Thanks TGR, we had a baby!!

[Buster Highmen]

Buster, yes I want to get back up to WA to ski again. I truly miss everyone and all the experiences we had because of TGR. Ah I'm reminiscing.

It's been almost 9 years since the dinner at the Elk. You know what that means.

Parenthood has been challenging and fantastic. We are debating on kid #2. I seriously need help with this decision - Legoskier is also on the fence - so any advice is appreciated.

Yup, challenging but more importantly the best thing EVAR in my weebly experience.
I think 2 is exponentially more difficult, but likely better for the kids. It depends on your life objectives and how important simplicity is.

Good news is our daughter loves to dive into the water at swim class and from pillows onto the bed. Seriously. She also likes to do somersaults and balance on the balance beam so the whole diver thing = apple doesn't fall from the tree. I see a future jumper-off-of-something. Or diver, of course. Skis = next season? She'll be 2 next week.

Anyway thanks again all, 2 years late.

I think 2 is the best time to start 'em.

All the best, DG and Lego!

[ddsnake]

Once again a thread has devolved into people trying to justify their lifestyles… probably posting on their bosses time...

[GiBo]

So, there is no right answer but you're right?

On my first point, I probably didn't state it well, but my point is just that parenting is pretty overwhelming for me, and the thought of starting over is even more overwhelming. The reality is that some people come easily to parenting (not saying anyone finds it easy), some people find the whole process less daunting and draining. I didn't always intend to be a parent, and coming at it fairly late in life, I found it quite hard to give up my settled ways (and still find it hard, but less so, with my kid almost 4). So the thought of having another, well, it makes me feel like I might lose myself entirely, ya know? "I'm a father, that's it" is not "it" for me.

As for the sibling thing, well, most only children I know are very self-confident, not afraid of being alone, and yet still very social. I don't read studies on this, I just know what I see. And I also know people who are not close with their siblings. And I feel like there will be greater opportunities for me to do things with my daughter than would be there if I had another kid (in part because of money, I don't think I could afford another one!, but also in part because of the different relationship).

There's nothing wrong with having a second kid, but there's nothing wrong with not wanting one. Parents who have only one are not "depriving" their kid of anything, and being happy with your choice is not a reason to make people feel bad for making a different choice.

No, I'm not right. It's just one man's opinion. Everyone's different.

I get that it can seem overwhelming. But your fears are unfounded. You would be fine. Trust me. I felt the same way.

And I didn't set out to make anyone feel bad for their choice. But to say you're not 'depriving' them of having a sibling... you're definitely doing that. Whether that's good or bad is debatable. In my experience, the onlys I know wish they had them. That's all I was saying.

[dschane]

I've got 4. I had no idea how easy having 2 kids was until I had a third and fourth.

That is absolutely true. When our oldest boy (now 6) had just crossed the 12-month plateau, we learned my wife was pregnant, which we later found out would be twins (boy and girl). My wife cried that our lives would turn to shit and the first two months pretty much were (literally, with three in diapers, that's how it goes). You carve out time for each parent, and for both parents, and while the days are long, the years are short and before you know it, they're all on skis. And you realize what Cruiser said is spot on.

There's nothing wrong with having a second kid, but there's nothing wrong with not wanting one.

And that is also very true. I know parents of onlies whose lives surround their kids and I know a single parent of 4 kids who gets out for herself far more than the average parent. How much you let your kid's life or kids' lives swallow your own is mostly unrelated to the number of kids you have.

[SB]

So updated pics?

[hutash]

I have two kids, and found it to be a great number. Nothing wrong with one, or only wanting one, but two just brings a better balance to the family and keeps you from over indulging the singleton, which happens all too often. Two is really not that much more work then one, and in the long run, much less work because they have each other at times.

[TomCrac]

Timberidge, yer killin' me.

[iamTRuTH]

Not that there aren't benefits to being an only child, but, I could not imagine growing up without my brothers and my sister. I say go for it

+1million. My sister is my best friend and ski buddy.

[riser4]

I've got 4. I had no idea how easy having 2 kids was until I had a third and fourth.

Ed Zachary. Three kids is plenty. The 'frozen peas' surgery is the best invention in the world.

[Rodneyyee]

Once again a thread has devolved into people trying to justify their lifestyles… probably posting on their bosses time...

So classic isn't it? Kids? It's 2014 correct? Hard for me to look around and go "wow i really think having a child is a good idea, I mean things look so great" More power to those who do it but I ( we ) would never consider it. Selfish? I guess, but when I hear what parents go through and I see how kids are raised I feel so much better about our decision. Also I'm not a bible thumper so that "reason we are here" does not apply.

[Tippster]

I'm all about Rodneyvee not breeding. Thanks, man!

[whitekingsalmon]

rodneyeeeyeye you and your boyfriend should consider adopting.

[grinch]

That poor kid

[hutash]

I agree, some people should not be parents, thankfully rodneyvee is one of them.

