are you sending in for him?" Coach asks why, I tell him, he gives me the substitute, I enter onto the card and calmly walk back to my position. No one in the stands has a clue and it saves everyone embarrassment.

**wooley12** · 04-15-2014, 09:34 AM

**FussyDutchman** · 04-15-2014, 10:11 AM

Well played Guide, no point in embarrassing the kid on the field and hopefully, the lesson was learned with a little help from the coach and the parents later. I coach my daughters middle school soccer team and have coached youth soccer (boys and girls) for many years and had a similar, albeit milder issue a few seasons ago where 2 girls got into a full on pushing match behind the play that went unnoticed by the refs. I pulled my girl at the next stoppage and quietly explained to her away from the others that if that happened again she would sit out the next game. I haven't ever had to mention it to her again since.

wooley - I am having our school duplicate that sign for the fall season, says it all!

**1080Rider** · 04-15-2014, 11:09 AM

Nice to hear from coaches and refs that sportsmanship is the top priority. I played soccer at a pretty high level and I was an asshole, borderline dirty. I learned my lesson and don't put up w/ that shit from my players. I want them to play hard but intentional fouls will get them pulled and a talking too, whether or not it's caught by the ref.

I'm lucky to not have had to deal w/ a crazy parent that was loud and/or out of hand. That's saying something 'cause I've been coaching for about 15 years now...

**booner** · 04-15-2014, 03:54 PM

I coach hockey 4 days a week from September to April and was just asked to coach my son's lax team...season starts in a week and they are without a coach.

I had to say no. I kinda feel bad, but there's no fucking way I'm coaching 10-11 months out of the year.

**TBS** · 04-16-2014, 12:11 AM

Great sign Wooley. Should also say "Your kid is more likely to get hit by a meteor than make the big leagues".

I recently heard an old Car Talk episode where they got on a rant about Little League. Their position - no league, administrators, coaches, parent helpers, umpires, etc - just throw some bats, balls, gloves, etc. on the field. Let the kids make up the rules, pick the teams and call the pitches/plays. This'll teach them imagination and cooperation as well as get exercise and have fun.

Parents can show up only if their kid gets severely injured - compound fracture, unconscious for more than 15 minutes or arterial bleeding.

**MMP** · 04-16-2014, 09:54 AM

Originally Posted by telebobski

Great sign Wooley. Should also say "Your kid is more likely to get hit by a meteor than make the big leagues".

I recently heard an old Car Talk episode where they got on a rant about Little League. Their position - no league, administrators, coaches, parent helpers, umpires, etc - just throw some bats, balls, gloves, etc. on the field. Let the kids make up the rules, pick the teams and call the pitches/plays. This'll teach them imagination and cooperation as well as get exercise and have fun.

Parents can show up only if their kid gets severely injured - compound fracture, unconscious for more than 15 minutes or arterial bleeding.

my oldest son played ultimate in high school. no coach, refs, input from parents. problems? zero.

**Timberridge** · 04-16-2014, 10:09 AM

Originally Posted by booner

I coach hockey 4 days a week from September to April and was just asked to coach my son's lax team...season starts in a week and they are without a coach.

I had to say no. I kinda feel bad, but there's no fucking way I'm coaching 10-11 months out of the year.

Whenever I'm asked, I say "I'd love to, but ever since the incident at ToysRUs the court has forbidden me from having contact with kids."

**1080Rider** · 04-16-2014, 10:15 AM

Originally Posted by booner

I coach hockey 4 days a week from September to April and was just asked to coach my son's lax team...season starts in a week and they are without a coach.

I had to say no. I kinda feel bad, but there's no fucking way I'm coaching 10-11 months out of the year.

That's pretty much what soccer is around here. I tell parents I won't coach year-round and that "kids need to be kids" so they shouldn't be playing year-round either. If the LOVE the sport and can't get enough, great, there are avenues for them to play, but structured practices and games year-round are a recipe for burnout at a young age (14-17ish).

**booner** · 06-14-2014, 02:51 PM

We moved from a small school district with a relatively new lax program to a bigger school with one of the top programs in western NY...half of hs team goes div 1 and the rest play at top div 3 schools.

