my mom.

[shit sandwich]

Your sn describes perfectly the dinner I had tonight.
My sister is my best friend too. I can't imagine losing her. That sounds awful.....so sorry. And thanks for the encouragement. Good to hear people saying that I won't feel this way forever.

Not a problem at all dude...vent all you want on here, you've gotta get it out...if not for my friend Tiffany letting me vent and vent and vent I honestly don't know if I'd still be around...you'll get thru it but you've got to let it out when you feel the need to do so...my heart is with you and your family.

[Rdy2ski]

A- sounds like you've got open invitations all around....so when you're ready you should do it! While what I typically see here is a lot of ppl giving a lot of shit (all in good fun), I also see a genuine crowd.

A persons spirit carries miracles of their own...so know that today, tonight and for as long as it takes...we're lending you ours.

[acostiga]

feeling the surge of emotions wash over me as i worked through this thread, i can only imagine how powerful the forces were that created each beautiful post. tonight before i fall asleep i will have a few extra things to include with my thoughts, prayers and reflections.

thank you all, particularly a-wreck, for having the strength to share as you have.

[str8line]

Moved to tears A-wreck. I'm so sorry about your mom. This thread is so moving. My best to all that have suffered a loss.

[A-wreck]

I barely have the strength acostiga. Had to leave work and go to my aunts house and cry for a while today. The longer this goes on the more I realize what an affect she had on my life.


BUT SERIOUSLY FOLKS:
you guys are unbelievable. Thanks again for the support.

And stay tuned tomorrow for episodes "why the fuck did an allergist send my mom to a neurologist"
And "what symptoms to look for in your loved ones"

We have no history of this in my family. And no one really knows why people get brain tumors. But hindsight is 20/20 and there are things to look out for. This was scary how fast this happened, and if it happened to my mom, it can happen to anyone.

[Yeti]

Condolences and prayers to A-Wreck. Moved to tears -- I'm with you.

[natty dread]

Echoing what shit sandwich said to you: come to UT a-wreck, the snow's great and the utard crazies will show you around. I know that whenever I'm having tough times, coming to UT and hanging with the crew always lifts my sprits. I have a very close friend who is dying from a grade 4 brain tumor and it has become a priority in my life to be there for her no matter what. She just visited me in UT for a few days and although she is always very tired, I took her boarding at the bird, she had the pleasure of meeting at least one maggot (altachic), and being here definitely made a difference in her life and lifted her spirits. I think it could do the same for you, when you're ready.

A good friend told me the other day that it has been written (in a buddhist text perhaps?) that if there was a way to implant an organ inside everyone that everyday reminded us that we will die, the world would be a better, more compassionate place and we would be happier, always living in the moment. I try to remember this as much as possible and, as GT40 said, spend as much time as possible with family and friends. Your situation reemphasizes that.

And shit sandwich, I can't even imagine in my worst nightmares what you went through. Props for getting through that dark time. We must ski together sometime! How about today? Spatulas, red jacket, grey helmet.

[A-wreck]

My mom sang on stage with Pavoratti twice. FKNA. I wouldn't normally use fkna when talking about opera singers but, if you read the articles I put links up to, you'd know that singing was the biggest thing in my moms life next to her family. FKNA describes perfectly the way my mom felt about her opportunities to sing with him (although she would have never actually said fkna). She didn't do a duet or anything crazy like that. She was in the chorus for his last two detroit appearances. She had to audition for it and was pretty stressed out, but man..........she thought she was the shiznit for being accepted. I can remember a particular dinner we had when she told me and my dad that she was invited back to audition for his second appearance. So not only did she get it the first time around but she was invited back the next time he came. She was just glowing when we sat down and she began to tell us. She had her little nose in the air and a big ol' grin on her face. I guess it's much more of an honor to be invited back than to be accepted for the first performance in the first place. At least she saw it that way. After singing in church choirs and other groups her entire life, this, to her, was like having a number 1 album or winning a grammy or something. It was the biggest and most important thing in her non-profit singing career.

