The Annals of Searching: Alaska 2012

[pales]

Around mid February while having a pretty sweet winter in Hakuba, llyon and I agreed it was time to organize a spring trip. We’d always wanted to go on a Norway boat trip, but I had just gotten fired from my job and Lee wasn’t exactly rolling in the cash with a five-figure salary (including decimals). We agreed we both missed bacon and beer a lot, so where should we go? I’ll tell you where.



Someplace cold. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I’m talking about a little place called Alaska. And yes, we can now both attest the French are assholes.













We purchased an rv from a rental company with an agreement they would buy it back if all was in good condition for about $2,000 less. The drive to Thompson pass in late March was one of the most terrifying I’ve ever done, knowing if anything on the rv broke, we would be up the Richardson Highway, broke, and without an rv. With $45 collectively to our names, we somehow made it.













Neither of us had skied in Alaska before, so our “small and simple warm-up” objective the following day resulted in cursing, fatigue, awesomeness, getting “Chugached”. The term ‘Big Alaskan Women’ can refer to more than just the girls in this state. Her mountains are gorgeous behemoths that are not to be trifled with. The weather gods smiled upon us, allowing Lee and I to fall into a routine of slogging up and skiing down the velvety smooth, terrifyingly steep slopes this maiden had to offer.

[pales]

While in Hakuba, we had received interest from a few people to join us in Alaska. As it turned out, the trip to the promised land wasn’t as realistic to some of our friends as hoped. Miles was the only one from Japan who ended up in Alaska, and She greeted him with open arms, nestling him into her bosom while pouring fine wine into his mouth from an oenochoe. Ok, so by oenochoe I mean plastic handle, and by ‘fine wine’ I mean cheap whisky, but bosoms are bosoms and Miles nestled himself into the thick of it from the very beginning.





















A few days after Miles, our friend Will arrived. The whole crew was finally here (and things were getting a bit cramped in the rv). Lots more notable skiing and climbing occurred. Like adolescents who had just realized boobies are great, we ogled peaks constantly, unabashed by that awkward moment when she looks back.















Late April. She had been good to us, but in Her vehement independence, was constantly making us woo Her, nothing came easily. Miles said he knew some people in the marketing department of Alyeska, and could hook the group up with some lift tickets. Intrigued by the thought of affordable mechanized uphill, and in the mood to shift gears and see some more of Alaska, we drove through Glennallen, Anchorage, and down the Turnagain Arm.

[pales]

We enjoyed a few days of riding chairlifts, then the corn harvest commenced on the Kenai Peninsula. Long days in the fields were plentiful, and the corn turns left everyone smiling. I’m not sure if it’s due to corn’s fickle nature, or if it’s because I ski powder much more often than corn, but I really do enjoy corn skiing and the rewarding feeling when things come together.



















In mid-May, the weather became more volatile, and it seemed our good luck might be running out. She was reminding us that we may nestle our face in between Her breasts frequently, however we cannot shake our faces side to side while attempting to sound like an Evinrude 2 stroke. She is the boss, and we have to know it. In exchange for several down days, Lee and I were given a great window of powder skiing at Turnagain Pass.

[pales]

Unfortunately, after this bit of high pressure, Alaska decide we’d had enough. No more would she let us unbutton her blouse, grope her voluptuous curves, and partake in the carnal pleasures at the root of man’s instinct. Temperatures rose, rain fell, and snow melted at an alarming rate. Alaska had locked her salmon canyons away for the rest of the trip. We did our best to make the most of camping, visiting breweries, and not getting eaten alive by mosquitoes.









Our next to last day in the wonderful state, we woke to high pressure. Just as we were forgetting what the sun looked like, Alaska was back. Her hair was in golden trestles billowing in the wind. She was topless (of course), and beckoning to us like the mysterious harlot She was. We made the most of this last day, and did our best to ignore Her siren song trying to make us change our minds. A quick ski near Summit Lake was in order. The turns were manky, and half of them were on grass, but even bad heroin is still heroin, we were grinning from a euphoric high by the bottom.









A few days later I found myself at a train station waiting to get picked up. Thanks to canceled and delayed flights, my bags were strewn across the country, I was deliriously tired, and wasn’t sure if the text I had gotten from my brother a few hours ago which used the words “maybe” and “not” in conjunction meant I would be spending another night sleeping in a chair. Feeling relatively clean because it had only been 5 days since my last shower, and with a beard and long hair that, on a scale of New York businessman to Grizzly Adams, made me feel only slightly out of place, I couldn’t help but smile. Alaska happened, and it worked!





I condensed and made this a more collective friendly report from things I’d posted on my blog. Much like with this and the Hakuba report, I will post regularly there, and consolidate things at the end of a trip here. I’m starting to get a posting system dialed, so hopefully stoke won’t be so delayed in the future. Thanks for reading.

[Stymie]

Fucking awesome.

[gointhedistance]

Great pic

Great TR - Ya' done well.

Thanks for a good start to a Tuesday...

[Kirby]

Sweet TR!

Thanks for sharing.

[criscam]

hell! yea!

[chaka]

F Yeah. LOVE the non-heli AK stoke. thanks for sharing!

[ex-powderbroker]

Probably going to bump this for years, awesome trip!

[BmillsSkier]

5 out of 5 stars! A must read!

[DasBlunt]

Amazing read and even better shots. What a great way to start the day, thanks!

[tillPOWdidwepart]

That was wonderful!!! Thanks!!!

[josef]

Great thread. Youve done a great job of capturing how steep some of those faces really are.

[klar]

so many great shots, thank you! i miss winter.

[gforce]

Some consistently really nice images that accompany the awesome story!
Thanks for the memories.
Very well done.

[forest]

awesome, thanks for that. much needed.

[TeleThor]

This = couloiriffic. Well done. How'd you survive on 45 bucks?

[pfluffenmeister]

very tasty indeed.

[snapt]

What tgr's all about. Nice.

[splat]

WoW. Adventure delivered. Thanks for sharing.
What camera were you shooting?
Please tell me it's a lightweight pocket unit.

Some of those shots are deep.
I started trippin' on this one.
Then saw lots more.

[pales]

How'd you survive on 45 bucks?

We both transferred money from savings to checking accounts the day before we left, but it took a few days to clear so when we first bought the rv all of our money got put into that. After selling the rv back we ended up doing the trip for right around $3,000 with flights. I'd like to think that's pretty cheap for 2.5 months...

What camera were you shooting?
Please tell me it's a lightweight pocket unit.

I shot this trip with a Nikon D3100. Sorry, but there was no lightweight pocket unit. With long days that necessitated 2 liters of water, I felt like I had Yoda hanging on back there at times.

[neck beard]

Man. wow. Making it happen. You reap what you sow.

[I've seen black diamonds!]

Amazing. Thanks.

[doughboyshredder]

So freaking rad.