My son is 7...his coaches are all douchebags. Well, two out of 12 are cool but they are just helpers and not vocal at all. These losers talk down to kids, bench kids, tell kids to get up when they're hurt, so much favoritism it's disgusting. Did I mention they're 7?

I hate these fucking losers with a passion and can't wait for the season to be over. Good news is they'll probably coach my kid all the way up.

Sent from one of those fancy cellular telephones

**wooley12** · 06-14-2014, 08:59 PM

School colors white, blue and red with a canal in town?

**booner** · 06-15-2014, 05:33 AM

Originally Posted by wooley12

School colors white, blue and red with a canal in town?

You're very warm. We actually played against Fairport at their tourney yesterday.
I'll give a hint... On a Finger Lake... Not Penn Yan

That tourney was MILFY ground zero

Sent from one of those fancy cellular telephones

**MMP** · 06-15-2014, 06:36 AM

Originally Posted by booner

My son is 7...his coaches are all douchebags.......These losers talk down to kids, bench kids, tell kids to get up when they're hurt, so much favoritism it's disgusting. Did I mention they're 7?

I hate these fucking losers with a passion and can't wait for the season to be over. Good news is they'll probably coach my kid all the way up.

Sent from one of those fancy cellular telephones

pathetic. you wouldn't believe the shit that comes out of coaches mouths. As a ref I want to stop the game and tell them to shut the fuck up and remember they're coaching children.

I consider my high school kid(s) to be children as well. we have a great coach luckily, but he will most likely leave after this year. It's a great game but unfortunately filled with assholes and people that have no idea what the game is about or the rules.

**DBdude** · 06-18-2014, 08:23 AM

Originally Posted by booner

You're very warm. We actually played against Fairport at their tourney yesterday.
I'll give a hint... On a Finger Lake... Not Penn Yan

That tourney was MILFY ground zero

Sent from one of those fancy cellular telephones

the lakers?

**Timberridge** · 06-18-2014, 08:38 AM

Originally Posted by booner

My son is 7...his coaches are all douchebags. Well, two out of 12 are cool but they are just helpers and not vocal at all. These losers talk down to kids, bench kids, tell kids to get up when they're hurt, so much favoritism it's disgusting. Did I mention they're 7?

I hate these fucking losers with a passion and can't wait for the season to be over. Good news is they'll probably coach my kid all the way up.

You should move to the reservation. Reconnect with the spiritual side of the sport.

---------

Lacrosse is not only a sport, but originally was played as a spiritual endeavour, meant to give thanks and praises to the gods, a tradition which the Iroquois Nationals lacrosse team follows to this day.

The original version of the game was played with possibly hundreds of players at a time on a field that could range up to a mile in length and would continue for days. Given the number of players, and the physicality lacrosse demands, it is with good reason that the Eastern Cherokee name for the sport roughly translates to “little war.” The game, however, has little to do with inspiring aggression. “We play this game to give enjoyment to the Creator,” clarified Ansley Jemison, general manager of the Iroquois Nationals. Before the game, the team gathers around their spiritual advisor who leads a traditional tobacco-burning rite, among other rituals that prepare the players to take the field.

**booner** · 06-18-2014, 09:08 AM

Originally Posted by Timberridge

You should move to the reservation. Reconnect with the spiritual side of the sport.

---------

Lacrosse is not only a sport, but originally was played as a spiritual endeavour, meant to give thanks and praises to the gods, a tradition which the Iroquois Nationals lacrosse team follows to this day.

The original version of the game was played with possibly hundreds of players at a time on a field that could range up to a mile in length and would continue for days. Given the number of players, and the physicality lacrosse demands, it is with good reason that the Eastern Cherokee name for the sport roughly translates to “little war.” The game, however, has little to do with inspiring aggression. “We play this game to give enjoyment to the Creator,” clarified Ansley Jemison, general manager of the Iroquois Nationals. Before the game, the team gathers around their spiritual advisor who leads a traditional tobacco-burning rite, among other rituals that prepare the players to take the field.

I know Ansley. We went to the same HS...he was a class behind me. Great guy.