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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Fresh Lake City
    Posts
    4,573

    chaperone needed to not break vows of chasity

    anyone looking for a little work on the side???

    http://saltlakecity.craigslist.org/dmg/2898949185.html

    Quote Originally Posted by craigslist ad
    My girlfriend and I are looking for a chaperone to go with us on dates. Dates will include dinner, rock climbing, camping, boating, hot tubbing, and playing chess. The chaperone will be required to accompany us throughout all of these activities as a third wheel. If the date includes dinner or treats, the chaperone will be served a helping. If the date includes mutual back massages, the chaperone may partake but may be required to give a massage.
    Main responsibilities include but are not limited to:
    loading gear into the car
    cooking
    driving (must bring own car).
    making sure that we don't break the law of chastity.

    Gig is paid in dinners and desserts plus some small bonus

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    The Cone of Uncertainty
    Posts
    49,306

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Golden, CO
    Posts
    636
    this can't be real

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    10,103
    Do i get to check her for purity?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Down In A Hole, Up in the Sky
    Posts
    35,361
    I prefer to plumb the depths of her purity.
    Forum Cross Pollinator, gratuitously strident

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    A wretched hive of scum and villainy
    Posts
    1,958
    Utah mags please do something with this...
    "...no hobby should either seek or need rational justification. To find reasons why it is useful or beneficial converts it at once from an avocation into an industry, lowers it at once to the ignominious category of an exercise undertaken for health, power or profit."
    -Aldo Leopold

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Fresh Lake City
    Posts
    4,573
    Quote Originally Posted by EVC_CO View Post
    this can't be real
    you've obviously never been to utah

    Quote Originally Posted by JimmyCarter View Post
    Do i get to check her for purity?
    oh that's a good idea. i'm crafting an email to apply, i'll add that as a service i can provide.
    another service i will provide is I'll wear a WWF wrestling belt as my chastity belt

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Jongistan
    Posts
    5,313
    Door #2 doesn't break the laws of chastity (in Utah)
    Quote Originally Posted by Tunco perfectly summarizing TGR View Post
    It is like Days of Our Lives', but with retards.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Portland by way of Bozeman
    Posts
    4,279
    This is very real. I have friend who was/is dating a girl that wouldn't go camping with him unless there was another person or couple with them. Brutal.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    27,308
    Chastity: it's not just a suggestion, it's the law!

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    9,002
    No wonder all the dudes are agro at Alta.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    5,722
    i think technically it's called Chaz nowadays

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    O-Town
    Posts
    2,664
    Quote Originally Posted by EVC_CO View Post
    this can't be real
    I guarantee its real. I grew up a Utah mormon and I would run out of fingers counting how many people I know that would do something like this.
    All I know is that I don't know nothin'... and that's fine.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    1,490
    Quote Originally Posted by Dickeymotto View Post
    I guarantee its real. I grew up a Utah mormon and I would run out of fingers counting how many people I know that would do something like this.
    Wow: crazy.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Down the valley a bit further on the good side of the 49th
    Posts
    4,342
    They're angling for a threesome. May partake in massages......
    It's not so much the model year, it's the high mileage or meterage to keep the youth of Canada happy

  16. #16
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Back in SEA
    Posts
    9,657
    it's ok, when it's in a 3-way... it's not gay if it is a 3-way...
    ... jfost is really ignorant, he often just needs simple facts laid out for him...

  17. #17
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    33,440
    Eiffel tower.

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    19,206
    Gay for pay anyone?

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    mcflattown
    Posts
    724
    I would probably beat that guy at chess. Awkward.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    in a van down by the river
    Posts
    2,769
    Quote Originally Posted by theshredder View Post
    I would probably beat that guy at chess. Awkward.
    I would just beat the guy to the young lady's purity pit.
    I don't work and I don't save, desperate women pay my way.

  21. #21
    Hugh Conway Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Moose Pit View Post
    I would just beat the guy to the young lady's purity pit.
    For clarification is that the pink or the stink?

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    mcflattown
    Posts
    724
    Well... ya. First beat the guy at chess then she'll be all 'wow, you're good' and CAPOW, purity pit. It's worked for me before.

    On second thought the whole thing sounds off.
    Last edited by theshredder; 03-15-2012 at 06:19 PM.

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    sandy, sl,ut
    Posts
    9,307
    I wonder whqt the small bonus is? You getta dry hump the girl? I'm three days post acls graft, getting range motion back but spending most of my time in bed. I do have some time on my hands, maybe I should meet these folks. What say ye maggots?
    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ________________
    "We don't need predator control, we need whiner control. Anyone who complains that "the gummint oughta do sumpin" about the wolves and coyotes should be darted, caged, and released in a more suitable habitat for them, like the middle of Manhattan." - Spats

    "I'm constantly doing things I can't do. Thats how I get to do them." - Pablo Picasso

    Cisco and his wife are fragile idiots who breed morons.

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Nhampshire
    Posts
    7,762
    Quote Originally Posted by leroy jenkins View Post
    I wonder whqt the small bonus is? You getta dry hump the girl? I'm three days post acls graft, getting range motion back but spending most of my time in bed. I do have some time on my hands, maybe I should meet these folks. What say ye maggots?
    I will give you $5 if you contact them and follow through with going on their dates. Must get pictures.

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    sandy, sl,ut
    Posts
    9,307
    i have a small assortment of various perscrption pain meds. I think the phrase "anybody want some pills?" will have to be muttered at some point in the introductions.

    Really I think they'll find someone else due to me being on crutches, but I'll email them tonight. I need some entertainment these days.
    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ________________
    "We don't need predator control, we need whiner control. Anyone who complains that "the gummint oughta do sumpin" about the wolves and coyotes should be darted, caged, and released in a more suitable habitat for them, like the middle of Manhattan." - Spats

    "I'm constantly doing things I can't do. Thats how I get to do them." - Pablo Picasso

    Cisco and his wife are fragile idiots who breed morons.

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