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  1. 12-15-2004, 07:26 PM #1
    roll - gybe's Avatar
    roll - gybe
    roll - gybe is offline Stir fry you in my wok
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    Secret Santa help !?!

    Hey, I got this guy as my work secret santa. I sit next to him, and he is a total freak. He is from way western China, he is a terrible driver, loves gambling (poker and bridge), wears bad clothes, is renowned for his bad luck, and takes a joke pretty well. Any ideas in the 5-20 buck range? (by way of background, I have already provided him with a magnetic "I Masturbate" bumper sticker.)
  2. 12-15-2004, 07:31 PM #2
    iceman
    iceman is offline Funky But Chic
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    Magnetic was a copout.

    Get him some epoxy for a present and epoxy that thing on there before he knows about it. Then give him the rest of the epoxy for a present.
  3. 12-15-2004, 07:33 PM #3
    Castro's's Avatar
    Castro's
    Castro's is offline <--You are what you eat
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    Take a bucket and put two or three Butterfingers in it. Then fill it with water and let it sit over night. Put the lid on it and wrap it up (with the water in it). You'll be amazed how it looks exactly like you shit in a bucket. If you don't open the gifts at work until the end of the day you can throw the Butterfingers in the bucket at in the morning so they don't fall apart too much.
    "Whoever said skiing on fat skis is like having sex with a fat chick, has obviously never had sex with a fat chick." -Jack Handy
  4. 12-15-2004, 07:46 PM #4
    cmsummit's Avatar
    cmsummit
    cmsummit is offline Transplanted Mainiac
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    Quote Originally Posted by Castro's
    Take a bucket and put two or three Butterfingers in it. Then fill it with water and let it sit over night. Put the lid on it and wrap it up (with the water in it). You'll be amazed how it looks exactly like you shit in a bucket. If you don't open the gifts at work until the end of the day you can throw the Butterfingers in the bucket at in the morning so they don't fall apart too much.
    You mean Baby Ruth's, right? Caddyshack style.
    Old's Cool.
  5. 12-15-2004, 07:59 PM #5
    Castro's's Avatar
    Castro's
    Castro's is offline <--You are what you eat
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    Quote Originally Posted by cmsummit
    You mean Baby Ruth's, right? Caddyshack style.
    They work too, in fact probably even better because you get the nuts floating around. I used Butterfingers one year. Has the brown diahrea affect. How about this, two Baby Ruths and one Butterfinger. Or give it a test run the night before using one of the other.
    "Whoever said skiing on fat skis is like having sex with a fat chick, has obviously never had sex with a fat chick." -Jack Handy
  6. 12-15-2004, 07:59 PM #6
    Ski Beaver's Avatar
    Ski Beaver
    Ski Beaver is offline I'm Melting
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    get them a mouse.
    Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of resume's in the bin without reading them.
  7. 12-15-2004, 08:17 PM #7
    truth
    truth is offline click click boom
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    These are perfect!

    I got em for all my friends.
  8. 12-15-2004, 08:30 PM #8
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    Helicrackjnky
    Helicrackjnky is offline HelicrackJNKY
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    This definately calls for a Chia Pet!! Perhaps you could throw in the Herb Garden as well!!
  9. 12-15-2004, 08:55 PM #9
    Parvo Pup's Avatar
    Parvo Pup
    Parvo Pup is offline Foolishly impertinent
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    Chinese guys LOVE McDonalds - get him a pack of gift certificates.

    Biggu Maccu Muthfucka
    ADD and damn proud of it.
  10. 12-15-2004, 09:33 PM #10
    ak_powder_monkey's Avatar
    ak_powder_monkey
    ak_powder_monkey is offline In van, down by the river
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    get him a sticker that says "I am a master baiter" with a bobber and hook with worm
    Its not that I suck at spelling, its that I just don't care
  11. 12-16-2004, 07:11 AM #11
    snow_slider's Avatar
    snow_slider
    snow_slider is offline Setting a bad example
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    Meat scented air fresheners are always a good call:
    http://www.stupid.com/stat/METF.html

    Or, go with shock roulette:
    http://www.stupid.com/stat/SHOK.html
    Of all the muthafuckas on earth, you the muthafuckest.
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