Confirmed Bachelors

[DeathVan]

What's the deal?

I've met a few, many of them skiers or fishing bums.
Good dudes with interesting lives, but all a bit off in one way or another.
-some, however, have been pretty serious losers (I actually have my shit together...for the most part)

I'm wondering because my last couple relationships have gotten me thinking that this may be the way to go.
For reference: I have no kids and I'm not motivated to change that

Any insights?
Pros / Cons?

[PassTheDutchie]

[misogyny]Cons: who's going to take care of the cooking, the cleaning and the laundry?[/misogyny]

Signed,

Happily Married Dude* Who Does His Share of the Cooking, Cleaning & Laundry


*childless

[Hugh Conway]

that used to be a codeword for "gay"

[that dude who did that thing]

Do what makes you happy. I like the stability of my marriage, knowing there's always someone there to help me carry life's load. I completely dig my kids. ON the other hand, I won't deny being occasionally jealous of my friends who are having casual sex with hot, younger women, and can take off every weekend for a music festival or to go skiing/biking/climbing/etc. It's just a series of trade-offs.

[Tuckerman]

Do what makes you happy. I like the stability of my marriage, knowing there's always someone there to help me carry life's load. I completely dig my kids. ON the other hand, I won't deny being occasionally jealous of my friends who are having casual sex with hot, younger women, and can take off every weekend for a music festival or to go skiing/biking/climbing/etc. It's just a series of trade-offs.

FTW, Im with you man. I can't understand how my late 30 y/o, early 40 y/o friends are banging coeds.

[Timberridge]

Depends on how old you are.

If you're 30, 20-25 year olds are fun to bang but are pretty annoying to talk to. Between 30-45, most of the good women are taken, and you are left with castaways and lesbians, so you might as well stay single. Things start to work back into your favor after 55 when the first husbands start to die of heart attacks and I understand if you make it to 75, it turns into a grey haired version of a stud farm.

[Tippster]

One of my best friends is a professional bachelor living in Tahoe City. He is a SUP instructor in the summer and Alpine Meadows ski instructor in the winter. He is my age (47) and has never had a dry spell afaik. He tells me that sure - the 20somethings might be more fit and easier to look at, but talking to them is painful.

His go-to bracket is 35-45yo divorcees: they know how to have a conversation, eat and drink the adult foodstuffs HE likes, know what THEY like in bed and aren't afraid to tell you. Unlike the 35-45yo career-woman bachelorettes, the divorcees also aren't mainly husband-shopping, which according to him is annoying as hell. He had one woman on a blind date ask him if he would consider marrying her. "Not likely" was his answer, which went over as expected.

Seems there are plenty in this country. He has a pretty large nest egg tho from his previous career in the magazine industry, so not quite living like your stereotypical ski/lake bum.

[Skidog]

Do what makes you happy. I like the stability of my marriage, knowing there's always someone there to help me carry life's load. I completely dig my kids. ON the other hand, I won't deny being occasionally jealous of my friends who are having casual sex with hot, younger women, and can take off every weekend for a music festival or to go skiing/biking/climbing/etc. It's just a series of trade-offs.

X2.......

[SkiCougar]

lots of guys have just decided screw it- 50% divorce rate asnd 50% of everything you earned gone, seeing the kids today as disfunctional and disrespecting, women less like mom was and women give it up so easy; why go thru the hassle.

you can blamce whatever you want, but your parents got a divorce and your mom was still living off your dad, bad mouthed him and dad became a pushover because mom used the kids as leverage anytime she needed; you probably would think twice before deciding to go thru that.

[bklyn]

Is it the be all end all goal to be paired off at all costs? Even to someone ill suited to you?

That's an old fashioned notion we need to let go of. Single does not equal defective and we all know some fucked up married people.

I'm happy I met my life buddy and there are great advantages to having a special guy in my life. However I'd rather be single than joined this closely to the wrong match.

Better to have fun with interesting, sexy people and leave 'commitment for the sake of appearances' out of the equation.

[systemoverblow'd]

I have absolutely zero want to have kids or get married. I can see maybe settling down with someone eventually, maybe. But even if I do, it isn't going to be a traditional legal thing. I have seen too many people torn down by financially linking their well-being to someone else.

