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Thread: Deep thoughts
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06-04-2012, 05:58 PM #1
Deep thoughts
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesnt open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.
Jack Handy
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06-05-2012, 08:41 AM #2
I go go Jack Handy quotes all day.
“My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth - that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally - but I didn't want to upset him.”
“What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk?”
And my all time fav:
"One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. “Oh, no,” I said, “DisneyLand burned down.” He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was getting pretty late."
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06-05-2012, 09:17 AM #3
still one of the funniest threads on TGR
http://www.tetongravity.com/forums/s...t=Jack%20Handy
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06-05-2012, 03:11 PM #4Registered User
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I always like this thread.
http://www.tetongravity.com/forums/s...ords-of-Wisdom
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06-05-2012, 03:25 PM #5Funky But Chic
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Both of those threads rock, where are the two bastards who did them???
I know who you bitches are.
It's cool in the Jack Handy thread how it was started right after the migration and the replies at the start of the thread reflect it (Jack was a PowMag staple). Ah, semi-youth, I miss it so.
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06-05-2012, 03:27 PM #6
Can you out them yet?
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06-05-2012, 03:34 PM #7Funky But Chic
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06-05-2012, 03:45 PM #8__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ________________
"We don't need predator control, we need whiner control. Anyone who complains that "the gummint oughta do sumpin" about the wolves and coyotes should be darted, caged, and released in a more suitable habitat for them, like the middle of Manhattan." - Spats
"I'm constantly doing things I can't do. Thats how I get to do them." - Pablo Picasso
Cisco and his wife are fragile idiots who breed morons.
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06-05-2012, 04:02 PM #9
Jack Handey has had a pretty good run at The New Yorker. I read this one while sitting on the toilet:
Jack Handey, "The Symbols of My Flag (and What They Mean)", The New Yorker, May 19, 2008
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06-05-2012, 04:13 PM #10
Heh. His most recent one: http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2012/..._shouts_handey
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06-05-2012, 04:18 PM #11
this made me subscribe to the forumz:
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06-05-2012, 04:43 PM #12
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06-05-2012, 07:44 PM #13
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06-05-2012, 09:45 PM #14
“I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.”
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06-05-2012, 09:52 PM #15
[/QUOTE]"One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. “Oh, no,” I said, “DisneyLand burned down.” He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was getting pretty late."[/QUOTE]
Oh shit this one is funny.
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07-06-2012, 05:42 PM #16Good-lookin' wool
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I couldn't sleep last night and my mind was running.
Why is the word "shit" a swear word and generally unacceptable in mixed company but the past tense is generally ok?
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