Shiffrin

[TBS]

Wake up babe, new Shriffrin conspiracy theory just dropped ~

My ski instructor claims that Mikaela has mastered the lost art of skiing at water's triple point of 0.01°C and 611.66 Pa.

He says you can tell because the new microphones on the World Cup courses are picking it up.

We practiced some "Shriffin turns", and they were heaven. I am tempted to believe.

This theory fails basic arithmetic

Let’s review
612Pa = 0.09pounds/sq inch (is the magic force 611.66 Pa or 611.73? Both are referenced)

Shiffrin weighs what, 140lb with clothes, helmet, body armor, skis and boots?

Which means she needs to spread that 140lbs over 1556 sq in to achieve this magic force of 611.73Pa

A woman’s FIS WC slalom ski is 156cm and what, 80mm wide on average?
So the footprint under a ski is 156*8/6.45sqcm per sqin = 193sq in
Or 386sq in for both skis.

So just standing immobile on flat ground with equal weight on both skis she generates a downward force on the snow of 140/386=0.36psi - IOW 4x the magic number

Weighting one ski more than the other in a turn will further increase the force
So will centrifugal forces of a turn.

Further, the friction of a ski on edge moving across the snow will cause a thin layer of snow to melt. Further messing up the theory…

This reminds me of the handbook that explains the phenomenon of the Oregon Vortex - it requires use of a constant equal to the square root of the time it takes sunlight to reach earth

[MakersTeleMark]

You don't have to prove that the person is an idiot. It's Sunday, take a break.

[powdork]

This theory fails basic arithmetic

Let’s review
612Pa = 0.09pounds/sq inch (is the magic force 611.66 Pa or 611.73? Both are referenced)

Shiffrin weighs what, 140lb with clothes, helmet, body armor, skis and boots?

Which means she needs to spread that 140lbs over 1556 sq in to achieve this magic force of 611.73Pa

A woman’s FIS WC slalom ski is 156cm and what, 80mm wide on average?
So the footprint under a ski is 156*8/6.45sqcm per sqin = 193sq in
Or 386sq in for both skis.

So just standing immobile on flat ground with equal weight on both skis she generates a downward force on the snow of 140/386=0.36psi - IOW 4x the magic number

Weighting one ski more than the other in a turn will further increase the force
So will centrifugal forces of a turn.

Further, the friction of a ski on edge moving across the snow will cause a thin layer of snow to melt. Further messing up the theory…

This reminds me of the handbook that explains the phenomenon of the Oregon Vortex - it requires use of a constant equal to the square root of the time it takes sunlight to reach earth

I don't see anywhere you took account of how red her skis are...

[Hood26]

I don't see anywhere you took account of how red her skis are...

They are very red and nuclear in name, so is that an exponential factor? I have forgotten most of my math.

[From_the_NEK]

This just in... Shriffrin caught using illegal waxes! Unfortunately, I can't find today's article to link here.

[telefreewasatch]

Good one.

[The AD]

Wax on, whacks off.

[skinipenem]

This theory fails basic arithmetic

Let’s review
612Pa = 0.09pounds/sq inch (is the magic force 611.66 Pa or 611.73? Both are referenced)

Shiffrin weighs what, 140lb with clothes, helmet, body armor, skis and boots?

Which means she needs to spread that 140lbs over 1556 sq in to achieve this magic force of 611.73Pa

A woman’s FIS WC slalom ski is 156cm and what, 80mm wide on average?
So the footprint under a ski is 156*8/6.45sqcm per sqin = 193sq in
Or 386sq in for both skis.

So just standing immobile on flat ground with equal weight on both skis she generates a downward force on the snow of 140/386=0.36psi - IOW 4x the magic number

Weighting one ski more than the other in a turn will further increase the force
So will centrifugal forces of a turn.

Further, the friction of a ski on edge moving across the snow will cause a thin layer of snow to melt. Further messing up the theory…

This reminds me of the handbook that explains the phenomenon of the Oregon Vortex - it requires use of a constant equal to the square root of the time it takes sunlight to reach earth

She is extremely light on her feet.

Sent from my SM-S908U1 using Tapatalk

[waxoff]

Wax on, whacks off.

Are you talking to me?!! 😎🤣🤣🤣

[Gepeto]

Like everyone else - she's such a pleasure to watch. It's going to be fun to see her when she walks away and has time for the joy of snow in its more sublime forms.

So little/no energy wasted from the ski

[TBS]

I don't see anywhere you took account of how red her skis are...

You are correct sir. I have it on good authority (two friends that ski Redster S9s) that the Redster topsheet pigment excites water molecules near the ski, causing them to move away from the edge, thereby decreasing friction and increasing speed.

This may be why her skis sound different.

[From_the_NEK]

Engaged

[TBS]

Damn - thought I still had a shot with her…

[schindlerpiste]

I just read that Shiffrin is preggers. Can anyone confirm or shed light on this? After all, I read it in an Italian media outlet on the gram

[MakersTeleMark]

I actually can't picture her having sex. But, strange things happen.

[powdrhound]

I actually can't picture her having sex. But, strange things happen.

Yeah, that’s pretty strange.

[k2skier112]

I actually can't picture her having sex. But, strange things happen.

You need a better imagination

[PB]

Even Goddesses have/enjoy sex; probably a lot more than us mere mortals.
Warning: combustion may occur.

[Shredhead]

I actually can't picture her having.

I pretty much picture it every night.
Most mornings and some afternoons.