Euro TR: Strong Men Also Cry

[buckethead]

killed me with your description of the three countries through which you travelled!

yes, very classic.

more please.

edit : in the EC roll call tradition, some page top tunes for mr strummer:

[geo039]

Classic in a classic thread!

Nice work Joe! Keep it coming.

very spot on description of switzerland. disrespectful sex shop owners clearly not swiss.

[Cedrik]

Awesome TR! Can't wait for more.

[pfluffenmeister]

strong work.

more please.

[CarveMan]

Sometimes a trip begins with great promise, with a variety of cured meats, cheeses from an assortment of hooved mammals, liberal applications of sunblock, drinking chilled cans filled with centuries of monkish wisdom . . .

Was just looking through my logs, someone just found my site with the search term 'assiette savoyarde' - my work here is done.

[skifishbum]

cry if you want


quailty tr page 1 bump

[garyfromterrace]

Thanks Mr Strummer. Pure quality. The TR that all TRs pale against in the blinding light of this, the super novae of TRs. Can't wait for the next installment!

[tone capone]

Strummer is God!

[AsheanMT]

Just here to say that I'm always lurking about waiting for these kinds of TR's.

Carry on.

[gimpy]

wow man. that was really fun to read. awesomenessssss!!!!!!

[huckbucket]

Sometimes a trip begins with great promise, with a variety of cured meats, cheeses from an assortment of hooved mammals, liberal applications of sunblock, drinking chilled cans filled with centuries of monkish wisdom . . .

Charcuterie!

[grinch]

good stuff. great read. so going to France is sorta like going to Greece?

[JoeStrummer]

Since it was so warm in the lowlands, we were lured into higher elevations by the promise of cooler temperatures and impending snowfall. And for awhile, it had seemed like a fine idea to be in this wonderful alpine playground, where the peaks stretched for as far as you could see. . .


The promised snowfall indeed arrived and in the morning we awoke with only mild hangovers to a Jungfrau plastered in snow. . .


So we motored quickly across the glacier, hoping to take advantage of a small weather window and not fall in a crevasse . . .


However, when we got a few kilometers from the hut, the viz turned to shit and the snow hammered down. We made the decision to retreat, as certainly this system would push through quickly and the weather would improve to the point where we could actually see more than 50 meters. Then we would spend our days skiing knee-deep fresh and our nights eating and drinking and arguing the relative merits of Dynafit and Plum bindings. Afterall, weren't the Gods in love with us?

In retrospect, we should've pushed on, since this was the best visibility we would have for the next 3 or 4 days.

The next 72 hours unfolded in dream-like phases of aborted attempts to ski something, card games, naps, skiing the wand line down to the train station to get the mail in exchange for free alcohol from the hut keeper, and general malaise. Every time we would leave the hut, our efforts ended in even more of this. . .


The outside world seemed non-existent. I would get occasional texts from my wife, but for some reason the auto-correct on her iPhone would turn "I can't wait until you get home so I can blow you while we watch porn" into "don't forget we have that potluck at your sister's the day after you get back."

Eventually, what had begun with great promise and stunning vistas began to degrade. . .


On the third night when we were unable to see the shithouse from the hut, the hut keeper threw up his hands at the 5 day weather forecast and departed for the valley. We did not see him again. But at least there were other diversions, like wretched alcohol to set ablaze and consume in massive quantities . . .


Lantenhammer tastes like the retarded rapist half-brother of Rumplemintz, so unfortunately loses it's charms after a couple of gallons. Unable to stomach any more of the local beer (Rugenbrau) we finally admitted defeat and decided to get the fuck out of the Bernese Alps. Of course, as soon as we decided to eject, we caught another small weather window. Telelebowski on the bootpack (photo by arg). . .


arg almost to the bottom of the fun/scary part while Telelebowski waits his turn. . .


There is a fairly nasty bergshrund under here somewhere. . .


So we say goodbye to the Berner, and the fickle whore Switzerland. . .


But where to go next? Who will welcome us warmly, allow us to deftly remove her frayed brassiere with one hand while taking money from her purse with the other? I mean, she sees us taking the money and we KNOW she sees us taking the money but she's so happy for the attention that she ignores our petty thievery, just pleased that we are gently kneading her nipples and telling her she's special. And we deserve the money and the handful of slightly sagging breast, because the Gods love us. So neither of us say anything, each satisfied with the outcome for our own reasons.

But where is a place like that? Oh, right. . . .

[Hugh Conway]

Strong work

[Wintergreen]

I've never been to any of these places, but this.....

"Onward to Switzerland, a place I always go with some ambivalence. France is the sexy and elegant wife of an industrialist who lets you backdoor her with your ring-finger in the pantry at the dinner party while her husband holds court in the dining room discussing cigars. And she assures you he doesn't really care because his cock doesn't even work anymore but that doesn't mean you want everyone knowing you're in her up to your third knuckle.

Austria is the reliable old high school girlfriend with Daddy Issues that you used to play to your advantage. Not a stunning beauty but sturdy and attractive enough, and willing to blow you in her Toyota Celica even though she's living with a dude who is deployed in the Korengal Valley and still won't admit she took your fucking Smithereens records. But Switzerland?

Switzerland is a cool and imperturbable beauty that you spend your whole paycheck trying to impress and are repaid with a dry chaste kiss on the cheek and an invitation to coffee with a bunch of her asshole, ipad clutching friends. Despite being given few encouraging signs, you somehow manage to convince yourself she is in love with you and will leave that Swiss Uncle Rico-like terminal grad student she is apparently on/off dating. She won't unbolt her knees for you, yet she's willing to give you life advice, like telling you that all the pornography you watch is turning you into a different person, someone she barely knows. And you tell her to shut her dirty whore mouth before you choke her with a pair of jumper cables! Finally it dawns on you that this frosty princess could see you at the bottom of a well filled with pit vipers infected with ebola and not drop you a fucking rope because that would make her late for her train to work. Yet you still hope she calls you."

......is pure gold.

[Stowelen]

Hemingway would be jealous. This thread has gone all time. Need more.

[powdherb]

I live in switzerland, and I approve your message.

[raisingarizona13]

So freaking good. Love it. Yes. More please.

[spook]

it would be great if more people spent as much time on the writing as you have.

[BobbyBill]

Thoroughly enjoyable TR...kudos and more, please!

[Buster Highmen]

Spankticular elevated frosty swiss descriptors. What that I would have sought more than a lowly rosti, pork products and slimy slapfests I might have ended up in similarly circumcised circumstantial circumstances. But no Sir Cum Stances for me, I stuck with the lowly farmers lifts, the vin ordinaire, the bacon.

[SchralphMacchio]

Gold5678

[klar]

did you just set the alcohol on fire or did you go for the flämli thing? i have found the results of drinking an espresso with every shot very uplifting.

[LARRY01]

The outside world seemed non-existent. I would get occasional texts from my wife, but for some reason the auto-correct on her iPhone would turn "I can't wait until you get home so I can blow you while we watch porn" into "don't forget we have that potluck at your sister's the day after you get back."
^^THIS IS PURE GOLD. THANKS FOR THE TR. BEST I HAVE READ. MORE PLEASE!

[baron]

the CRY of VICTORY! ,for sure....Screaming with Vengence! now go cry to your mommy "all true americans love the sting combat"g.patton. Now go battle your mountains on,skis,and boards,bikes,climb up,skin atop vast peaks of Victory! oh yeah,great pics out there!