Why Do Women Want Babies?

[XXX-er]

the thing to keep in mind is that it doesn't have to be fun to be fun

[Chainsaw_Willie]

It's instinctual. What Hutash said - we've been programmed through millions of years of evolution to want to reproduce and to get pleasure from the acts that result in reproduction. it's not that hard to figure out.

Occasionally you will find people who are able to rationalize their urges and put other priorities first. These are the people who don't want kids, but they are a minority and from an evolutionary perspective that's a good thing.

We are animals, not far removed from the days of killing or gathering what we eat. Women want babies, men want to fuck them. Why is that so hard to understand?

[irul&ublo]

My wife has zero interest in having kids at this moment.

DUH...she knows they'd look like you.

[irul&ublo]

I do not avoid women Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence.

There is a God!

[Tippster]

Two thoughts:

1. You either wan them or you don't. "Why" is immaterial.
2. The people I know who didn't really want kids at first but had them later anyway (for one reason or another - family/societal pressure, accident, etc.) are utterly in love with their kids and don't regret having them.

The Short People in my life are the single most frustrating, entertaining, and fantastic adventure i could ever imagine. It's impossible to convey that to someone on the fence (or anti-kid) so I don't even bother.

[Captain Awesome]

Women want babies, men want to fuck them.

That probably could've been put a little more clearly...

[MagnificentUnicorn]

What does taking a shit have to do with women wanting babies?

[DJSapp]

Women want babies, men want to fuck them. Why is that so hard to understand?

[Blurred]

Why do women want babies?

This is a complicated question because every ones view on it changes within their own personal journey in life.

[Mofro261]

The Short People ...

Hey!
Fuck You too, Randy Newman.

[powder11]

I want to know why my wife gets all put off when I fart up the room or leave a nasty lingering stench in the bathroom after a big dump, but has no problem getting up to her elbows in dirty diaper baby poo mess? Must be the same gene. Tanks god it's on them and not us!

[montanaskier]

we were married for 13 years before we had a baby. I could have had one or not had one and been fine and the wife was basically like that too for a long time. However, after 13 years, we decided it was time to try....we tried and she got pregnant. Had she not, we wouldn't have gone further as we believe it's either meant to be or not. It's changed our life in more ways than I can count and there are days that I remember back to what it used to be like. However those days are far outnumbered by days where I look at my son and watch him grow and I realize how awesome it is to have Logan.

I think the best answer to your question is that it is hard wired into females to reproduce...a species survival thing.

[Bobcat Sig]

This.

When my wife and I were contemplating having a kid, I asked a friend of mine what to expect. My friend, usually a total dumbass said the most introspective thing. He said "they will suck all your money, your time, and your energy. It will strain every single relationship you have and be more work than you can imagine. And it is totally worth it."

Two thoughts:

1. You either wan them or you don't. "Why" is immaterial.
2. The people I know who didn't really want kids at first but had them later anyway (for one reason or another - family/societal pressure, accident, etc.) are utterly in love with their kids and don't regret having them.

The Short People in my life are the single most frustrating, entertaining, and fantastic adventure i could ever imagine. It's impossible to convey that to someone on the fence (or anti-kid) so I don't even bother.

I'll take this discussion to the next level with the forewarning that I'll be blunt and maybe even rude.

I always here the "it's totally worth it" shtick about having kids and how awesome it is. But rarely - if ever - do I get that quantified with any sort of reasons why having kids is so awesome.

Maybe I'm selfish, impatient or intolerant, but I have a friend who has two kids and he just seems miserable. Just wiped out, tired, a former shell of himself. It makes me never, ever want kids.

I again at the risk of being rude and selfish; is it really worth it, for all that time, money, loss of dreams in life and lack of fun?

[stupendous man]

And no one has mentioned evolution.

If you don't have kids, you are guaranteed to be shut out of society in the late stages of your life. Having kids is an investment in your future, that when you're grey and crabby someone will be around to talk with, maybe even take care of you.

Or work your fields and kill animals, to put it in more 'paleo' terms. Kids is not my choice all things being equal right now. But all things are not equal.

[Tippster]

Hey!
Fuck You too, Randy Newman.

[Tippster]

I'll take this discussion to the next level with the forewarning that I'll be blunt and maybe even rude.

I always here the "it's totally worth it" shtick about having kids and how awesome it is. But rarely - if ever - do I get that quantified with any sort of reasons why having kids is so awesome.

Maybe I'm selfish, impatient or intolerant, but I have a friend who has two kids and he just seems miserable. Just wiped out, tired, a former shell of himself. It makes me never, ever want kids.

I again at the risk of being rude and selfish; is it really worth it, for all that time, money, loss of dreams in life and lack of fun?

For me, yes. I stand by my post tho that there is no easy summary of "because XYZ" that I can convey to you. I have no idea why your friend is miserable - is it really because of the kids or because of other factors? Shit, if I'm in a bad mood I just hang out with my children and lose myself in their world - be it playing outside, inside, or just hanging out and talking about stuff... their stuff. It's fun as shit, it is guaranteed to wash away the stain of my day, and I always end up smiling. Maybe I got lucky, but I don't think so - you get out what you put in.

Of course there are times when I want to strangle the little fuckers.

