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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Central OR
    Posts
    4,927

    Being naked in my backyard: Why I live in the country

    I am sipping a Longhammer IPA, reading Scientific American, listening to the dulcet tones of Pulshar cranked waaaaay too loud, surrounded by two dogs, three cats, and five chickens. And I'm naked. I can't ever live in a city again.

    Who else likes to tan their goolies on the lawn, without risking a sex offender ticket?

  2. #2
    Bobby Stainless Guest
    I am a big fan. I can only do it when I am in FL though.

    Furthermore I hate swimsuits.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    in a box on the porch
    Posts
    4,235
    For the love of God , please DO NOT post pics .

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    San Juan Islands, WA.
    Posts
    825
    When I moved here one of my friends told me to live in a place that you can "pee off the deck and walk around the outside of your house naked (without offending anyone)", it was good advice.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Stuck in perpetual Meh
    Posts
    35,288
    Quote Originally Posted by Bobby Stainless View Post
    I am a big fan. I can only do it when I am in FL though.

    Furthermore I hate swimsuits.
    No bullshit: The wife and I went diving in the Bahamas a few years ago. There was only one other couple on the boat (35-40, neither good looking nor ugly) and the guy asked us if it would be OK if he dove naked. We laughed and said we didnt't mind.

    A fish bit his dick - confirmed by the dive master. Luckily for him it was only a juvenile Yellow Tail Jack, not a toothy fish (or Parrot/Trigger fish - ugh). Funniest thing I've ever had someone tell me on a boat.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    People's Republic of MN
    Posts
    5,222
    Quote Originally Posted by Flyoverland Captive View Post
    I am sipping a Longhammer IPA
    I'm thinking you're sipping one now cuz you've already pounded about 5... Perv.
    Gravity. It's the law.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    9,023
    Quit lying you dirty hippy. You're in the city and you got jorts on!


  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Central OR
    Posts
    4,927
    Axe, you are correct... Lol. Post-ride rewards. Moved on to Earthless' "Live at Roadburn", but still airing out my teabag, to the dismay of my dogs, who are generally pretty embarrassed to be seen with me.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    the edge of wuss cliff
    Posts
    17,239

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Moose, Iowa
    Posts
    5,840
    Quote Originally Posted by Tippster View Post
    A fish bit his dick - confirmed by the dive master. Luckily for him it was only a juvenile Yellow Tail Jack, not a toothy fish (or Parrot/Trigger fish - ugh). Funniest thing I've ever had someone tell me on a boat.
    I don't swim naked but I had a little fish bite a mole on by back. It mangled the mole a little and when I went to the doctor a month later for a routine physical he was all worried and sent be to my dermatologist who insisted it be removed and tested. I don't think they were buying the fish story. I tested fine but the whole deal came in under my deductible so that little fish set me back a few hundred dollars.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    EC
    Posts
    2,343
    That fish is an asshole.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Raht neer da beech
    Posts
    1,135
    and I thought shitting with the door open was freedom

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    co
    Posts
    2,302
    My little boy has taken my lead and pees outside constantly. Whenever I go to one of my friends house I never pee inside. Told him his indoor restroom was offensive.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    n to the h
    Posts
    844
    and I thought I had moved up in the world as only one neighbor can see into my backyard, rather than 5 or 6 living in the city.

    Thought I was country, but not country enough.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    The Padded Room
    Posts
    5,311
    Swimming naked, one of life's simple pleasures.
    .....Visit my website. .....

    "a yin without a yang"

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    The Mayonnaisium
    Posts
    6,948
    Quote Originally Posted by Loon View Post
    and I thought shitting with the door open was freedom
    ODDP

    1234

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Ventura Highway in the Sunshine
    Posts
    21,332
    Are you hitting on me?

    I agree it is a constitutional right for Americans to be assholes...its just too bad that so many take the opportunity...
    iscariot

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Central OR
    Posts
    4,927
    Quote Originally Posted by hutash View Post
    Are you hitting on me?
    Yes. Can you grab that tube of sunscreen? Thanks... I could use a little right here... No, close; a bit lower... Ahh, that's it- now work it in with repetitive, slow strokes...

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    in a van down by the river
    Posts
    2,773
    Shit if I sat out nekkid drinking beer the bugs would be happy, me not so much.
    I don't work and I don't save, desperate women pay my way.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    People's Republic of MN
    Posts
    5,222
    Quote Originally Posted by Flyoverland Captive View Post
    Yes. Can you grab that tube of sunscreen? Thanks... I could use a little right here... No, close; a bit lower... Ahh, that's it- now work it in with repetitive, slow strokes...
    You should have quit while you were ahead. Now you crossed that fine line. SVU will be arriving soon. I suggest you finish that beer - it will make things much more "enjoyable" where you are headed...Nancy...
    Gravity. It's the law.

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    EWA
    Posts
    14,650
    ^bump.

    Couldn't resist. Needed a laugh today.
    Kindness is a bridge between all people

    Dunkiní Donuts Worker Dances With Customer Who Has Autism

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Central OR
    Posts
    4,927
    Hah! Forgot about this thread. Iíve since moved, but still no neighbors.

    Now youíve given me an idea...

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    11,994
    When I moved into my home in 2006 it was "in the country", now? Not so much.

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    vernon
    Posts
    2,391
    My house faces the lake so as long as there are no boats close I do it all the time. Lots of skinny dipping too. Wife loves it.
    www.skevikskis.com Check em out!

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    here and there
    Posts
    14,835
    Haha, Long hammer ale. I may modifiy it to BIG hammer Ale for a future beah name.
    watch out for snakes

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