Shit that annoys you

[Meadow Skipper]

People fucking up this thread with poliass shit annoys me. I come here to find out what 3 or 4 things annoyed old goat each day.

Exactly.

[KQ]

i got some icy hot on my junk once

Um, Original Source… can we talk?

I’d like to take you back to around 6.45am this morning, when I stepped into my bath, and found that my usual, rather innocuous bottle of shower gel (Waitrose essentials, Rose) had run out. A tad irritating, but fortuitously, I had a solution close to hand. A brand new, unopened bottle of your very own Mint and Tea Tree Shower Gel. My bodily cleanliness was assured once more. I breathed a sigh of relief.

I took the Mint and Tea Tree Shower Gel and began to work it into a lather. I applied it to first one leg, then the other, and shaved them diligently. (Yes, feel free to be impressed at my commitment to body defoliation at 6.45am on a Wednesday morning. I was too.) So far, so good.

I washed my arms and shaved underneath them. I washed my neck, breasts, stomach and back. Thus far, it had been a positively first class bathing experience.

And then.

AND THEN.

Oh. Dear. God.

MY VAGINA WAS ABLAZE.

For a moment, I wasn’t entirely sure what had happened. Had I repeated the never to be forgotten error when I managed to apply hair removal cream which was strictly not for front bottoms to my front bottom? Had a stray spark inadvertently set light to my pubic thatch?

BECAUSE IT FUCKING FELT LIKE IT.

Yes, Original Source, your innocuous looking green bottle of so called shower gel, it turns out, is an absolute fucking liability. MY FLAPS WERE ON FUCKING FIRE. I had a quick look at the ingredients list to see if it contained gasoline. It did not. There was a warning though. ‘KEEP AWAY FROM EYES.’ Keep away from eyes? KEEP AWAY FROM EYES? Frankly, my eyes were the least of my problems right now.

I frantically scrubbed my flaps, which by now felt as though they were being ceremoniously scrubbed by ants wearing ice skates laced with chilli sauce. ‘7,929 tingling leaves’ claimed the front of the bottle. Tingling? TINGLING? This wasn’t tingling my minge. It was starting a fucking bush fire down there. (Pun entirely intended. You can thank me later.)

Some twelve hours later, my front bottom has finally calmed down, though may well be suffering from as yet unconfirmed PTSD. My eyes have eventually stopped watering. And so, in the interests of public safety, I thought I would pen you this missive.

May I suggest a rebranding of the front of your bottles of Mint and Tea Tree Shower Gel? Something along the lines of the following:

‘7,927 tingling leaves which will accost your genitalia until it screams for mercy.’

If nothing else, it will certainly stand out on the shelf.

Anyways, thanks for brightening up my morning. And my front bottom, which has never been so lively.

Kisses, IKINTST xxx —

[Iowagriz]

Friggin hilarious!

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[Gepeto]

AND THEN.

Oh. Dear. God.

...MY VAGINA WAS ABLAZE....

I frantically scrubbed my flaps, which by now felt as though they were being ceremoniously scrubbed by ants wearing ice skates laced with chilli sauce.

I'm laughed so hard, I crying...

[Buster Highmen]

...tears...

[iceman]

oh shit that's funny

[KQ]

The Brits have a way with words.

I will admit to not being familiar with the term "flaps" or "front bottom" prior to reading that but I can tell you I've never forgotten it since. LOL!

From personal experience I know that the same sort of reaction occurs with Dr. Bonner's Peppermint soap. Ouch!

[reckless toboggan]

[GhostofSeasonsPast]

... particularly after the Civil Rights and Voting Rights Acts were passed by LBJ and the Democratic Party in 1964...

Hmmm...Republican support for the Civil Rights Act of 64 was far stronger, in terms of votes for it in Congress, than it was in the Democratic party. Not annoying to me, but to a lot of stalwarts of the Democratic party, it seems to have been annoying.

