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  1. #37826
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    in the mouth of a desert
    Posts
    2,151
    Quote Originally Posted by splat View Post
    So, coming out of anesthesia after an achilles rupture repair:


    Nurse: Well, you are waking up from the anesthesia quickly!

    Me: That's due to years of drug and alcohol abuse.


    I was joking, but for some reason she didn't think it was funny.

  2. #37827
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    I can still smell Poutine.
    Posts
    24,678
    Quote Originally Posted by PassTheDutchie View Post
    So, coming out of anesthesia after an achilles rupture repair:


    Nurse: Well, you are waking up from the anesthesia quickly!

    Me: That's due to years of drug and alcohol abuse.


    I was joking, but for some reason she didn't think it was funny.
    Ya, I have had a similar reaction to a similar statement in a similar situation.

  3. #37828
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    Posts
    1,279
    I have a buddy who was a nurse.
    Was assisting in a colonoscopy.
    Dude was super alert, even with a ton of meds.

    My buddy says; "Hey, you're mighty chipper and awake with all the meds you got on board."
    Patient: Ah, well, it's probably because I've led a wild life and, ahem, have a high drug tolerance.
    My buddy: Ah - that explains it. But, given your current situation - that really doesn't seem like a bonus.
    Patient: Them's the breaks, I guess.

    Patient and my buddy chuckle together.

  4. #37829
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Alpine Meadows, CA
    Posts
    4,452
    That reminds me. I have another colonoscopy coming up. I love making jokes when they get started. Who has some good ones for me?
    **
    I'm a cougar, not a MILF! I have to protect my rep! - bklyn

    In any case, if you're ever really in this situation make sure you at least bargain in a couple of fluffers.
    -snowsprite

  5. #37830
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    Mostly the Elks, mostly.
    Posts
    1,283
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinecure View Post
    That reminds me. I have another colonoscopy coming up. I love making jokes when they get started. Who has some good ones for me?
    You could go big:

    https://www.tetongravity.com/forums/...highlight=joke

    I always go to lame PG jokes under big meds:
    'Why'd the little mermaid wear sea shells' type of crap.

  6. #37831
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    Greg_o
    Posts
    2,661
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinecure View Post
    That reminds me. I have another colonoscopy coming up. I love making jokes when they get started. Who has some good ones for me?
    The might appreciate the humour to break the tension, but assume they've heard them all.

  7. #37832
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Stuck in perpetual Meh
    Posts
    35,247
    Quote Originally Posted by MiddleOfNight View Post
    I always go to lame PG jokes under big meds:
    'Why'd the little mermaid wear sea shells' type of crap.

  8. #37833
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    5,531
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinecure View Post
    That reminds me. I have another colonoscopy coming up. I love making jokes when they get started. Who has some good ones for me?
    I hear that you can barely feel the cameras they're using these days... technology is really amazing.

    Quote Originally Posted by XXX-er View Post
    the situation strikes me as WAY too much drama at this point

  9. #37834
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Down In A Hole, Up in the Sky
    Posts
    35,451
    Forum Cross Pollinator, gratuitously strident

  10. #37835
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    Mostly the Elks, mostly.
    Posts
    1,283
    Quote Originally Posted by Tippster View Post
    Cause A shells and B shells were too little.

    Sorry, I thought it went without saying

  11. #37836
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Stuck in perpetual Meh
    Posts
    35,247
    Quote Originally Posted by MiddleOfNight View Post
    Cause A shells and B shells were too little.

    Sorry, I thought it went without saying

  12. #37837
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    3,230
    Hey doc - you got a backstage pass for that ass?


    Sent from my iPhone using TGR Forums

  13. #37838
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Suckramento
    Posts
    21,467
    Quote Originally Posted by Sinecure View Post
    That reminds me. I have another colonoscopy coming up. I love making jokes when they get started. Who has some good ones for me?
    LET ME KNOW IF YOU FIND: 1. AMELIA ERHART; 2. THOSE LOST MINERS; 3. THE HOLY GRAIL OR ARK OF THE COVENANT; 4. JIMMY HOFFA
    Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
    Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
    Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.


  14. #37839
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    33,440
    Bacon surplus at an all-time high


  15. #37840
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    19,320
    All signs point up.


  16. #37841
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    The Cone of Uncertainty
    Posts
    49,306
    re:^^ (up past the tits) 80 million pigs seems like a lot.

  17. #37842
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Posts
    2,577
    Quote Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark View Post
    All signs point up.

    Look at the powder skirt on her

  18. #37843
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    2,774
    Quote Originally Posted by CascadeLuke View Post
    Look at the powder skirt on her
    ok, i laughed
    what's orange and looks good on hippies?
    fire

    rails are for trains
    If I had a dollar for every time capitalism was blamed for problems caused by the government I'd be a rich fat film maker in a baseball hat.

    www.theguideshut.ca

  19. #37844
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    Mostly the Elks, mostly.
    Posts
    1,283
    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    re:^^ (up past the tits) 80 million pigs seems like a lot.
    Wow. Current inventory?

    if we assume 26 weeks to slaughter, 160m hd per year.
    each producing +/- 145lbs, so 23.2 billion lbs.
    330million people in the US .. so what, 70lbs of pork each?
    Subtract the vegans and veggies, I'll get extra!

    nom!

  20. #37845
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    in the trench
    Posts
    15,717
    Quote Originally Posted by CascadeLuke View Post
    Look at the powder skirt on her
    Oh there it is. Been looking all over. Score!

    Sent from my SM-G950W using TGR Forums mobile app

  21. #37846
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Location
    59715
    Posts
    7,485
    Quote Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark View Post
    All signs point up.

    That's as clean as a Safeway chicken.

  22. #37847
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Suckramento
    Posts
    21,467
    Quote Originally Posted by splat View Post
    Bacon surplus at an all-time high

    https://www.tetongravity.com/forums/...(Pork-related)
    Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
    Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
    Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.


  23. #37848
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    here and there
    Posts
    18,593
    Quote Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark View Post
    All signs point up.

    Click image for larger version. 

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    watch out for snakes

  24. #37849
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    33,440

  25. #37850
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    6,401
    The pork talk is interesting given the recent calimities in East coast. Did they just slaughter a bunch and will have a shortage soon?

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