Part 2: Padded Room Special Collection Of Junk That More Than Likely Will Be NSFW

[wyeaster]

happy birthday, art shirk!

[k2skier112]

[Kenny Satch]

My favourite thing aboot Joe Dirt

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qgsnoNXA73U

[SB]

Ah yes.

[splat]

Yo.

[The AD]

I say don't hide the nipples

McMansion nips!

[splat]

[scrambledbacon]

^^^ fucking gold

[skiballs]

[SB]

Speedy been logged on to turtle pr0n a lot lately.

[SB]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ilJ-8jdEv5I

[Kenny Satch]

Tortoises seem to be hard wired for porn.



Possible porno title - Speedy Comes out of his Shell

[Kenny Satch]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ilJ-8jdEv5I

Wow. Imagine having a pack of them surrounding you ?

[SB]

Wow. Imagine having a pack of them surrounding you ?

And all you got is a sharpened stick.

[splat]

[happytimefunbox]

Bewbs an buttz an a humn centipede i approve of

[f2f]

very high forehead-to-hair ratio, but still have her cleaned up and bring her to my chambers. i'm sick of IG fatasses

[retirwntm]

If you noticed forehead you’re doing it wrong. NTTIAWWT.


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[iceman]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ilJ-8jdEv5I

Wow. Imagine having a pack of them surrounding you ?

Well something killed it and cut its head off it would seem.

[f2f]

kids these days

If you aren't familiar with the "Major Tom", it's because it's a thing I (hopefully) came up with. It's a form of "auto-erotic asphyxiation" by using gravity.

Basically, you jack off normally; but before you nut, you squat down as low as you can to the ground and breathe short shallow breaths while still whacking it. This part is called "Getting in the shuttle."

As you nut, you jump up from that squatting position as fast as you possibly fucking can and hold your breath. This is considered "Take off."

If performed correctly, you should become VERY lightheaded and experience pure bliss due to the orgasm from your cock rocket. This is called "Being in space" due to the fact you feel like you're floating.

This is a technique that should be performed only by professionals, in a controlled environment. I, however, am not a professional despite creating the technique. You see, by hyperventilating and jumping up, you are literally cutting your brain off from oxygen. No oxygen = no consciousness.

When I "Took off" I fucking jumped up at Mach 50 and must've ripped a fucking hole in the goddamn space-time continuum. Because the next thing I know I was laying on the ground with my dick out, covered in space juices from my trip around the sun.

Before I could even pick myself up off the ground, my mom rushed into my room to see if I was okay. She heard my re-entry. This part is called "Disappointing your mother."

You can just imagine the scene she walked into.

She stared at me with a mix of disgust, anger, and again, disappointment. I stared back with what I thought was confidence like I was Buzz Aldrin and just got back from the moon. But thinking back on it, it was probably embarrassment while I was desperately trying to put my space plane back in the hangar while getting on my feet as quickly as possible, and due to the fact, she's never caught me before. (At least not to my knowledge.)

She ended up closing the door and stomping her way back to the living room, presumably to watch more Judge Judy, and to take her mind off of what she just fucking witnessed; or consider disowning me. I cleaned myself up, taking off my spacesuit and putting civilian clothing on. Somehow none of the rocket fuel managed to get in the carpet, just my clothes, and I managed to not even injure myself in the crash.

I'm currently writing this in my room right now, and I don't plan on leaving it anytime soon until I can think of what to say to her. If there is anything to say at all.

TL;DR: Just like Icarus, I flew too close to the sun and came crashing back to Earth, covered in Space Juice™

[Meadow Skipper]

^ Can’t stop laughing.

[muted]

Stereotypes are funny, sorry.

[splat]

[Fritz]

Lol


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[SkiBall]

Mag?
https://www.sheboyganpress.com/story...medium=ios_app
Sheboygan serial toilet clogger sentenced to 150 days in jail, probation
SHEBOYGAN - A 26-year-old Sheboygan man was sentenced Monday to three years of probation for clogging women's toilets in Deland Park and at his place of work.

Patrick D. Beeman was originally charged with 12 misdemeanors of criminal damage to property, but seven of the charges were dismissed in early June.

As conditions of probation, Beeman will have to serve 150 days in jail, pay more than $5,500 in restitution, not be allowed to possess or consumer alcohol or any controlled substances, and complete 100 hours of community service.

While the state only recommended Beeman serve 30 days in jail as part of his probation, Judge Kent Hoffmann sentenced him to 30 days for each of the five counts of criminal damage to property, served consecutively, citing the need for a more severe punishment.

Beeman will be able to participate in the Huber program, which will allow him to continue working at his current job, but require him to report back to jail each day after work.