Douches amongst us. What's the worst you've been subjected to?

[Sicks]

I bartend. Tonight I had a couple guys come in, one was a bit tuned. He's the nozzle. He opened a tab, yet he pulls out a twenty to buy a round, AND LICKS it. Licked a bill and tries to hand it to me. Like why not just spit on me? I told him "I bet the last guy to have that bill had just rubbed one out before putting it in his wallet". I hope he gets herpes.

[dynodonkeyaltabird]

I hope you took the $20 and still put the round on his tab.

[bushman]

A round for $20. He must have a small circle of friends or you work in a dive.

[smartyiak]

Lawyers.

[My Pet Powder Goat]

Ahh Service industry gigs are great for spotting douchebags.
I work property management during the winter in PC, and when some douche rents a nice unit, and has a problem. (granted a minor problem) they start in with telling me how many thousands of dollars they spent. I give a cold stare and walk away. sorry don't care.

Once a guy was screaming at one of the front desk girls. He had two daughters with him not much younger then the receptionist, all I could think was "how would you like it if some douche treated your daughters like that?"

Thats one think I like about working bar over guest service for hotels and such, you can usually tell people to "get fucked" if they are being obnoxious, and not lose your job

[Tippster]

Thats one think I like about working bar over guest service for hotels and such, you can usually tell people to "get fucked" if they are being obnoxious, and not lose your job

Unless you work in a real shithole that's simply not true.

[My Pet Powder Goat]

Unless you work in a real shithole that's simply not true.

yep. Pretty much. (in regards to the "shithole" comment)

When dealing with drunks/a-holes in an irish pub/ dive bar setting you are afforded some leeway. If anyone acts out of line; stop serving them, or kick em out. Manager had our back.

Maybe check out a bar somewhere outside the beltway sometime.

[stuckathuntermtn]

$20 could more than by a round, especially when there are specials and stuff, and here there is no sales tax. So with something like $3 drink specials or whatever, even with 5 of us, $20 would cover a round and a decent tip.
definitely not outta line to not take a licked bill from a guy who is already tuned up. You probably couldn't tell him to fuck off, but you can express as much in nicer words. If he was that obnoxiously drunk, the bouncers shouldn't have even let him in.


Also, Asians are the worst customers ever, simply because they ask every possible noob question that can be ask AT LEAST THREE FUCKING TIMES.
Eastern Europeans always try to bargain. Which is annoying.

Had a guy try to impress me because he was buying a hundred dollar stereo at Radio Shack. Something like "that's a lot of money". I kept my mouth shut about the thousands of dollars of ski sales I had over the previous years. Had another guy try to sell me in on his pyramid scheme. Again, he tried to impress me by saying he knew these millionaires who invented this sports drink. The best was he started his sales approach by asking if I was into sports or working or whatever and I told him I was an avid skier/biker. then he asks if I was into nutrition. I laughed a no, and he continued on like I said yes. Of course, he had said he was new in town so asking what one did for fun in Bozeman wasn't out of the ordinary.
Never really had too many douches who wanted to go off at me. Even turned a few people around who were having a bad day or complaining about some such.

It's hard, though. I've definitely been an asshole myself once or twice.

I think everyone should have to work customer service at one time in their life. Whenever I need something that is a big deal, or whatever, I'm pretty apologetic.

Sent from my cell phone. no, a cell phone.

[DasBlunt]

Unless you work in a real shithole that's simply not true.

Kinda like telling customers to stfu!

[zion zig zag]

I was sitting at dinner at a local Thai place the other night with my girlfriend and kids when a young girl dressed like a hooker walks in followed closely by an Ed Hardy, jeans with stylized pockets wearing douche. He had the full mark of douche with shaved sides of his head and a mullet, and just to give the final douche notice he belched loudly while walking in. His girl walks to the table in front of him, and she has a tight little package and is showing it off, dressed like she's heading to the beach. An old man sitting near us takes a glance and sir-douchey snaps his fingers at him and tells him to keep his eyes to himself. Of course this sets me off laughing and I'm even more determined to stare at his girlfriend.

We continue to eat dinner and stare at them at talk loudly about the douchiness that we've observed. I get up to pay the bill while he is coming back from the restroom and apparently, he gives me the hard look back as I walk past. I didn't hear that until later from my girlfriend as she was worried about confrontation, but apparently he only instigates confrontation with 75 year old men.

