Brother has gone off the rails: how do I get him to seek help?

**Flyoverland Captive** · 12-26-2012, 09:56 PM

:-). Me too. 83 and still goes on every fire call in his hometown; more than 50 years of volunteer service. I try to be half the man he is, and usually fall short.

[/drift]

**MTT** · 12-26-2012, 10:24 PM

Hey sorry to hear about this. So I live near Reno, If you ever hear that bottom has been found and help requested, I would go scrape up you brother and? What it takes to just survive.

Vibes.

**Flyoverland Captive** · 12-26-2012, 10:27 PM

Thanks; I really appreciate it. I hope I never have to call you for anything other than to share a brew or some freshies.

**Flyoverland Captive** · 11-15-2017, 03:49 PM

Updating this old diary.

Folks just visited him in Reno. He’s living with his girlfriend, working a shit job, drinking every day. He lost his license because he didn’t bother to renew it; now he has to take the tests and start from scratch. He drives to work 4 days a week anyway.

His GF set him up with an interview with a friend of hers (a good construction job). He showed up to the interview barefoot, purposefully tanking it. He stopped drinking for two days when my folks were there; he was shaking all the time, and had a seizure at one point. Total DTs. They dragged him to a doctor for blood tests; results are pending.

He knows he’s an alcoholic, but his underlying depression is untreated, so he self-medicates with wine.

Fuck.

More updates when the test results come in...

**GeezerSteve** · 11-15-2017, 03:50 PM

Yikers. Vibes to your bro

SB · 11-15-2017, 04:03 PM

I wish ya luck bro, he has got to hit rock bottom and realize it himself.

**willywhit** · 11-15-2017, 04:12 PM

Reno is close to Tahoe. Does he ski ? Mountain life might save this sinking ship

**Flyoverland Captive** · 11-15-2017, 04:14 PM

Originally Posted by willywhit

Reno is close to Tahoe. Does he ski ? Mountain life might save this sinking ship

He doesn't do any sports at all. I tried to get him skis a few years ago, but he never followed through. He has a bike that's "broken", so he can't (won't) ride it.

**Marshall Tucker** · 11-15-2017, 04:22 PM

That's just really sad. :-(

**Skidog** · 11-15-2017, 04:25 PM

Vibes man. Alcohol is fucked. Does he do the weed? Maybe that'll help. Heard some success stories on the opioid side and MJ treatment so... The detox part will be the bitch and from what I know scares alcoholics the most about giving up the bottle.

Hope this turns out for the best.

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**willywhit** · 11-15-2017, 04:35 PM

Originally Posted by Flyoverland Captive

He doesn't do any sports at all. I tried to get him skis a few years ago, but he never followed through. He has a bike that's "broken", so he can't (won't) ride it.

like a metaphor. broken
booze will rob you of so much

**Flyoverland Captive** · 11-15-2017, 04:44 PM

Skidog, I think he smokes a little (his girlfriend is functionally stoned all day, and has a good job); but he prefers wine. I’d rather see him stoned all day than drunk, but he’s chosen his vice.

**iceman** · 11-15-2017, 04:54 PM

Honestly I'm a little amazed he's still alive but I guess I actually have no idea how old he is, I figured pretty old for some reason.

But as long as he's still kicking there's a chance, here's hoping he takes it and makes it back.

**Flyoverland Captive** · 11-15-2017, 04:56 PM

He’s 48. A rough 48.

**iceman** · 11-15-2017, 05:51 PM

If someone's been drinking a lot for a long time, quitting is very scary, it can be life-threatening (note the seizure and DT's you said he already had). I've known people who really wanted to quit but didn't because they were afraid of dying. Detox is the only answer there, see if he'll go. Once he gets a bit of clean time he may be a different person. Maybe not too.

Alcohol's the only drug that can kill you for quitting it. That's pretty fucked.

**Skidog** · 11-15-2017, 06:22 PM

Originally Posted by iceman

Alcohol's the only drug that can kill you for quitting it. That's pretty fucked.

Yep not heroin or meth or on and on. It's the legal drug that can kill you simply from trying to stop. Makes total sense.

Alcohol was 100% my gateway drug.

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**old goat** · 11-15-2017, 08:14 PM

Originally Posted by iceman

If someone's been drinking a lot for a long time, quitting is very scary, it can be life-threatening (note the seizure and DT's you said he already had). I've known people who really wanted to quit but didn't because they were afraid of dying. Detox is the only answer there, see if he'll go. Once he gets a bit of clean time he may be a different person. Maybe not too.

Alcohol's the only drug that can kill you for quitting it. That's pretty fucked.

^^^^ He should definitely not try to stop alcohol cold turkey again. Like the man says--acute alcohol withdrawal can be lethal. Acutally that applies to benzodiazapines, like Valium, Xanax, etc, as well. And barbiturates, quaaludes, and other downers (are those drugs available any more). Hospital is the only safe place to detox for a heavy user.

**MagnificentUnicorn** · 11-15-2017, 08:20 PM

Originally Posted by old goat

^^^^ He should definitely not try to stop alcohol cold turkey again. Like the man says--acute alcohol withdrawal can be lethal. Acutally that applies to benzodiazapines, like Valium, Xanax, etc, as well. And barbiturates, quaaludes, and other downers (are those drugs available any more). Hospital is the only safe place to detox for a heavy user.

The irony is that they use benzos to treat symptom of alcohol withdrawal.

**Alaskan Rover** · 11-16-2017, 06:09 AM

Wow!

First....the alcohol isn't really the issue, it's merely a symptom.

He is exhibiting classic self-destructive behavior....showing up barefoot to a good interview seems evidence that he wants to ensure he isn't given any breaks....because that won't fit with his agenda of punishing himself.

He needs help in finding out why he punishes himself. What happened (even just in his mind) deep in his past...maybe (probably, even) his childhood. Regression therapy may help with this. Hypnotherapy may also provide real answers. It isn't just charlatan nonsense....I've seen it work wonders.

You can be pretty sure his issues are buried deep within the onion. Treating alcoholism as key issue will be USELESS until the underlying cause is addressed. I can't stress that enough.

It looks like he has been screaming for help for years (decades, right?), but in HIS mind, no one has been listening to his cries. I REALLY do recommend hypnotherapy. It is NOT the type of hypnotherapy used to stop smoking or overeating....it is entirely different and should not be confused with that. I just can't remember the name of it. A good psychologist involved in regression therapy would know.

Sincere good luck

**Harry** · 11-16-2017, 11:37 AM

I have nothing to add to this thread other than sincere vibes for the OP and his family.

**detrusor** · 11-16-2017, 11:49 AM

Agree with etoh being the symptom. I treated all my demons that way, much much scarier to face them sober. He’ll need to get clean and face them before he turns it around. Otherwise you’re just a “sober drunk” which can be worse from a destructive standpoint.

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