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  1. #1
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    Nov 2005
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    The official maggot STD thread

    ever pissed glass? had a doc stick a swab so far in your dick your throat gets sore? guzzled gallons of penicillin?

    drunk ass barebackin is fun fun fun until you're pissing blood two weeks later and wondering how JD goggles and a lack of latex could have left you with some seriously fucked up luggage..

    ever passed that shit on to an unassuming partner and lied your ass off about getting it off the toilet seat?

    lets hear the cautionary tales in their unabashed glory..
    when everything in the world is at its darkest, it takes a big man to kick back and party.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    crown of the continent
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    i thought it had started snowing?
    Something about the wrinkle in your forehead tells me there's a fit about to get thrown
    And I never hear a single word you say when you tell me not to have my fun
    It's the same old shit that I ain't gonna take off anyone.
    and I never had a shortage of people tryin' to warn me about the dangers I pose to myself.

    Patterson Hood of the DBT's

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
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    On Vacation for the Duration
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    11,246
    No. and no again as the NO was too short. But my life story would sound weird and boring.
    A few people feel the rain. Most people just get wet.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    I know a guy that used a bag from Pac Sun as a condom.

    This same guy found out he had syphilis when his always faithful GF called him up and said (paraphrasing a bit)- "where has your dick been? Because I'm in the hospital because of it".

    She lost pretty much her whole reproductive tract. Soon after he tattooed her name on his arm**. They stayed together.

    Same guy found out he had HPV when his ever faithful GF found out she had it. They stayed together and eventually married.

    They were both miserable in marriage, he continued to fuck around and picked up a pretty nasty drug habit (heavy into pills) along the way. She just got fat, really fat.

    Last I heard they were in the process of splitting up.

    I'll leave it up to you, the reader, to determine what the moral of that story is.


    **He would tell girls that it was his dead friend (gender neutral name), not just as a lie to cover up the fact that we was married, but almost as a line to garner a sympathy fuck.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tunco perfectly summarizing TGR View Post
    It is like Days of Our Lives', but with retards.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    90
    Quote Originally Posted by dumpy View Post
    I know a guy that used a bag from Pac Sun as a condom.
    Baller on a budget

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    10,522
    Quote Originally Posted by dumpy View Post
    I'll leave it up to you, the reader, to determine what the moral of that story is.
    Divorce the fat chick sooner?

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
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    seatown
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    3,219
    paleo diet?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
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    Quote Originally Posted by Harry Caray View Post
    Baller on a budget
    nice one

    edit: seriously. no sarcasm, I like the phrase.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    Central VT
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    4,033
    "Cause everyone has put their dick in a few dumpsters......"

    -An adage from an old roommate of mine.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    1,484
    Quote Originally Posted by stomp View Post
    ever pissed glass? had a doc stick a swab so far in your dick your throat gets sore? guzzled gallons of penicillin?

    drunk ass barebackin is fun fun fun until you're pissing blood two weeks later and wondering how JD goggles and a lack of latex could have left you with some seriously fucked up luggage..

    ever passed that shit on to an unassuming partner and lied your ass off about getting it off the toilet seat?

    .
    yes, yes & yes.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by commonlaw View Post
    Divorce the fat chick sooner?
    I was thinking more along the lines of don't cheat, it'll make her feel sad and she'll self medicate with twinkies. Also if you give her an STD that makes her lose half her lady parts and she's willing to stay with you, you're pretty much in an inescapable position, fat or not. So yeah it all goes back to why cheating is a bad idea.

    That and the real moral of the story is, I know some fucked up people.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tunco perfectly summarizing TGR View Post
    It is like Days of Our Lives', but with retards.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
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    Quote Originally Posted by commonlaw View Post
    Divorce the fat chick sooner?
    Gold, Jerry, gold!

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
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    5,693
    Quote Originally Posted by VTsession View Post
    "Cause everyone has put their dick in a few dumpsters......"

    -An adage from an old roommate of mine.
    NSFW lyrics...
    This is the worst pain EVER!

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
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    At the beach
    Posts
    11,862
    A buddy in high school got the clap from the same girl twice Told me the second time around it scarred up his urethra, so they had to rooter router his cock so he could piss normal
    Quote Originally Posted by leroy jenkins View Post
    I think you'd have an easier time understanding people if you remembered that 80% of them are fucking morons.
    That is why I like dogs, more than most people.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    SEA
    Posts
    1,724
    Had a pretty bad experience freshman year of university. She told me about it a few months after the fact via fucking MYSPACE and had the gall to say "I don't blame you, but..."

    Anyway, I hadn't noticed anything before she contacted me, and I went to the doctor for checkups every month for a year because I was not fucking getting a goddamned STD (I went two times a week the first month, just in case they missed something). Never ended up with anything, happily. Even though I pretty much lost a year of carefree boning during prime college time I consider myself very lucky.

    Moral of the story: don't fuck 18 year olds with serious daddy issues who publicly admit to having picked up 50 year old Mexican day workers in front of Home Depot for an afternoon lay no matter how hot they are.
    I thought their offices would be strewn with bunny-fucking and condom dispensers, a veritable enchanted forest of cock shafts and twat mist. - JoeStrummer

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Under the bridge
    Posts
    2,549
    I was bleeding a bit when I pissed when I was about 22. My 80 yr. old Dr. wanted to scare me, so he stuck the q-tip up the shaft. DAMN That is the most pain I have ever felt. Like a red-hot needle piercing the tip of my crank. IT WAS NOT AN STD.....but the q-tip scared me enough to be careful from then on. Thanks Doc.
    Quote Originally Posted by Skidog View Post
    Pics including altimeter reading or it didnt happen.

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