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  1. #36476
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Ontario Canada eh
    Posts
    3,497
    Quote Originally Posted by wyeaster View Post
    delco?
    Larry Nodder ?

  2. #36477
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Ontario Canada eh
    Posts
    3,497

  3. #36478
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    17,698
    happy birthday, art shirk!

  4. #36479
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    PNW
    Posts
    3,740

  5. #36480
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Ontario Canada eh
    Posts
    3,497
    Quote Originally Posted by splat View Post
    My favourite thing aboot Joe Dirt

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qgsnoNXA73U

  6. #36481
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    here and there
    Posts
    14,556
    Ah yes.
    watch out for snakes

  7. #36482
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    north aspect
    Posts
    43,572
    Quote Originally Posted by wyeaster View Post
    delco?
    that was good but the image still haunts me
    bF
    Alpental Indigenous

  8. #36483
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    29,083
    Yo.


  9. #36484
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    18,116
    Quote Originally Posted by Kenny Satch View Post
    I say don't hide the nipples

    McMansion nips!

  10. #36485
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    29,083

  11. #36486
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    149
    ^^^ fucking gold

  12. #36487
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    in a box on the porch
    Posts
    4,210

  13. #36488
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    here and there
    Posts
    14,556
    Speedy been logged on to turtle pr0n a lot lately.
    watch out for snakes

  14. #36489
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    here and there
    Posts
    14,556

  15. #36490
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Ontario Canada eh
    Posts
    3,497
    Tortoises seem to be hard wired for porn.



    Possible porno title - Speedy Comes out of his Shell
    Last edited by Kenny Satch; 07-02-2019 at 12:25 PM.

  16. #36491
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Ontario Canada eh
    Posts
    3,497
    Wow. Imagine having a pack of them surrounding you ?

  17. #36492
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    here and there
    Posts
    14,556
    Quote Originally Posted by Kenny Satch View Post
    Wow. Imagine having a pack of them surrounding you ?
    And all you got is a sharpened stick.
    watch out for snakes

  18. #36493
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    29,083

  19. #36494
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    In the shadow of the wasatch
    Posts
    2,676
    Bewbs an buttz an a humn centipede i approve of







    Bunny Don't Surf

  20. #36495
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    north by northwest
    Posts
    9,268
    Quote Originally Posted by TheFugitive View Post
    very high forehead-to-hair ratio, but still have her cleaned up and bring her to my chambers. i'm sick of IG fatasses

  21. #36496
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    2,236
    If you noticed forehead you’re doing it wrong. NTTIAWWT.


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  22. #36497
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Left Field
    Posts
    46,758
    Quote Originally Posted by Kenny Satch View Post
    Wow. Imagine having a pack of them surrounding you ?
    Well something killed it and cut its head off it would seem.

  23. #36498
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    north by northwest
    Posts
    9,268
    kids these days

    If you aren't familiar with the "Major Tom", it's because it's a thing I (hopefully) came up with. It's a form of "auto-erotic asphyxiation" by using gravity.

    Basically, you jack off normally; but before you nut, you squat down as low as you can to the ground and breathe short shallow breaths while still whacking it. This part is called "Getting in the shuttle."

    As you nut, you jump up from that squatting position as fast as you possibly fucking can and hold your breath. This is considered "Take off."

    If performed correctly, you should become VERY lightheaded and experience pure bliss due to the orgasm from your cock rocket. This is called "Being in space" due to the fact you feel like you're floating.

    This is a technique that should be performed only by professionals, in a controlled environment. I, however, am not a professional despite creating the technique. You see, by hyperventilating and jumping up, you are literally cutting your brain off from oxygen. No oxygen = no consciousness.

    When I "Took off" I fucking jumped up at Mach 50 and must've ripped a fucking hole in the goddamn space-time continuum. Because the next thing I know I was laying on the ground with my dick out, covered in space juices from my trip around the sun.

    Before I could even pick myself up off the ground, my mom rushed into my room to see if I was okay. She heard my re-entry. This part is called "Disappointing your mother."

    You can just imagine the scene she walked into.

    She stared at me with a mix of disgust, anger, and again, disappointment. I stared back with what I thought was confidence like I was Buzz Aldrin and just got back from the moon. But thinking back on it, it was probably embarrassment while I was desperately trying to put my space plane back in the hangar while getting on my feet as quickly as possible, and due to the fact, she's never caught me before. (At least not to my knowledge.)

    She ended up closing the door and stomping her way back to the living room, presumably to watch more Judge Judy, and to take her mind off of what she just fucking witnessed; or consider disowning me. I cleaned myself up, taking off my spacesuit and putting civilian clothing on. Somehow none of the rocket fuel managed to get in the carpet, just my clothes, and I managed to not even injure myself in the crash.

    I'm currently writing this in my room right now, and I don't plan on leaving it anytime soon until I can think of what to say to her. If there is anything to say at all.

    TL;DR: Just like Icarus, I flew too close to the sun and came crashing back to Earth, covered in Space Juice™

  24. #36499
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Posts
    10,755
    ^ Can’t stop laughing.
    Jesus rides beside me, he never buys any smokes.

  25. #36500
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    5,319

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