[hortence]

As a 50 year old, lifelong serial monogamist in the middle of his second divorce I have absolutely no fucking clue. Please let me know if you figure anything out.

Can't say anything about coeds, but can confirm that 26 year old women are annoying to talk to, but fun in many other ways.


Edit to add: That said, I do know a lot of people who refer to their spouses with a high level of contempt. I've seen married couples put up with enormous amounts of shit from their loved ones. Marriage as an institution, as a cornerstone of society; evolved when people typically died in their 30s. It is much harder to see it as very relevant to today's conditions.

But of course YM will always V.

[assman]

I'm 35 and I am sure a good many people would describe me as a permanent bachelor. I don't really see myself that way. Yes I do seem to go through a lot of women but at some point if it gets boring I will marry. So far though...no boredom

I like dating women in their mid 20's to around 34. I have made a few exceptions in both directions.

[HansJob]

Half your pension, alimony, and life insurance on yourself till age 75. No kids. Give it a try.

[AK47bp]

Just when your content and happy with being a bachelor some broad will come and mess it all up, before you know it your making your bed and putting the toilet seat down wondering what the fuck happened.

Going through this ^ right now. The grass is always greener so I just smoke a ton if it so I think less.

[Diamond Joe]

Women suck

its good and bad

(36, married)

[Meadow Skipper]

...sure - the 20somethings might be more fit and easier to look at, but talking to them is painful.

OTOH, their stories are a lot shorter. You can't just dismiss that.

[splat]

"Like international travel, skiing, long L trips and der poopenhausen on occasion."

If they smile, they're worth a try.

[Art Shirk]

I have absolutely zero want to have kids or get married. I can see maybe settling down with someone eventually, maybe. But even if I do, it isn't going to be a traditional legal thing. I have seen too many people torn down by financially linking their well-being to someone else.

Why is everyone here assuming that they would be the one with the "most money" in the relationship? Hell, you could make out like a bandit.




George: Well I put a lot of thought into this and I think I would like you to sign a prenuptual agreement.

Susan: A pre-nup?

George: Yeah.

Susan: (burst out laughing)

George: What's so funny?

Susan: Ha.Ha.Ha. ha...You don't have any money. I make more money than you do. ha. ha. ha.

Yeah.. give me the papers I'll sign 'em. a pre-nup...

[Dee Hubbs]

Jesus was single? he did okay for himself.... didn't he?

[Chainsaw_Willie]

What's the deal?

...
Good dudes with interesting lives, but all a bit off in one way or another.
...

I think this pretty much describes me. At 45 I've pretty much given up on the idea of finding a best friend who appreciates me for who I am and shares my goals and interests, and who I'm interested in as well. I've never had much game so not banging coeds either. whatever, I have a good circle of friends, a reasonably active life and it's only occasionally I think of myself as lonely.

[AdironRider]

The grass is indeed always greener.

Ive got a good thing being married. Dual incomes, no kids, she rips on skis and scores me a free ski pass and pussy on tap, and it doesn't cost anything, or at least not nearly as much these days.

I do not miss having to wine and dine for maybe a 50% close rate. That shit was expensive.

Although my uncle got hosed in divorce and I think he plays it the right way these days. Does whatever the fuck he wants 50 weeks of the year and not spending a cent on pussy, then goes to Nevada for a week or two and tries to die as the meat in a hooker sandwich. I have to say, the math looks better even with the pricier broads.

[rmnpsplitter]

Lots of interesting perspectives in this thread. My thoughts (disclaimer: late 20's, married and no kids) are that no matter how close of a match you might have with someone there will always be things that you will argue about. Some people can work through those things and some can't. I wouldn't trade my situation for being single again. We have a good thing going with our lifestyle, dual income, activities, etc.. The main thing is having that one person that you can share anything with, lean on for support and just go through life with. Did I find the perfect person? Who knows. I like to think I did. I guess only time will really tell if we are together still in another 50 years. I also find myself thinking about my other friends that have no commitments to anyone or anyplace and I truly don't think I would trade what I have for that life.

[neufox47]

Whatever you do, don't get divorced. You can't afford it.

[systemoverblow'd]

Why is everyone here assuming that they would be the one with the "most money" in the relationship? Hell, you could make out like a bandit.

Because chicks that make more than I do certainly wouldn't settle on me.