[PNWbrit]

It's not something that's ever really been an issue for us. Wife had a shitty childhood with divorced parents living on each side of the Atlantic and a rather difficult relationship with step-mother who didn't have her own children or any siblings... I don't think that helped nurture any maternal drive in her? Maybe we'll regret it in old(er) age?

[MontuckyFried]

Many women who say they don't want kids, change their minds around their late 30's-early 40's. Then once menopause hits, they have to just face the implications of their life's decisions...and get a few cats. Ever notice how most single women you meet have dogs? I think it's because they are trying to fill a void in their lives. They want children instinctively, but a pet will have to suffice in the meanwhile. Which sucks for us men, because most chicks we meet have some ratty, worthless excuse for a dog, and often times have multiple dogs, which has always meant there's no room for a REAL dog that I'd want.

I've been propositioned for a "donation" by two dear friends of mine who hit 40 around the same time. They'd spent their youth partying, having fun, getting advanced educations, and working on their careers. Then 40 came around faster than they thought, and baby fever hit them hard. They just wanted to hook up with me...a lot, telling me that they just wanted a baby, no strings attached, no child support, no relationship necessary. I thought about it, as they were both pretty, and really wonderful people at that, but I couldn't bare the thought of having a kid out there, being raised without their dad (me). Plus, I didn't trust them 100% to totally let me off the hook so easily. I foresaw inevitable drama. I had to pass up on a good offer for lots of great raw sex with two outstanding women with zero commitments.

What that illustrated to me was how ingrained procreation is in a women's brain. Just as sex is so ingrained in our male brains for the same reason, women perhaps think less about the act of mating, but more about the end result...babies.

I also want children one day, but the big difference is how I think of raising a son (or daughter), and view that future child as a person, with a name and a personality; whereas women seem to just think "BABIES! I WANT BABIES!" It's like they don't look at the entire 18+ year ordeal...it's just babies, babies, babies. Women are entirely different creatures, indeed, God bless 'em.

[Elkhound Odin]

other why's:
It's cool, all the friends have one
It's a way to trap a man
It was an accident
Bigger welfare checks don't hurt
Religion requires procreation, just following orders

[Bobcat Sig]

For me, yes. I stand by my post tho that there is no easy summary of "because XYZ" that I can convey to you. I have no idea why your friend is miserable - is it really because of the kids or because of other factors? Shit, if I'm in a bad mood I just hang out with my children and lose myself in their world - be it playing outside, inside, or just hanging out and talking about stuff... their stuff. It's fun as shit, it is guaranteed to wash away the stain of my day, and I always end up smiling. Maybe I got lucky, but I don't think so - you get out what you put in.

Of course there are times when I want to strangle the little fuckers.

That is good perspective. My point is that most people that are quick to say how great kids very seldom say why kids are so great. I've often took that as them trying to convince themselves that having children was a good idea.

Thank you for quantifying it.

As for the examples that I see and how it reflects on me; the one example is such that both of his kids are hellions. Seriously, just little devil creatures. Even still, I have plenty of other friends that just look so forlorn and as if they are missing out on the all the great adventures of life. Maybe they are pandering to us childless folk or maybe they really are jealous. Even still, I see that and I think of nearly everything that I'd miss out on and all that I'd want to accomplish. And all this coming from a great family background with a terrific mother and father.

Who knows? Maybe I just don't have it ...

What that illustrated to me was how ingrained procreation is in a women's brain. Just as sex is so ingrained in our male brains for the same reason, women perhaps think less about the act of mating, but more about the end result...babies.

I also want children one day, but the big difference is how I think of raising a son (or daughter), and view that future child as a person, with a name and a personality; whereas women seem to just think "BABIES! I WANT BABIES!" It's like they don't look at the entire 18+ year ordeal...it's just babies, babies, babies. Women are entirely different creatures, indeed, God bless 'em.

This last bit is dead on ... well at least for me and my lady friend. I get the distinct impression that she only wants a baby for the simple fact of having a baby. Almost as if it is some new, hot accessory or the thing to do. Rarely do I see baby fever described as you do. Instead, I just see the baby desire with no real thought or discussion for the two decades of support and the life implications.

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, right?

[MontuckyFried]

other why's:
It's cool, all the friends have one (Haha. Yup. Women easily fall prey to peer pressure)
It's a way to trap a man (Exactly one of my concerns with the women in my above story)

Everything you listed were some definite motivators for baby making!

[Snow Dog]

I really don't get it. Can't you just have amazing sex for the rest of your life, die, and then hook up in hell with everyone else you missed?

You're just an evolutionary dead end.

[Mofro261]

I
I again at the risk of being rude and selfish; is it really worth it, for all that time, money, loss of dreams in life and lack of fun?

Life is what you make of it, whether you have kids or not. Ultimately, we all strive to create something here that signifies and validates our existence, either through the work we do, recreational activities, our music, art etc. To some extent, kids are a form of that creative expression, as much of who they are is a reflection of what we as parents made them to be. If it's done right, the kids grow up and share many of the same dreams and fun times that their parents have and the creative outlets one has to give up are minimal.

[Chainsaw_Willie]

That probably could've been put a little more clearly...

Uhhhh, yeah.... LOL!

Women want babies, men want to fuck women. Better?

[mtngirl79]

Uhhhh, yeah.... LOL!

Women want babies, men want to fuck women. Better?

and you are usually such a good communicator, Will...