Paging Tom From Austria: Fruit Boot Emergency @ Pain McShlonkey (PMS)

**maskinut** · 03-05-2013, 11:33 PM

Tom and fans of Fruit-booting.
Today I have been selected to participate in the Pain McShlonkey Classic (PMS) http://www.shanemcconkey.org/pain-mcshlonkey/index.php. Getting accepted into this group required me to write a letter explaining why I am the best skier on the mountain and also why my girlfriend didn't leave me when she found poop on my phone after the Squaw Prom 2012. Apparently my letter writing skills were good enough. Now I need some "good enough" equipment. See, I'm not a pro-snowlerblader, I just pretended in my letter.

Now that I have been selected I need some gear. Years ago you sponsored me by giving me a beta version of the revolutionary Rax Ski after seeing me throw down at Stowe, Vt on a sick ice-groomer day. I'm even quoted on your website on the revolution you started. I'm hoping you have some new gear than can allow me to go bigger, deeper, longer. Checkout this footage of the Squaw Gapers trying to Chinese Downhill. As you can see, the kooks here are having a hard time charging it. http://www.shanemcconkey.org/pain-mcshlonkey/video.php Together, we can beat them. Hell, even some of those quacks at EpicSki could win on some Rax Skis.

Let me know what you have. I need something big, fat and stiff but not exceeding snowlerblade girth. We'll be ramming it down KT-22 on March 30th. Can you hook me up with some Race Room Raxers? I'll probably podium and then Rax will be dominant in Olympic Valley for the next 100 years which is perfect because WhiteWolf will be merging with Squalpine at the same time creating the worlds largest Fruit Booting Venue.

p.s. they called me an athlete in the email they sent me today. Sick!