She was involved with a group called the Rackham Symphony Choir who have been putting on a christmas show in Detroit for the past three or four years. She was involved with trying to get headlining soloists to perform in their show. They were able to get Rod Dickson(or Dixon), one of the "Three Mo' Tenors". You know who they are....the three black dudes who sang in those Marshall Fields commercials last xmas. And this year all three of the three mo tenors performed. Next year they are taking the show on the road to Chicago. Rod dickson came to the wake......she would have thought she was the shiznitt for that too.

She sang at all of the weddings and most of the funerals in my family. She sang at her own fathers funeral, in Polish none the less. I only heard her sing in Polish a handfull of times. She couldn't speak Polish fluently or anything, she just knew a few songs/hymns. I always thought that was cool.

So why did an allergist send my mom to a neurologist? We treated our allergist as a regular family doctor, he'd take care of us for anything, not just allergies. So it is no surprise to me that he is the one she asked about a neurologist. He said that she told him she was having tremors in her hands. He told me that she seemed very nervous and afraid on oct 28 when he referred her to him. Like she thought something was very wrong. It's not like my mom to be afraid of an illness. I've seen her throw up and keep on trucking, doing pointless shit that could have waited until she felt better. She was too proud to admit that anything this severe could have been happening. So she made her appointment with the neurologist for the first week of January. After the holidays. So that she wouldn't ruin christmas. Everything she did was motivated by her desire for everything to be perfect, and everybody having a good time and eating good food. She never thought of herself first.

[A-wreck]

I have a very close friend who is dying from a grade 4 brain tumor and it has become a priority in my life to be there for her no matter what. She just visited me in UT for a few days and although she is always very tired, I took her boarding at the bird, she had the pleasure of meeting at least one maggot (altachic), and being here definitely made a difference in her life and lifted her spirits. I think it could do the same for you, when you're ready.

A good friend told me the other day that it has been written (in a buddhist text perhaps?) that if there was a way to implant an organ inside everyone that everyday reminded us that we will die, the world would be a better, more compassionate place and we would be happier, always living in the moment. I try to remember this as much as possible and, as GT40 said, spend as much time as possible with family and friends. Your situation reemphasizes that.
.

Sorry to hear about your friend. But it sounds like you are just as good a friend to her as my friends were to me. Thats great. Being there for people is what life is all about. And I will be in ooootah soon. nothing set in stone yet but, it will be soon.

Spending time with your family is important. It's crazy the things that happen right before someone dies, and you step back and say "this shit happened for a reason". Like me moving home six months ago. I was roomateless and didn't have enough money to keep the house I was renting so I moved back home in may. I got to see my mom every day for the last 7 months of her life. Had a lot of good dinners with her too. My sister had a water main break on her street the week before my mom died. They were telling her she couldn't drink/use the water so she and my niece came to my parents for that week. They got to spend time with her that they wouldn't have normally had. My sister is very thankfull for that. Heh....almost forgot....my sister cannot stand raw meat. The sight of an uncooked steak could make her gag. But she sucked it up and helped my mom make the kielbasa this past year. My mom didn't have anyone else to help shove raw meat into a grinder, so my sister stepped up. This will be the first and last time she got to do that. I never did. She is lucky.

[shit sandwich]

Echoing what shit sandwich said to you: come to UT a-wreck, the snow's great and the utard crazies will show you around.

And shit sandwich, I can't even imagine in my worst nightmares what you went through. Props for getting through that dark time. We must ski together sometime! How about today? Spatulas, red jacket, grey helmet.

