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Thread: The official maggot STD thread
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12-21-2011, 11:23 PM #1
that's my line
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The official maggot STD thread
ever pissed glass? had a doc stick a swab so far in your dick your throat gets sore? guzzled gallons of penicillin?
drunk ass barebackin is fun fun fun until you're pissing blood two weeks later and wondering how JD goggles and a lack of latex could have left you with some seriously fucked up luggage..
ever passed that shit on to an unassuming partner and lied your ass off about getting it off the toilet seat?
lets hear the cautionary tales in their unabashed glory..when everything in the world is at its darkest, it takes a big man to kick back and party.
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12-21-2011, 11:37 PM #2
truckin'
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i thought it had started snowing?
Something about the wrinkle in your forehead tells me there's a fit about to get thrown
And I never hear a single word you say when you tell me not to have my fun
It's the same old shit that I ain't gonna take off anyone.
and I never had a shortage of people tryin' to warn me about the dangers I pose to myself.
Patterson Hood of the DBT's
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12-21-2011, 11:51 PM #3
Core before core was cool
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No. and no again as the NO was too short. But my life story would sound weird and boring.
A few people feel the rain. Most people just get wet.
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12-22-2011, 12:01 AM #4
Registered Loser
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I know a guy that used a bag from Pac Sun as a condom.
This same guy found out he had syphilis when his always faithful GF called him up and said (paraphrasing a bit)- "where has your dick been? Because I'm in the hospital because of it".
She lost pretty much her whole reproductive tract. Soon after he tattooed her name on his arm**. They stayed together.
Same guy found out he had HPV when his ever faithful GF found out she had it. They stayed together and eventually married.
They were both miserable in marriage, he continued to fuck around and picked up a pretty nasty drug habit (heavy into pills) along the way. She just got fat, really fat.
Last I heard they were in the process of splitting up.
I'll leave it up to you, the reader, to determine what the moral of that story is.
**He would tell girls that it was his dead friend (gender neutral name), not just as a lie to cover up the fact that we was married, but almost as a line to garner a sympathy fuck.
Originally Posted by Tunco perfectly summarizing TGR
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12-22-2011, 12:06 AM #5
Registering...
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Baller on a budget Originally Posted by dumpy
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12-22-2011, 12:35 AM #6
Good-lookin' wool
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Divorce the fat chick sooner? Originally Posted by dumpy
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12-22-2011, 02:35 AM #7
Registered User
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paleo diet?
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12-22-2011, 02:53 AM #8
Funky But Chic
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nice one Originally Posted by Harry Caray
edit: seriously. no sarcasm, I like the phrase.
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12-22-2011, 09:38 AM #9
Registered User
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"Cause everyone has put their dick in a few dumpsters......"
-An adage from an old roommate of mine.
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12-22-2011, 11:02 AM #10
Banned
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yes, yes & yes. Originally Posted by stomp
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12-22-2011, 11:20 AM #11
Registered Loser
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I was thinking more along the lines of don't cheat, it'll make her feel sad and she'll self medicate with twinkies. Also if you give her an STD that makes her lose half her lady parts and she's willing to stay with you, you're pretty much in an inescapable position, fat or not. So yeah it all goes back to why cheating is a bad idea. Originally Posted by commonlaw
That and the real moral of the story is, I know some fucked up people. Originally Posted by Tunco perfectly summarizing TGR
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12-22-2011, 11:22 AM #12
Funky But Chic
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Gold, Jerry, gold! Originally Posted by commonlaw
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12-22-2011, 12:34 PM #13
The End of Silence
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NSFW lyrics... Originally Posted by VTsession
This is the worst pain EVER!
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12-22-2011, 01:47 PM #14
Last Survivor of the NPG
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A buddy in high school got the clap from the same girl twice
Told me the second time around it scarred up his urethra, so they had to rooter router his cock so he could piss normal
That is why I like dogs, more than most people. Originally Posted by leroy jenkins
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12-22-2011, 06:20 PM #15
Registered Slut
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Had a pretty bad experience freshman year of university. She told me about it a few months after the fact via fucking MYSPACE and had the gall to say "I don't blame you, but..."
Anyway, I hadn't noticed anything before she contacted me, and I went to the doctor for checkups every month for a year because I was not fucking getting a goddamned STD (I went two times a week the first month, just in case they missed something). Never ended up with anything, happily. Even though I pretty much lost a year of carefree boning during prime college time I consider myself very lucky.
Moral of the story: don't fuck 18 year olds with serious daddy issues who publicly admit to having picked up 50 year old Mexican day workers in front of Home Depot for an afternoon lay no matter how hot they are.I thought their offices would be strewn with bunny-fucking and condom dispensers, a veritable enchanted forest of cock shafts and twat mist. - JoeStrummer
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12-22-2011, 06:38 PM #16
2-finger scrollin'
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I was bleeding a bit when I pissed when I was about 22. My 80 yr. old Dr. wanted to scare me, so he stuck the q-tip up the shaft. DAMN That is the most pain I have ever felt. Like a red-hot needle piercing the tip of my crank. IT WAS NOT AN STD.....but the q-tip scared me enough to be careful from then on. Thanks Doc.
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