Useless skills

[TeleHoar]

juggling.

I rarely use it in a corporate environment but it is surprisingly effective when trying to get kids to shut up and focus.

Heh...Once again, hardly useless. I made close to a million dollars from juggling skills, been around the world, met several wives....


My useless skill; when calling someone on the phone I was able to tell if a phone was going to be answered by the sound of the first ring 99% of the time. It only worked with land lines though..

[userA]

i am a solid procrastinator

[schwerty]

I can usually rip a solid fart on command.

[gatorboy]

Saying the alphabet backwards really fast.

Me too....around 3.4 seconds

Yeah that's not useless, they should teach that in Drunk School.

That's what I thought...until I got pulled over 23 years ago. I said it from A to M....and then reversed back to A. Cop was speechless. Then I did it again. I was busted (and a good thing 'cause I was drunk and shouldn't have been on the road).

[I Am Mr. Ed]

I can usually rip a solid fart on command.

A much better skill than ripping loose ones

[guroo270]

I can make corrupt LAPD police officers disappear.










Too soon? They'll just be replaced by some other racist trigger happy mother fuckers, so I consider this useless.

[iceman]

When trying to open one side of a set of double doors to a store or whatever I have an uncanny ability to try the one that's locked first. All the damn time. Why is one always locked anyways?

[Jethro]

I can win multiple ebay auctions for the same item with alarming frequency. I once won 4 Ipod minis and on another occasion I won the bid for three individual skis for my RMK 800. Yesterday I won two sets of tow shackles for my 1952 dodge.M37

[IVplay]

I always push and not pull, and pull and not push a door. Easy way to get people mad.

Also I can break down a teacher in a week.

[karpiel]

I used to be able to pretty good at breaking down teachers. Got 2 fired, caused another to have a heart attack. Nearly got one arrested. One broken computer screen, a broken overhead projector, a chair thrown across the room and a smashed printer.

Safe to say my social skills aren't the best, in case anyone hadn't noticed from my postings...

Never really did anything wrong either. Was other teachers favorite student, never understood it.

[brice618]

I can clap with my hands independently. It's a real charmer with the ladies.

[Cayuse]

Me too....around 3.4 seconds



That's what I thought...until I got pulled over 23 years ago. I said it from A to M....and then reversed back to A. Cop was speechless. Then I did it again. I was busted (and a good thing 'cause I was drunk and shouldn't have been on the road).

Yea, about 3.2-3.5 seconds consistently (thanks dad). Once in college asked to say the alphabet backwards and stop at L and rattled it off so fat the cop didn't believe I'd said all the letters so had to do it again slower. Got to drive the remaining three blocks home, wasn't really that drunk more a combintation of a couple beers and being tired after a kayaking trip.

[johnDUB]

I convert beer into piss.

[Like a Boss]

I can eat a Chipotle burrito while driving with minimal mess in a snowstorm.

[I Am Mr. Ed]

I can eat a Chipotle burrito while driving with minimal mess in a snowstorm.

You can also write w/o appropriate punctuation

[karpiel]

You can also write w/o appropriate punctuation

You are able to criticize those with similar problems to yourself.

[bagtagley]

I can come up with an appropriate 80s/early 90s movie quote for basically any conversation or situation.

[iceman]

I can come up with an appropriate 80s/early 90s movie quote for basically any conversation or situation.

huh. How about this one?

[SB]

I convert beer into piss.

And you are drinking the waste product of the yeast.

[johnDUB]

I can also eat corn on the cob through a venetian blind.

[iceman]

Well you're English.

I have the ability to make grocery stores stop carrying products merely by trying them and deciding I like them.

[I Am Mr. Ed]

Well you're English.

I have the ability to make grocery stores stop carrying products merely by trying them and deciding I like them.

Didn't know grocery stores carried dildos

[gointhedistance]

Didn't know grocery stores carried dildos

Shit got real up in here.

[iceman]

Shit got real up in here.

He's a horse, so he's part horse's ass. He can't help it.

[IVplay]

He's a horse, so he's part horse's ass. He can't help it.

I see what you did there...