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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    Last night told the GF ...

    that she eats a lot of junk after she ate a piece of chocolate.


    I think she has spoken about 5 words to me since. Two of which were shove and ass.

    Whoops!

    /Old Larry and AKPM had a kid who started a thread
    Quote Originally Posted by Tunco perfectly summarizing TGR View Post
    It is like Days of Our Lives', but with retards.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    Joe's Garage
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    5,862
    Hey! That's not nice!

    Was going to start a thread on jock itch but thought better of it...
    No Roger, No Rerun, No Rent

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
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    not close enough
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    Nice one, now apologize and tell her that despite her bad eating habits, her ass only looks fat first thing in the morning.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
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    my own little world
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    2,382
    Yeah, good luck with that. Did you tell her she's just like her mom, her best friend's a bitch, and that you don't like the way she styles her hair, too?
    focus.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
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    Wooded enclave
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    Do not mess with a woman's chocolate cravings! Actually a good dark chocolate isn't all that bad for you in moderation.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    Big in Japan
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    36,289
    This one is going to cost you. Try a little blue box with Tiffany written on it. The pearl earrings won't hurt your card that bad. If she's like most, the makeup sex will be epic.

    Let's do some livin'
    After, we die

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    Ventura Highway in the Sunshine
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    21,332
    You're doing it wrong.

    Tell she eats junk and you want a blow job....go big or go home.

    I agree it is a constitutional right for Americans to be assholes...its just too bad that so many take the opportunity...
    iscariot

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
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    driving past the Stop and Shop
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    Dumpy Dog House Hunt Blog Part 1.
    Damn, we're in a tight spot!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    O-Town
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    2,667
    Quote Originally Posted by milton View Post
    Do not mess with a woman's chocolate cravings! Actually a good dark chocolate isn't all that bad for you in moderation.
    For real. They day my girl realized that beer to men is chocolate to women, our relationship jumped to a new level.
    All I know is that I don't know nothin'... and that's fine.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2007
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    A wretched hive of scum and villainy
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    1,967
    Quote Originally Posted by dumpy View Post


    I think she has spoken about 5 words to me since. Two of which were shove and ass.
    If she's suggesting shoving chocolate up your ass (or hers maybe?), perhaps you should go for it. You know, take the relationship in a new direction.
    "...no hobby should either seek or need rational justification. To find reasons why it is useful or beneficial converts it at once from an avocation into an industry, lowers it at once to the ignominious category of an exercise undertaken for health, power or profit."
    -Aldo Leopold

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
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    On Vacation for the Duration
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    11,233
    Why does your dilemma sound familiar? Oh yeah, we're in house limbo too. "I eat because I'm pissed so STFU!! "
    Good news is I put mine on a plane this morning for 3 weeks in a place 2620 miles away. Party of one, your party Is On!!
    A few people feel the rain. Most people just get wet.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
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    Virgina (It's humid here)
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    Maybe distract her from the junk food by explaining that you don't like her laugh. And that she chews loudly.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Suckramento
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    19,212
    Don't forget to tell her about banging her sister
    Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
    Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
    Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.


  14. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    3,101
    I basically said the same thing last night. However, an hour later after devouring her froyo she had a stomach ache. When she complained, I laughed, said I told you so and she called me a "meanie". Sounds like your girlfriend is a bitch.
    I think you have me confused with someone who is far less awesome.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
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    my own little world
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    Quote Originally Posted by advres View Post
    she called me a "meanie". Sounds like your girlfriend is a bitch.
    Your girlfriend sounds really annoying.
    focus.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    2,756
    does this make my ass look fat? No, your ass makes your ass look fat.
    Do I detect a lot of anger flowing around this place? Kind of like a pubescent volatility, some angst, a lot of I'm-sixteen-and-angry-at-my-father syndrome?

    fuck that noise.

    gmen.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    Out There
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    1,750
    Make it up to her, buy her a big box of chocolates.
    "We need sometimes to escape into open solitudes, into aimlessness, into the moral holiday of running some pure hazard, in order to sharpen the edge of life, to taste hardship, and to be compelled to work desperately for a moment at no matter what. -George Santayana, The Philosophy of Travel

    ...it would probably bother me more if I wasn't quite so heavily sedated. -David St. Hubbins, This Is Spinal Tap

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    Jongistan
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    Well, I'm still in shit, you know it's bad when they send emo ass e-mails from work (to my work e-mail adress to boot), but at least this thread is making me laugh.

    What the fuck, I didn't mean anything behind it other than "holy fuck you eat chocolate a lot".
    Quote Originally Posted by Tunco perfectly summarizing TGR View Post
    It is like Days of Our Lives', but with retards.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Duke of Hurl View Post
    Make it up to her, buy her a big box of chocolates.
    The thought had crossed my mind, but it's too obvious. Flowers and sex will be better
    Quote Originally Posted by Tunco perfectly summarizing TGR View Post
    It is like Days of Our Lives', but with retards.

  20. #20
    Hugh Conway Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by dumpy View Post
    Flowers and sex will be better
    tell her her ass looks smaller after anal

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    149
    hahaha. After three years of (happy) marriage...I feel like I know far less about women now then before. That said; not telling a girl she eats to much chocolate should be a no brainer

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Way East Tennessee
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    3,392
    Remind her that there are many fish in the ocean, many of whom enjoy spawning. Ask her if chocolate is good bait.
    In order to properly convert this thread to a polyasshat thread to more fully enrage the liberal left frequenting here...... (insert latest democratic blunder of your choice).

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
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    Colorado
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    Don't mess with the chocolate. That particular jones might keep you from waking up with your throat cut.

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    crown of the continent
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    13,950
    The new book on understanding women just hit the bookstores:



    [but i'm guessing the chocolate comment is covered in the Cliff Notes version...]
    Something about the wrinkle in your forehead tells me there's a fit about to get thrown
    And I never hear a single word you say when you tell me not to have my fun
    It's the same old shit that I ain't gonna take off anyone.
    and I never had a shortage of people tryin' to warn me about the dangers I pose to myself.

    Patterson Hood of the DBT's

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    Not Philly
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    I guess we now know of 1 poster who doesn't like to have sex.
    Dude are you retarted?
    I've said some dumb shit too...it eventually blows over but they never forget. Watch what happens in a year when you order desert out. "Now who eats the junk..." will come flying from across the table like an icy wind across the tundra.

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