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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    15

    Wink WWMD? I Ran Over My Girlfriends Grandma

    So long story short. I've had this girlfriend for a few days. Life is good. Sex is great. We made a website for our tapes called goatse.cx. It's awesome.

    So my lady invites me to dinner with her family. I'm confused as I don't really come off as the perfect gentleman but, being that she is my girlfriend and I don't want to piss her off I say sure. What the hell.

    I get drunk as fuck and tell bad stories that people seem to like. After dinner she and I go out to the bus to get freaky. Right in the middle of everything my foot does this spastic jerk and knocks the shifter to neutral. No big deal. Unfortunately though, grandma came out of the house and was walking behind the van when it went to neutral. As it rolled down the driveway we heard a thud and a scream.

    Girl jumps off me naked and runs out of the van screaming. Grandma is lying on the driveway in pain. I'm naked, mi chica is naked. Her dad is pissed as hell both because I hit his mom and I was hitting his daughter at his house. After getting some clothes on I try to do good but can't really make the situation better, so I get in my car drunk and GTFO on my Paul Newman/ Cool Hand Luke grind.

    So my girlfriend is now pretty upset as Grandma's hip is broken and wants me to help cover medical cost because her insurance isn't great. I understand her wanting me to do this, but I feel like it is as much her fault as mine. I mean, we were both going at it, so I feel like we should split the medical cost to get grandma a new hip. And on the flip side, Grandma left a small dent in my van when I hit her and she hasn't even offered to pay for fixing it.

    What should I do?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    265
    Nothing says "I'm sorry" like fisting. So shave off your palm hair, grab a bottle of astroglide, and shove a hand in the old lady's snatch. Hell, you could line up the family and give 'em all a work-up.

    If you need any tips on it, I think Benny's becoming a pro.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    5,743
    PM Ernest Hemingway, he's sure to have a similar experience

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Denver, CO
    Posts
    4,342
    Quote Originally Posted by MMP View Post
    PM Ernest Hemingway, he's sure to have a similar experience
    Hemingway over did it at lunch (Chili's of all places). That long winded window-licker will be laid out for at least a few more hours holding his belly and groaning.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    At the beach
    Posts
    11,512
    Thanks, this thread made me laugh. Face it, time to move on, as you have pretty much scorched the earth with this girl and her family. Lucky for you, your young and there are lots of fish in the sea.
    Quote Originally Posted by leroy jenkins View Post
    I think you'd have an easier time understanding people if you remembered that 80% of them are fucking morons.
    That is why I like dogs, more than most people.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Suckramento
    Posts
    19,236
    Are you a reindeer?
    Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
    Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
    Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.


  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Down the valley a bit further on the good side of the 49th
    Posts
    4,347
    Well at least the spam efforts are getting entertaining and creative.
    It's not so much the model year, it's the high mileage or meterage to keep the youth of Canada happy

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    28,867
    C'mon. At least cough up the nude pics of grandma in a body cast, for christsakes.
    At this point, you're gonna have to let dad have his way with you if you want some leverage.

  9. #9
    Gman's Avatar
    Gman is offline Mack Master William Large
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Beantown
    Posts
    1,926
    this is what happens when you hit it switch....to grandma

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