It's Official: There's a New Worst Movie Ever Fucking Made

[The Reverend Floater]

...And it's called Act of Valor.

Holy shit, fuck you Netflix. Fuck you, impulse decision to hit the play button on a terribly reviewed movie. And a huge fuck you to whomever cooked this half baked turd sandwich soaked in cock snot. If you had told me there was a way to create a plot that pitted 15 horrible, horrible actors set as Navy Seals against an enemy comprised of...wait for it...Chechneyan-Muslim extremist-Central American Drug Lord-Somalian-Russian-Juarez Cartel-East Asian Muslim terrorists (I'm not even fucking kidding), I would have said only if Michael Bay was involved. But alas, some other dong blaster pulled it off with a blazing vigor that couldn't possibly be equaled.

The acting was hands-down the worst I've ever seen.
The action scenes were horrible, with some sort of failed attempt at first person shooters-turned movie.
The soundtrack sounded like it was straight out of a community college commercial.
The directing was...was there a director? He should be set on fire, allowed to burn, then put out with a thousand dicks.

I seriously dare you to watch this movie. I dare you. Fuck.

[huckbucket]

But it's made with real bits of Navy Seal. So you know it must be good.

[spook]

christian bale?

[Chainsaw_Willie]

Sounds like it might be more entertaining than Judge Dredd (Stallone version), which up to this point is my nomination for most unwatchable movie ever made.

There's something to be said for movies that are so bad they're amusing. Could this be one of those?

[The Reverend Floater]

There's something to be said for movies that are so bad they're amusing. Could this be one of those?

No. Save yourself, Willie. Dammit, save yourself!

[waxman]

look on the bright side you could have bought the book because you didn't read the cover closely when you were walking through the airport...
note to self; Tom Clancy is a sell out,
"Tom Clancy presents Act of Valor"

[Benny Profane]

Sounds like they needed Keanu Reeves to save the day.

[Hayduke]

...... some other dong blaster ......

.....set on fire, allowed to burn, then put out with a thousand dicks......

Just a quick thank you Rev. The next time anyone pisses me off, even my mother, these exact words will be used.

[Diamond Joe]

horrible, horrible actors set as Navy Seals.

thats probably cuz they weren't actors. they were Navy SEALs. dipshit

[The Reverend Floater]

thats probably cuz they weren't actors. they were Navy SEALs. dipshit

Then it's pretty fuckin' sad that they can't even play themselves. Imagine if they were set as hobbits! Oh the humanity!

[Chainsaw_Willie]

Why would you make a movie with Navy Seals playing themselves? It's not a documentary, is it?

[nogophers]

Sounded like a shitty movie, but it made over $70 million in box office receipts. Since these guys were active military, I'm guessing they didn't get paid Hollywood wages.

http://boxofficemojo.com/movies/alph...etter=A&p=.htm

[Diamond Joe]

Why would you make a movie with Navy Seals playing themselves? It's not a documentary, is it?

It was like, a dramatization. Real SEALs, fictional (but plausable) story.

I liked it

thought the "1st person" angles they showed were innovative, and cool for an intended audience (me included) of people who have wasted bad guys in video games their whole lives..

Liked the story, liked the locations, liked the stunts.

You gotta take if for what it is; a 90 minute NAVY recruiting ad with all the explosions and guns and dead terrorists you can fit in!

[single]

Then it's pretty fuckin' sad that they can't even play themselves. Imagine if they were set as hobbits! Oh the humanity!

Hahahahahaha

[Hott Butt Mud]

I thought it was kind of cool.

I actually downloaded a torrent version way early (maybe even before it was in theaters). It was weird because the version I saw showed the little drones used as a kind of robot bird. The drone was in the shape of a large bird and the wings even flapped like a bird.

The theatrical version changed the drone to just be a plastic looking airplane.

My guess is that the military didn't want people to see that they in fact use these bird look-a-like drones?? In the movie, the bird drone looked more life-size than the one linked below.

http://diydrones.com/profiles/blogs/...ize-this-drone

[OldSchool1080s]

Sounds like it might be more entertaining than Judge Dredd (Stallone version), which up to this point is my nomination for most unwatchable movie ever made.

There's something to be said for movies that are so bad they're amusing. Could this be one of those?

That shit was an epic fucking waste

Sent from my PC36100 using TGR Forums

[Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo]

Then it's pretty fuckin' sad that they can't even play themselves. Imagine if they were set as hobbits! Oh the humanity!

My brother-in-law had two of his BUDS instructors that were on set as consultant/advisors and they told him the running joke on set was what horrible actors they all were.

[Anthem]

I found, to my surprise, a gem of a movie on netflix a few weeks ago. It is one of those rare gems that has somehow escaped both the mainstream movie crowd and it seems like it is somewhat unknown amongst the indie crowd, too. Anyways, excellent acting, original story line with a bullet proof plot. It is an exceptional movie and I highly recommend that YOU WATCH IT TONIGHT. Name of the masterpiece is Thankskilling.

[Viva]

comprised of...wait for it...Chechneyan-Muslim extremist-Central American Drug Lord-Somalian-Russian-Juarez Cartel-East Asian Muslim terrorists

Dood, that's not a movie premise, that's Obama's new cabinet.

[Diamond Joe]

Lets not get crazy here. The worst movie ever made was "Battlefield Earth". Or possibly "Species"

Act of Valor is not even in the conversation

[Hott Butt Mud]

No dude, it's got to be one of the Tyler Perry Madea movies.

[Benny Profane]

There's something to be said for movies that are so bad they're amusing. Could this be one of those?

I miss Mystery Science Theater 3000.

[Hugh Conway]

I miss Mystery Science Theater 3000.

http://www.rifftrax.com/
they haven't gotten around to act of valor yet

[dookeyXXX]

Act of Valor may very well be the "New Worst Movie Ever F@#king Made", but obviously they did a whiz-bang job on marketing since they got you to watch it.


That said, in reference to this:

I found, to my surprise, a gem of a movie on netflix a few weeks ago. It is one of those rare gems that has somehow escaped both the mainstream movie crowd and it seems like it is somewhat unknown amongst the indie crowd, too. Anyways, excellent acting, original story line with a bullet proof plot. It is an exceptional movie and I highly recommend that YOU WATCH IT TONIGHT. Name of the masterpiece is Thankskilling.

Apparently Thankskilling was so awesome that they skipped doing a sequel and went straight to the threequel!





PS
the obvious difference between a "bad" movie like Thankskilling and a bad movie like Act of Valor is that Thankskilling is loaded with camp and has it's tongue planted firmly in beak, whereas Act of Valor was meant to be a serious movie.

[Diamond Joe]

No dude, it's got to be one of the Tyler Perry Madea movies.

Lol "Witness Protection" FTW!!!