Mayan Apocalypse: Panic Spreads., TGR .official countdown begins, flame away.

[DasBlunt]

Holy frightening headlines to generate hits, you whores.

Mayan apocalypse: panic spreads as December 21 nears.....

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worl...-21-nears.html

Ahead of December 21, which marks the conclusion of the 5,125-year "Long Count" Mayan calendar, panic buying of candles and essentials has been reported in China and Russia, along with an explosion in sales of survival shelters in America. In France believers were preparing to converge on a mountain where they believe aliens will rescue them.
The precise manner of Armageddon remains vague, ranging from a catastrophic celestial collision between Earth and the mythical planet Nibiru, also known as Planet X, a disastrous crash with a comet, or the annihilation of civilisation by a giant solar storm.
In America Ron Hubbard, a manufacturer of hi-tech underground survival shelters, has seen his business explode.
"We've gone from one a month to one a day," he said. "I don't have an opinion on the Mayan calendar but, when astrophysicists come to me, buy my shelters and tell me to be prepared for solar flares, radiation, EMPs (electromagnetic pulses) ... I'm going underground on the 19th and coming out on the 23rd. It's just in case anybody's right."
In the French Pyrenees the mayor of Bugarach, population 179, has attempted to prevent pandemonium by banning UFO watchers and light aircraft from the flat topped mount Pic de Bugarach.
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According to New Age lore it as an "alien garage" where extraterrestrials are waiting to abandon Earth, taking a lucky few humans with them.
Russia saw people in Omutninsk, in Kirov region, rushing to buy kerosene and supplies after a newspaper article, supposedly written by a Tibetan monk, confirmed the end of the world.
The city of Novokuznetsk faced a run on salt. In Barnaul, close to the Altai Mountains, panic-buyers snapped up all the torches and Thermos flasks.
Dmitry Medvedev, the Russian prime minister, even addressed the situation.
"I don't believe in the end of the world," before adding somewhat disconcertingly: "At least, not this year."
In China, which has no history of preoccupation with the end of the world, a wave of paranoia about the apocalypse can be traced to the 2009 Hollywood blockbuster "2012".
The film, starring John Cusack, was a smash hit in China, as viewers were seduced by a plot that saw the Chinese military building arks to save humanity.
Some in China are taking the prospect of Armageddon seriously with panic buying of candles reported in Sichuan province.
The source of the panic was traced to a post on Sina Weibo, China's version of Twitter, predicting that there will be three days of darkness when the apocalypse arrives.
One grocery store owner said: "At first, we had no idea why. But then we heard someone muttering about the continuous darkness."
Shanghai police said scam artists had been convincing pensioners to hand over savings in a last act of charity.
Meanwhile in Mexico, where the ancient Mayan civilisation flourished, the end time has been seen as an opportunity. The country has organised hundreds of Maya-themed events, and tourism is expected to have doubled this year.
Nasa has been aggressively seeking to dispel doomsday fears. It says there is no evidence Nibiru exists, and rumours it could be hiding behind the sun are unfounded.
"It can't hide behind the sun forever, and we would've seen it years ago," a Nasa scientist said.
The space agency also rejected apocalyptic theories about unusual alignments of the planets, or that the Earth's magnetic poles could suddenly "flip."
Conspiracy theorists contend that the space agency is involved in an elaborate cover up to prevent panic.
But David Morrison, an astronomer at Nasa, said: "At least once a week I get a message from a young person, as young as 11, who says they are ill and/or contemplating suicide because of the coming doomsday. I think it's evil for people to propagate rumours on the internet to frighten children."
Mayans themselves reject any notion that the world will end. Pedro Celestino Yac Noj, a Mayan sage, burned seeds and fruits to mark the end of the old calender at a ceremony in Cuba. He said: "The 21st is for giving thanks and gratitude and the 22nd welcomes the new cycle, a new dawn."

[Mazderati]

If anyone has some really tight shit they want to get rid of for cheap, I'm your Huckleberry.

