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Thread: Best ski jokes
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04-08-2013, 01:24 PM #1
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Best ski jokes
Post your best ski related jokes. i will start. How many ski bums does it take to screw in a lightbulb? non ski bums dont screw in lightbulbs, they screw in hot tubs
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04-08-2013, 01:35 PM #2
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How many ski coaches does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Seven. One to screw it in and six to say "nice turns!"
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04-08-2013, 02:44 PM #3
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How far does the backcountry go?
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04-08-2013, 03:59 PM #4
Bearded Sweater Model
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What's the difference between a tele chick and a hockey player?
Hockey player takes a shower after three periods.
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04-08-2013, 04:09 PM #5
Drops in Heavy
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^^^^Zing!
Ski town girls are like good parking spaces: They are all either taken or handicapped.
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04-08-2013, 04:41 PM #6
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You don't get dumped by a chick in a ski town. You just lose your turn.
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04-08-2013, 04:43 PM #7
Crushing It
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What is the difference between a ski instructor and God?
God doesn't think he is a ski instructor.
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04-08-2013, 04:45 PM #8
Crushing It
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How do you get a snowboarder off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
one more that is not ski related, but is my go to when the lifties put up the sign that says "We're bored. Tell us a joke"
Why did Ken and Barbie never have kids?
Because ken comes in a different box.
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04-08-2013, 04:58 PM #9
neophyte
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What do you call a ski patroler in a suit?
A defendant."In the end, these things matter most: how well did you love? How fully did you live? How deeply did you let go?" - Buddha
"Come back alive, come back as friends, get to the top-in that order." -Mark Twight
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04-08-2013, 04:59 PM #10
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the bliss brothers are chillin in the backseat. who is driving? the sheriff!!!!!
what do you call the bliss brothers in dress suits? the defendants!!!!
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04-08-2013, 08:41 PM #11
trenchman
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snoboarding is not skiing
.
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04-08-2013, 08:59 PM #12
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How does a snowboarder introduce himself? ... Sorry dude.
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04-08-2013, 09:02 PM #13
Dungeon Master
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a pair a ball lickers
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04-09-2013, 05:49 AM #14
Cham-wow!
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How do you know when a ski instructor walks into the room?
Don't worry, he'll tell you.
What's the difference between a real snake and a ski school snake?
Asshole's at the back of the real snake.
Did you hear about the ski instructor who won the lottery?
He said he would keep working unti the money ran out.
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04-09-2013, 06:52 AM #15
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dirtbag ski bum is chillin at the bookends. chica skiis up and takes everything off. chics looks dbsb in the eyes and sez - take what you want!!! dbsb sez - are those kinco gloves?
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04-09-2013, 07:12 AM #16
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Digital Death and two of his friends go camping in their new tent.
After a night's sleep, the guy sleeping on the left of the tent wakes up in a cold sweat and tells the others "I had the most horrible nightmare that somebody was trying to pull my dick off!"
The guy sleeping on the right says "Weird! I had the exact same dream!"
Digital Death, who was sleeping in the middle says "I had a dream that I was skiing ..."
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04-09-2013, 09:20 AM #17
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How does a bro-brah big mountain skier pay for things?
He always "charges" it!Leave No Turn Unstoned!
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04-09-2013, 09:36 AM #18
Powder Ho
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What's the difference between a vacum cleaner and a snowboard?
There is none. They both have dirt bags attached to them.
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04-09-2013, 09:45 AM #19
KING RATBAGGER !!! ...
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skiers not only need 2 planks,
but poles as well ???
do you still have training wheels on your mtn bike too ???We, the RATBAGGERS, formally axcept our duty is to trigger avalaches on all skiers ...
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04-09-2013, 09:50 AM #20
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"Alpine rock and steep, deep powder are what I seek, and I will always find solace there." - Bean Bowers
photos
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04-09-2013, 10:31 AM #21
trenchman
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if it was easy it would be called snoboarding.
.
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04-09-2013, 10:59 AM #22
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fuck ya i love skiing -- your joke is old tho
Originally Posted by Timberridge
Zone Controller
"He wants to be a pro, bro, not some schmuck." - Hugh Conway
"DigitalDeath would kick my ass. He has the reach of a polar bear." - Crass3000
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04-09-2013, 12:18 PM #23
Cultural Misappropriator
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What does the EPIC in Epic Pass stand for?
Every Prick In Colorado
Always look out for SPOREs on the mountain..
Stupid Person On Rental Equipment Originally Posted by Hugh Conway
Originally Posted by Meadow Skipper
Originally Posted by pedoherp69
Originally Posted by rokjoxx
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04-09-2013, 02:37 PM #24
trenchman
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full tilt should make a rear entry boot and name it dd.
bF.
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04-09-2013, 03:41 PM #25
by Fabergé
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Your Momma's so fat
That your home hill only has surface lifts now
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