[Bromontana]

I'm pretty sure it's non-douche protocol to minimize contact with the douche people. Part of that is not engaging the douche people when you see them in the wild.

[jm2e]

When I waited tables in Atlanta, every black customer wanted a straw for every drink. I had a guy not start his beer for 10 minutes because he needed a straw in it. Weird phenomenon. Does this happen elsewhere or with different groups?

[wicked_sick]

Once a fat bitch climbed up on a table to dump beer on my head because I am tall and was blocking her view of the stage. That night didn't end well.

[BackCountryNC]

Anybody wearing Tapout clothes.

[stuckathuntermtn]

I'm pretty sure it's non-douche protocol to minimize contact with the douche people. Part of that is not engaging the douche people when you see them in the wild.

Great risk one faces if choosing to fight a douche. May a douche himself become. Tempting the Dark Side is. Hair gel? hmf. Working out? hmf. Tanning? hmf. A brobrah craves not these things.

[AK47bp]

I bartend. Tonight I had a couple guys come in, one was a bit tuned. He's the nozzle. He opened a tab, yet he pulls out a twenty to buy a round, AND LICKS it. Licked a bill and tries to hand it to me. Like why not just spit on me? I told him "I bet the last guy to have that bill had just rubbed one out before putting it in his wallet". I hope he gets herpes.

My guess is he was crushing pills earlier with the bill to snort and/or using it as a coke straw. Wanted to get a taste before handing it over.

[doughboyshredder]

My guess is he was crushing pills earlier with the bill to snort and/or using it as a coke straw. Wanted to get a taste before handing it over.

Yep. Hadn't thought of that, but you're dead on.

Idiot was licking up any diseases his friends transferred on to the bill (not to mention all the shit, blood, and cum, that had accumulated on the bill over time).

[TheDon]

This thread rules, it is definitely going to be a keeper.

I could do without the racist stereotypes though. Being a douche has nothing to do with being Asian, Black or anything else. Plenty of White D-nozz's out there.

[Downbound Train]

The Obama administration.

[spook]

Also, Asians are the worst customers ever, simply because they ask every possible noob question that can be ask AT LEAST THREE FUCKING TIMES.
Eastern Europeans always try to bargain. Which is annoying.

I've definitely been an asshole myself once or twice..

once or twice... tee hee!

[spook]

When I waited tables in Atlanta, every black customer wanted a straw for every drink. I had a guy not start his beer for 10 minutes because he needed a straw in it. Weird phenomenon. Does this happen elsewhere or with different groups?

haha. restaurant whitey falls for that shit every fucking time. why those folks always asking for straws? it don't matter, servant. fetch me my straws.

[cramer]

The biggest douches ive ran into referred to their girlfriends of multiple years as "cum dumpsters". 2nd place comes into the douchebags who use the dating sites to get laid and ruin a girls dream guy. If your stooping to that level, sorry, your a DOUCHE. Ive meet both types in my life and can only shake my head. Felt sorry for the girls, but what can you do. they have zero self esteem but yet hot and could kill it if they had the know how.

[Bromontana]

Great risk one faces if choosing to fight a douche. May a douche himself become. Tempting the Dark Side is. Hair gel? hmf. Working out? hmf. Tanning? hmf. A brobrah craves not these things.

You're wandering Hunter. Away from Albany apparently, you in a mtn town?

The biggest douches ive ran into referred to their girlfriends of multiple years as "cum dumpsters". 2nd place comes into the douchebags who use the dating sites to get laid and ruin a girls dream guy.

Jesus, wtf. I'd rather go backpacking.

[stuckathuntermtn]

I'm from nyc and westcchesta, now I live in Missoula.
People here are pretty cool, but there is one bar where they find the cast of Jersey Shore to patronize it. I didn't even know that was possible around here. I cannot go to the Bodega without someone trying to fight me or my friends for no reason.

That said, I thought my Yoda/Star Wars spoof would be a bigger hit.

Sent from my cell phone. no, a cell phone.

[toast2266]

Met this guy who was really proud that he once banged an autistic chick. The next morning, she asked him to drive her home. He refused, and instead instructed her to call a cab. He told her to tell the cabbie that she'd just had a one night stand, and that the cabbie would give her a free ride home. He watched her try to talk the cabbie into a free ride home and then locked the house so she couldn't come back in after she realized that the cabbie was not willing to drive her home for free.

He told a group of us this story like it was the funniest thing in the world. Later that night, I saw him passed out face down in his own puke. Left him there.