[Tippster]

Besides the retardedness of an Ancient Civilization that was blissfully unaware of anything existing globally outside of the Americas being able to predict some kind of global cataclysm -- didn't they not have Leap Years and thus this should have happened like 2 years ago?

[DasBlunt]

Besides the retardedness of an Ancient Civilization that was blissfully unaware of anything existing globally outside of the Americas being able to predict some kind of global cataclysm -- didn't they not have Leap Years and thus this should have happened like 2 years ago?

Leap year, I think I read that fact a few years ago.

If anyone thinks this is isolated stupidity, the Telegraph linked to this Gem of a headline;

'Zombie apocalypse': US taxpayers pay for officials to attend conference at luxury spa
The US government spent thousands of dollars sending officials to a conference at a luxury spa where they watched a simulation of commandos fighting off a "zombie apocalypse".

ha!

[The Reverend Floater]

Never mind that leap year logic, folks. Unload your stocks, cash, gold and other useless possessions to the Reverend in exchange for things like guns, rice and antibiotics. PM Rontele for details but I've got some good stuff you will need.

[Alaskan Rover]

That lady last week that left an equivalent of $500,000 in cash on the bus that got returned by the bus-driver....she had just before cashed im her whole bank account.

I don't believe the proximity to the oft iterated 'end of world' nonsense was coincidental.


--

[SB]

So wadyawannado?

[JimmyCarter]

In America Ron Hubbard, a manufacturer of hi-tech underground survival shelters, has seen his business explode.
"We've gone from one a month to one a day," he said. "I don't have an opinion on the Mayan calendar but, when astrophysicists come to me, buy my shelters and tell me to be prepared for solar flares, radiation, EMPs (electromagnetic pulses) ... I'm going underground on the 19th and coming out on the 23rd. It's just in case anybody's right."

Mayans predicted the second coming of XENU!!!!

[My Pet Powder Goat]

I watched Apocalypto last night. it was pretty good.

[St. Jerry]

Mayans, huh? Too bad they didn't predict the Spanish coming...

[DeathVan]

[hutash]

It is the second coming of the Great Prophet Zarquan. Get ready bitches.

[irul&ublo]

Holy frightening headlines to generate hits, you whores.

Mayan apocalypse: panic spreads as December 21 nears.....

Jer is hoarding buttplugs and vaseline

[digitaldeath]

Quetzalcoatl Quetzalcoatl Quetzalcoatl Quetzalcoatl Quetzalcoatl Quetzalcoatl Quetzalcoatl Quetzalcoatl Quetzalcoatl Quetzalcoatl Quetzalcoatl Quetzalcoatl

[guroo270]

The U.S. government has released an official statement saying they have looked into every possibility of our impending doom, and via nasa have proclaimed there is no way that the world is going to end this month.

http://blog.usa.gov/post/37121041300...-2012-are-just

[Tuckerman]

Looks like the Mayan astronomers were off by a few million miles.

Asteroid named Toutatis will fly by Earth in the next few days

[ACH]

If anyone has some really tight shit they want to get rid of for cheap, I'm your Huckleberry.

This, specifically anything DPS and Dynafit, hit me with a PM, I'm happy to lighten the load for you (some more).

[SB]

I will trade you some Vert ST binders for an M16A4 and 5000 rounds of ammo.

[concretejungle]

So I'm not gonna have to work 4 12's this week? I guess that's a bonus.

[ACH]

I will trade you some Vert ST binders for an M16A4 and 5000 rounds of ammo.

Wait what?
Are we talking global cataclysm or zombie apocalypse?

[stuckathuntermtn]

I too think of mtngirl's dressing down of DasCunt every time he posts.
Fucking creeper.
Don't you have some bros to get fired because you didn't like the way they dealt with something that didn't involve you?

[DasBlunt]

[irul&ublo]

Wait what?
Are we talking global cataclysm or zombie apocalypse?

Slow moving hoards bunched together...wouldn't a shot gun be a better weapon?

[Jer]

I watched Apocalypto last night. it was pretty good.

My favorite part is when Jaguar Paw throws that wasp nest at those fags.

[ak_powder_monkey]

is the dudes name really ron hubbard?