[DJSapp]

DG - I know you messaged the Mrs., but here's my take: if you're on the fence, do it. All of the arguments here are about how a second would wreck their finances, or keep them from skiing/traveling/partying as much as they would like. The arguments of 'I can't pay enough attention to 2' will stop you from being a helicopter parent. Hell, you're too close already. And your kids only want you around for a fleeting while, 12 years if you're lucky.

They are not telling you about what they are missing in their lives, since they do not know what they are missing. Weekend mornings when my daughter comes running into our room, and then the toddler joins for snuggles and playtime as we wake up is nearly as good as a powder day. Completely different, but still a great feeling of fun, enjoyment and love, and we get that all the time. You guys can find a way to make the $ work.

And yeah, we never got any pics with the supermom feeders. What's up with that?

[Rodneyyee]

I agree, some people should not be parents, thankfully rodneyvee is one of them.

Pot-Kettle ?

White dildo king fish checking in from Cham? Pavones?Bishop? How'd that last cook go? Max is ready for you bitch ! I'll bring the camera! TGR will be alive.

Yes if you don't want to have kids you're a weirdo......I get it.

[Tri-Ungulate]

I think I musta missed this thread first time around, but srsly happy for you divegirl and Lego and toddler maggette. Might try to make it out to the Mammoth mini again next spring, hope to see you guys again sometime.

[MMP]

we have 5, fucking nightmare.

[divegirl]

I have one, and won't have another. I feel like with one, it's so much easier to live your lifestyle with the kid, whereas with 2, you're much more likely to define yourself as parent and nothing else. When one of us goes off to do something, we're not leaving the other person outnumbered. And while a sibling would be cool (and my daughter wants one) there are traits of only children that are cool. I was one of 5, and I love my brothers to death, but I don't feel like my daughter will be missing something without siblings. Or, rather, she will be missing something but will also be gaining something. And there are siblings out there that don't get along, it's not a guaranteed best friend for your daughter.

There is no wrong answer to this question. Anyone who tries to tell you there is a right answer is full of shit. Everyone's situation is different.

In true and proper form, I have emerged from hibernation to read the replies I received to this thread since the last time I emerged from hibernation. And I have to say, THANK YOU EVERYONE for your responses, again, to my question of having another kid. I quote Danno because this pretty much sums up our thinking on having 2 - there is no right answer, and it's SO personal. I was stressing about having a 2nd, and Legoskier asked me to ponder having just one, and I thought to myself, wait that's an option? And a huge brick lifted from my shoulders. So, yeah. We're having 1. I sold all the baby stuff when we moved to Seattle last summer and am trying to sell her crib as I type, and I had no hesitation doing any of it. And I know that's the right answer for us.

I'm really enjoying reading these responses.....thank you all, and sorry for bumping a really old thread!!!

[iceman]

Is that kid in high school now or what?

[divegirl]

But to say you're not 'depriving' them of having a sibling... you're definitely doing that. Whether that's good or bad is debatable.

You make a really good point GiBo. I know we are depriving her of a sibling. It stops me sometimes and I feel guilty. But I know what we can handle - what I can handle - and I know this is the right choice for our family.

[divegirl]

Is that kid in high school now or what?

Hahahaha, almost. She's definitely a threenager.

[SB]

I agree, some people should not be parents, thankfully rodneyvee is one of them.

Agreed

[TWINS]

Divegirl, you need to post a picture of the mini maggot on skis

[KenJongIll]

As a father of 1 and only 1, Thank you for this post.
I started very late. Sometimes I feel guilty for not giving my kid a sibling. But also know that I wouldn't be able to give her some of the things she has now, if we had another. Is one more important than the other? I don't know.
My daughter is incredible, and challenging but I have no regrets. You do get funny looks from other parents when you say you're just having one...of course it's the same for single people and couples before they have children...

So, there is no right answer but you're right?

On my first point, I probably didn't state it well, but my point is just that parenting is pretty overwhelming for me, and the thought of starting over is even more overwhelming. The reality is that some people come easily to parenting (not saying anyone finds it easy), some people find the whole process less daunting and draining. I didn't always intend to be a parent, and coming at it fairly late in life, I found it quite hard to give up my settled ways (and still find it hard, but less so, with my kid almost 4). So the thought of having another, well, it makes me feel like I might lose myself entirely, ya know? "I'm a father, that's it" is not "it" for me.

As for the sibling thing, well, most only children I know are very self-confident, not afraid of being alone, and yet still very social. I don't read studies on this, I just know what I see. And I also know people who are not close with their siblings. And I feel like there will be greater opportunities for me to do things with my daughter than would be there if I had another kid (in part because of money, I don't think I could afford another one!, but also in part because of the different relationship).

There's nothing wrong with having a second kid, but there's nothing wrong with not wanting one. Parents who have only one are not "depriving" their kid of anything, and being happy with your choice is not a reason to make people feel bad for making a different choice.