Things every man should have / be able to do

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • KoKopeLLi
    chain slapper
    • Jan 2007
    • 673

    #1

    Things every man should have / be able to do

    It baffles me how whiney and clueless some men are these days. Maybe your dad didn't teach you the important things growing up but it's time to buck up and own those pubes on your sac! It's okay that you might gel your hair, wear cologne, or otherwise lean toward the metro sexual side but here's a rough guideline for all you wimps:

    You don't really need much in your shower besides a bar of soap, razor, shampoo. period. Unless you share a bathroom with a woman.

    Own a chainsaw or at the very least a decent hatchet

    Have some knowledge in car/engine maintenance.

    Know how to read a map, a paper map not a GPS

    Be able to start a fire just about anytime anywhere. Bonus points for using only 1 match

    Don't cry when there's no cream for the coffee. Drink it black

    Have a deep fondness forJohnny Cash and Waylon Jennings

    Own adecent set of tools even if its cheap crap from Home Depot

    Mount your own fucking skis
  • DeepHelmet
    Registered User
    • Nov 2008
    • 1519

    #2
    Keep a bottle of whiskey in your house.
    Know how to cook a steak without a meat thermometer.
    Learn some framing skills.

    Comment

    • hutash
      Don't Panic
      • Jun 2006
      • 22445

      #3
      I can agree with all but the Johnny Cash/Waylon Jennings part. Especially sense a "deep fondness" sounds a bit too much like a man crush.

      I agree it is a constitutional right for Americans to be assholes...its just too bad that so many take the opportunity...
      iscariot

      Comment

      • leroy jenkins
        Merkin Merchant
        • Dec 2005
        • 9968

        #4
        Basic first aid, and be able to cook for oneself. I'll add at least a theoretical knowledge of firearms andhow to butcher an animal.
        __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ________________
        "We don't need predator control, we need whiner control. Anyone who complains that "the gummint oughta do sumpin" about the wolves and coyotes should be darted, caged, and released in a more suitable habitat for them, like the middle of Manhattan." - Spats

        "I'm constantly doing things I can't do. Thats how I get to do them." - Pablo Picasso

        Cisco and his wife are fragile idiots who breed morons.

        Comment

        • KoKopeLLi
          chain slapper
          • Jan 2007
          • 673

          #5
          Yes knowing how to field dress an animal or fillet a fish is important. Ordering red meat over medium or cooking it over 150 negates all manliness.

          Comment

          • bklyn
            who guards the guardians?
            • May 2005
            • 5762

            #6
            Every man should know how to fuck and if they are straight, know how to eat pussy.

            Space reserved for that special video posted a few years back

            .
            .
            .
            I'm just a simple girl trying to make my way in the universe...
            I come up hard, baby but now I'm cool I didn't make it, sugar playin' by the rules
            If you know your history, then you would know where you coming from, then you wouldn't have to ask me, who the heck do I think I am.

            Comment

            • rideit
              ExteriorDecorator
              • Nov 2005
              • 36513

              #7
              Pretty sound logic, Tracy.
              Forum Cross Pollinator, gratuitously strident

              Comment

              • KoKopeLLi
                chain slapper
                • Jan 2007
                • 673

                #8
                You can be gay as hell if you want just know how to pound that shit proper.

                Back on topic. You must love dogs or like them better than cats

                Comment

                • spook

                  #9
                  Originally posted by bklyn
                  Every man should know how to fuck and if they are straight, know how to eat pussy.

                  .
                  .
                  every man should be coachable. good luck.

                  Comment

                  • systemoverblow'd
                    Registered User
                    • Sep 2010
                    • 9000

                    #10
                    Originally posted by KoKopeLLi
                    Don't cry when there's no cream for the coffee. Drink it black
                    You put cream in your coffee? I bet you put sugar in too. What a wuss.
                    Brought to you by Carl's Jr.

                    Comment

                    • Jer
                      Stalker
                      • Jun 2006
                      • 17076

                      #11
                      Steak?

                      Shaving razors?

                      Cream?

                      Matches?

                      Is this one of those "man" things where you weaklings sit around a fire passing the "talking stick" and crying?
                      Help out a pup or kitteh

                      Do it for the critterz

                      Res dogz could use a break

                      Comment

                      • KoKopeLLi
                        chain slapper
                        • Jan 2007
                        • 673

                        #12
                        Yes but first I still need help pitching my tent.


                        Aren't clips and magazines the same thing?

                        Comment

                        • Jer
                          Stalker
                          • Jun 2006
                          • 17076

                          #13
                          Every man should have at the very least two really good scars.


                          ...and I don't mean on your soul.
                          Help out a pup or kitteh

                          Do it for the critterz

                          Res dogz could use a break

                          Comment

                          • fishbenk
                            Registered User
                            • Jan 2011
                            • 102

                            #14
                            Drive a stick

                            Comment

                            • Like a Boss
                              Drops in Heavy
                              • Nov 2009
                              • 1200

                              #15
                              A man should know that if he's changing a flat tire on a vehicle to break the lugs loose before jacking the vehicle up. He should also know that the rim might be rusted/frozen to the hub and might not budge even after removing the lugs, so he should know to bash the flat tire with the spare to break it loose.*








                              *Of course I knew all these things when I changed a tire a couple days ago. Of course...

                              Comment

                              Working...