Yesterday's bike commute went badly

[Sirshredalot]

So I ride into work yesterday and discover I have forgotten my underpants. No big deal. I ain't scared to freeball it for a day. I get to step through the shower before I go to work. No big meetings planned. My pants are clean and I don't have the shits or anything. Whatever.

Towards the end of the day, I'm feeling punchy and the cold I know I have is creeping up on me. I let the boss know that I'm getting the crud and I want to bounce early so I can take my bike home on the train. Once again, no big deal.

As I'm pulling my bike up out of the garage underneath our office tower downtown, a car creeps up behind me. So I swing my leg up over the bike to ride to the train station and get out of their way. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiip goes my pants. I can immediately feel the breeze on my cheeks and on the satchel. So I sit down and try to pinch the slacks shut on the saddle.

At this point, my fate is sealed. I have to ride home through city traffic, and if I ever stand up or get off the bike, my nuts will definitely be dangling out. The route home is mostly uphill and I'm riding a fixie.

Anyhow, I made it home without getting arrested or having anyone obviously acknowledge seeing my boys, but there were probably a couple intersections where someone saw the brown eye winking at them if they were looking. I'd like to say that I'm sorry if you had to see my sweaty asshole during your commute, but I'm not.

Have a nice day.

[ferniebiker]

Wow, you just made my Friday afternoon, I salute you!

[Larry Craig]

I followed you for 7 blocks until I finally passed out from orgasmic rapture.

Thank you for making my day.

[grinch]

Commando commute. Nice save

[SB]

You need a new bike seat?

I got an old spare around some where, no skid marks.

[DeathVan]

.

Have a nice day.

Right back at ya

butt

[ACH]

that was the lulz, thanks for that!
Hope your cold passes quick.

[systemoverblow'd]

Last paragraph was the best.

[smslavin]

ha! awesome. i've had those days. thanks for making my afternoon.

when i lived in seattle, i commuted every day. one morning i took the final corner to the office a bit too fast. hit a pot hole and blew the front tire. no where to go but down and a nice raspberry on the left check was the result. there's nothing quite like trying to patch yourself up in the corporate bathroom half naked...

[XtrPickels]

I'm duly impressed.

[Theodore]

Hahahaha

[BigDaddy]

Funny as hell... right up there with some of the Old Larry stories.

[Sirshredalot]

You need a new bike seat?

I got an old spare around some where, no skid marks.

No, I actually have an extra around here somewhere. But I have one for sale real cheap.

[Blizzard7763]

You know, if your bike had gears you wouldn't have to stand up at intersections.

[leroy jenkins]

I find your humiliation incredibly amusing.

[jm2e]

God hates Fixies. Take that as a warning.

[Meadow Skipper]

How do you "forget" your underwear? I'm genuinely curious because you're the second person that I've heard that from in a month. The first was a woman wearing a skirt heading into some bleachers. It went like this:
"Uh oh..."

"What?"

"Um..."