As far as the Democratic party being completely different later on, President Bill Clinton sang the praises of a former Klan leader in what year? 1971? No. 2010. That Klan leader went on to become a lion in the Senate for the Dems, and used the N word on an open mike in what year? 1971? No.

Sounds like your leopard didn't change all that much. Leopards do that. Annoying.

[delco714]

The Brits have a way with words.

I will admit to not being familiar with the term "flaps" or "front bottom" prior to reading that but I can tell you I've never forgotten it since. LOL!

From personal experience I know that the same sort of reaction occurs with Dr. Bonner's Peppermint soap. Ouch!

Anyone who has chewed or enjoyed minty fresh gum/candy, should know what it does to your mucous membranes..

Having said that, I have a shampoo that's very similar, equally refreshing, and use it in the perijunk area to freshen extra good, for the same reason.

That was probably the most enjoyable 45 seconds of literature I've had in a decade.
Thanks kq, I owe you a pinot or whatever you drink

[BeardMech]

I took an 1/8th of shrooms and while I was coming up I tooks a shower with some dr bonnets peppermint soap. omg, what an experience. I never felt so refreshed in my life

[jackstraw]

The asshat that walks his dog on the walking path around the perimeter of the elementary school and doesn't pick up it's shit. Dogs are not even allowed and admittedly I break that rule daily, but at least I pick up the dog shit if my pup happens to take a dump. I also pick up all the garbage that the kids and their pos parents leave behind when using the playground and baseball diamond.

[iceman]

Annoying.

Yup.

Why the fuck do we have moderators if they can't do a simple thing like banning this moron? Seriously.

[concretejungle]

Yup.

Why the fuck do we have moderators if they can't do a simple thing like banning this moron? Seriously.

Don't know. I reported the polyass stuff in the padded room yesterday so I guess the fan must be on vacation.

Also, if people could stop quoting them that would be great. Thanks.

[Self Jupiter]

Is there any way to put him on a forum-wide ignore option, without his knowledge?

Flowing has an orange crown, can you use your super powers?

[rideit]

From personal experience I know that the same sort of reaction occurs with Dr. Bonner's Peppermint soap. Ouch!

Which is funny because for some years they listed Dr. Bronners and lemon juice as a contraceptive on their crazy label.

[Viva]

Which is funny because for some years they listed Dr. Bronners and lemon juice as a contraceptive on their crazy label.

Well, I think we understand the mechanism of action now, don't we?

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[Rideski]

When I get over stocked on food and let half a pack of uncooked bacon get a little stinky.

[rideit]

Well, I think we understand the mechanism of action now, don't we?

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Sure, Just Say No, and do something else fun.

[GhostofSeasonsPast]

When I get over stocked on food and let half a pack of uncooked bacon get a little stinky.

One man's annoyance is another's crayfish bait.

[mcski]

Toddlers spreading their infectious diseases to me w their slimy paws making all surfaces a bio hazard.

[XXX-er]

When I get over stocked on food and let half a pack of uncooked bacon get a little stinky.

you know you could just thro it in the freezer in fact what I do is roast up a couple packs on a cookie sheet ( 20min at 350 ) and put the cooked bacon in the freezer, way easier/cleaner than cooking it every time

[Kailua_Boys]

Doing home improvement projects on an old home. A simple job turns into a huge project when you discover all the problems you can't see.

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[booner]

I’d like to take you back to around 6.45am this morning...

I took the Mint and Tea Tree Shower Gel and began to work it into a lather....

...MY VAGINA WAS ABLAZE.

Anyways, thanks for brightening up my morning. And my front bottom, which has never been so lively.

Kisses, IKINTST xxx —

PM me pics. Second opinion never hurts...

[BeardMech]

Instagram models. Im not even on social media (outside tgr and reddit), but the idea of them basically acting as prostitutes and begging for free shit (like free vacation stays) is disgusting.