The JOY's of parenthood....

[robgoose]

First, congrats man on the new addition. Second, your three week old is not bestowing turds. Those come later after real food hits the system, are way less fun, and you will damn well know them when you see them.

ah yes, the "it won't always smell like roses moment"

[Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo]

First, congrats man on the new addition. Second, your three week old is not bestowing turds. Those come later after real food hits the system, are way less fun, and you will damn well know them when you see them.

Yes, they smell worse and are far grosser but unless they're sick the possibility of a blowout is significantly reduced. I'd much rather deal with any type of shit as long as it is within the confines of the diaper than shit all over clothing, car seat, me, etc.

And knock on wood, ours is going on 2 and has only shit in the tub once.

[userA]

bestest thing i have heard in awhile from my 9yr. old boy,
can we go skiing.
i said no just like nancy reagan.
bf

[MakersTeleMark]

When she was 2, and we put her to bed we used to watch OZ..Thought she couldn't hear it.
One day the theme song starts playing on the TV, and she blurts out, saying Fuck, Fuck, Fuck..
Wife, and I look at each other in horror, after that we waited till we KNEW she was asleep.

This is so funny for a completely different reason.

[criscam]

2.5 yr old at a coffe shop drive thru, "excuse me sir, my mom REALLY needs a coffee!"

[warthog]

Too many to even remember. My 5 y/o is full of win every day.
A week ago the new neighbors came over to get ideas for their house. They are fully renovating the house they just bought, a couple doors down. My daughter acts all shy at first, like she normally does. I tell them it will wear off quickly. 2 min. later, I am showing them the kids' bathroom, and she drops trow and hops on the toilet right in front of them. She isn't shy for long.

[The Tortoise]

While feeding my Son who was just over two.

J: I want juice!

Me: What is the magic word? (Attempting to get him to say "Please".)

J: You go in kitchen!

They can be a riot, but holy hell is two ever a lot more work than one.

[criscam]

They can be a riot, but holy hell is two ever a lot more work than one.

Amen!
678

[bagtagley]

They can be a riot, but holy hell is two ever a lot more work than one.

Wait 'til three.

Me to my wife: So-and-so is an a-hole.
Daughter @ 4: Your mom is an a-hole.
M: Nana is an a-hole?
D: Yeah
M: Do you know what an a-hole is?
D: Yeah. It's good, right?

[warthog]

They can be a riot, but holy hell is two ever a lot more work than one.

I am still waiting for it to end. She is 5. 3 was worse than 2, but that level of insanity has lasted over 2 years now.
Time for phase 3- sweet and nice, quickly followed by teenage angst and parental hatred, not so quickly followed by the college/post college love and adoration phase, then followed by the payback stage. That is where my folks are right now, laughing at me and my sisters. It all goes so fast.

[Hayduke]

Caught raiding the nivea....

[Danno]

but nicely moisturized!

That will be my kid for sure. She's done similar things already (she's 22 months).

[booner]

Caught raiding the nivea....

I didn't start getting into the lotion till I was about 12