Hey thanks a lot Natty, that seriously means a ton to me...it was a VERY VERY sad situation with my brother and sister...both suffered from chronic clinical depression, that let to schizophrenia and they eventually both commited suicide together...even talking about it still is very hard to do...like A-Wreck said hindsight is 20/20...after it all happened there were a million warning signs to look back on, at the same time though we wanted them to live their lives, you don't want to be more of a burden to them...my bro was 23 and my sis 28, there was a big deal on the news channels about it and stuff...I'll never forget getting that phone call though, the world literally stopped for me at that second, much like I'm sure it was for A-Wreck...made it thru though and I'm a much better person for it, miss my brother and sister every single day and always will but I know they see me and watch me, now when I think of them I smile and just remember all the great memories and all the cool things about them both.
I'd love to have gone up today, didn't know if the canyons would open so I'm in the office, probably be up tomorrow...I'll look for you...I'm in green Nordicas, green Spys, dark gray TNF pants, black fleece TNF coat, 195 B3's. Thanks again Natty, felt kind of good to get that off my chest.

[A-wreck]

Hey thanks a lot Natty, that seriously means a ton to me...it was a VERY VERY sad situation with my brother and sister...both suffered from chronic clinical depression, that let to schizophrenia and they eventually both commited suicide together...even talking about it still is very hard to do...like A-Wreck said hindsight is 20/20...after it all happened there were a million warning signs to look back on, at the same time though we wanted them to live their lives, you don't want to be more of a burden to them...my bro was 23 and my sis 28, there was a big deal on the news channels about it and stuff...I'll never forget getting that phone call though, the world literally stopped for me at that second, much like I'm sure it was for A-Wreck...made it thru though and I'm a much better person for it, miss my brother and sister every single day and always will but I know they see me and watch me, now when I think of them I smile and just remember all the great memories and all the cool things about them both.
I'd love to have gone up today, didn't know if the canyons would open so I'm in the office, probably be up tomorrow...I'll look for you...I'm in green Nordicas, green Spys, dark gray TNF pants, black fleece TNF coat, 195 B3's. Thanks again Natty, felt kind of good to get that off my chest.

Jesus fucking christ man! I can't imagine. I will say though that your story does make me feel better. It's just unfortunate that this happening to you is making me feel better. I feel a bit guilty now. Kinda like ONS's old signature that he had; "it may be that the meaning of your life is to serve as a warning to others". Change the word "warning" with "moral support" and it fits.

Thanks for sharing. I doubt it was very easy for you to do so.

[shit sandwich]

I'm glad that helped you feel a little better...I'm usually reluctant to tell that story to strangers...in no way did I intend to try to overshadow your mom's death, doesn't matter how someone dies, when you lose a loved one it's really hard no matter what. Looking back it still is hard to forgive myself for missing all the warning signs, 2 days before they died my sis called me to go to lunch, she knew at the time it was our last time together, she told me how much it hurt her to just wake up each morning, how badly she dreaded having to face another day...I sat and listened and offered support not thinking she'd be dead in 2 days...now I wish I would've done more but who knew??? Anyways dude glad my story could help you out some...who knows maybe your mom is hanging with my brother and sister right now? You never know.

[A-wreck]

I'm glad that helped you feel a little better...I'm usually reluctant to tell that story to strangers...in no way did I intend to try to overshadow your mom's death, .

Only a cocksucking asshole would think you were trying to do that.


"Looking back it still is hard to forgive myself for missing all the warning signs, 2 days before they died my sis called me to go to lunch, she knew at the time it was our last time together, she told me how much it hurt her to just wake up each morning, how badly she dreaded having to face another day...I sat and listened and offered support not thinking she'd be dead in 2 days...now I wish I would've done more but who knew???"


she had locked her keys in her car that week before she died. She passed my sisters house, while driving my niece home, and my three year old niece had to tell her she was going the wrong way. She backed her car into our garage door pretty hard. But the real tell tale sign was that she stopped doing things she liked to do. She didn't want to go out and eat ever. She stopped going to movies on saturdays w/dad. She just wasn't doing the things she normally did.

people who hadn't seen her in a while thought she was acting funny, when they saw her a few months ago. Nobody really said anything. She felt very weak and tired all the time. A neurologist told us that when she stopped doing the things she liked to do, that is a sign of a brain tumor. He said to look for changes in personality.

[Canuk]

hoping that things are slowly getting better for you A-Wreck. Your mom would be very proud to read the kind words you wrote about her.

Thoughts and prayers man...