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  1. #26
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    funland
    Posts
    4,371
    I learned pretty quickly on this board that if none of my non-internet friends wanted to go skiing with me, I could almost always find someone here that's up for it. Also learned that even some of the people who appear to be shitheads on this board are really good folks-- so don't be afraid to go skiing with the maggots!

  2. #27
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    slc
    Posts
    3,669
    i learned that being a lady on here was kinda tough at first ...now it's gotten much better.

    w00t for the ladies.

    Nice work cletus.
    you sketchy character, you

  3. #28
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Transient
    Posts
    672
    Excellent revision, Cletus!

    As for words of advise...Think long and hard about your board name. Pick one that you'll be proud to respond to for years to come. And when you do something really JONGish that people will remember you for, take a hiatus from the board for awhile, come up with a new screen name, and come back when you're ready to respect this community and everything it stands for.
    "College degree. Good job. Big house. We all make mistakes..."

    www.lizmarshall.zenfolio.com

  4. #29
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Left Field
    Posts
    38,589
    Sticky-fied!!!

    Mr. Owens, you rule. Thanks for everything.

  5. #30
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    LV-426
    Posts
    13,794
    Quote Originally Posted by Buster Highmen
    We are gross and perverted
    We're snow obsessed 'n deranged
    We have skied for years
    But very little has changed
    We're the tools of the ski media
    And ski industry too
    For we are destined to rule
    And regulate you

    We may be vile and pernicious
    When we bend the knees
    We make you think we're delicious
    With the stuff that we skis
    We're the best you can get
    Have you guessed us yet?
    We're the slime oozin' out
    Of the Internet

    You will obey us while we guide you
    And ski garbage that we slide you
    Until the day that we don't ride you
    Don't go for help . . . no one will hide you
    Your secret stash is avie controlled
    And all the gapers have been told
    And you will ski as you are told
    Until the rights to you are sold

    That's right, folks . . .
    Don't touch that mouse

    Well, we are the slime from the internet
    Oozin' along on your monitor screen

    We are the slime from the internet
    Just read some more and we'll make you scream.
    ....

    (apologies to FZ)
    Shouldn't it be "apologies to KMFDM"?

    UAIOE:
    gross and perverted
    obsessed and deranged
    I have existed for years
    but very little has changed
    I'm a tool of the government
    and in the street too
    for I'm destined to rule
    and I'm gonna regulate you

    vile and pernicious
    but you can't look away
    may you think I'm delicious
    with the stuff that I say
    I'm the best you can get
    have you guessed it yet?
    I'm the slime oozing out
    from your TV sets

    tell me you love me (x3)
    like I want you to
    I love you so right now
    I'm right for you
    I want to come inside
    get a hold on you

    just get me wasted and
    you're half way there
    if my mind's torn up
    then I really don't care
    I am the air
    I am the water
    I am the dirt beneath your shoes
    tie her up
    strip down and get loose
    fuck yourself up
    corrupt your body and soul
    sooner or later you'll believe what I told

    tell me you love me
    like I want you to
    I love you so right now
    I'm right for you
    burning with the fire
    of my heart's desire
    tell me--tell me
    tell me you love me...

    Kein Mehrheit Fur Die Mitlied !

  6. #31
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    In the rain
    Posts
    1,477
    Talking Smack and Trip reports,

    Sure we like a good yarn, we like to hear about new, weird and wonderful places to ski, we do like them a whole lot more with pictures.

    Beware pictures tell a thousand words, so don't use someone else’s pictures to back up your armchair trip report.....one of us might have been there , one of us may have skied with you......you might entice maggots to ski with you...some can ski, some have put up scary first decent and then some just pull double backs off 40 footers for breakfast.

  7. #32
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    a few blocks from the beach
    Posts
    2,933
    When in doubt, ask for change for a nickel.

  8. #33
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    uTardedland
    Posts
    10,963

    Talking

    Hi, Im new here. So what are you guys all about? I like to snowboard, but skiing is for dorks.




    Oh, and these Summits, can anyone come, cause I hear the first one of the season is in Utah around Dec 15-20th. Do you have to be a card carrying member to ride with you all? Sounds like a great way to meet some of you and kick off the season proper.






    Nice Cletyos!! I dig.



    And I have no sister.
    Last edited by Buzzworthy; 11-20-2004 at 02:21 PM.
    "boobs just make the world better really" - Woodsy

  9. #34
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Jack Tone Road
    Posts
    12,828
    Quote Originally Posted by SherpaStyle
    As for words of advise...Think long and hard about your board name. Pick one that you'll be proud to respond to for years to come.
    A word of advice: It should probably not be that of an '80s sitcom character (unless it's "Mrs. Garrett").

  10. #35
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    818
    Quote Originally Posted by laseranimal

    always remember post first, then smoke crack
    Being new, I have to ask. Are there any examples of it being done the otherway around?

  11. #36
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Sawtooth's
    Posts
    1,334

    JONG question

    Quote Originally Posted by yogachik
    When in doubt, ask for change for a nickel.
    Coming from a JONG what does this mean? That was one thing that was not covered.

  12. #37
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Bouldenver, Colorado
    Posts
    3,648
    EDIT: nothing more to add from this corner!
    Last edited by Yossarian; 11-21-2004 at 07:41 PM.
    Thrutchworthy Production Services

  13. #38
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Fat City, USA
    Posts
    3,515

    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by SherpaStyle
    As for words of advise...Think long and hard about your board name. Pick one that you'll be proud to respond to for years to come.
    Very good advice Sherpa. I'm thinking a change is in order for my board name sometime in the near future. I came up with the glademaster theme in like 5th grade and it's been everything from screen name to email addy to board names on interweb forums everywhere, but I think I can do better.

    I picked it because I was a dork and I thought it would sound cool and make people think I was super-rad, but that's b.s. Pick something that truly repesents who you are, or at least something funny and memorable. On that note, does anyone have suggestions on a possible name change for me, or do ya like the handle? Maybe I'll have a better idea after I spend some time with you nutjobs out in Ootah in like 3 weeks. w00t w00t

    Oh yeah, and great thread Yoss.

  14. #39
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    R.O.C.
    Posts
    4,043
    Yoss is preaching the gospel!

    Please add stand-up philosopher & wandering minstrel to the list.

    Lets hear it for the Powder Nation.
    Calmer than you dude

  15. #40
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    The San Pornando Valley
    Posts
    682
    Quote Originally Posted by Yossarian

    So gang, where's your nuggies of "wisdom" for the newbs?
    If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
    probably worth it.

    What a difference ayear makes.....
    Nice job

  16. #41
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    shinjuku
    Posts
    75
    do not polute. if you are polute, you are drown.

    Deep in cavern Whelk can feel polution, i will rise, as a malestrom of hate, and destroy from above with warm spew of death. and then you are drown.


    shinjuku, MOTHERFUCKER!

  17. #42
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    between here and there
    Posts
    6,247
    Quote Originally Posted by Out_to_lunch
    Being new, I have to ask. Are there any examples of it being done the otherway around?
    you just did it. Way to make yourself an example for others to learn from.
    More fucked up than a cricket in a hubcap

  18. #43
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Sydney, Australia
    Posts
    881
    Quote Originally Posted by glademaster
    Very good advice Sherpa. I'm thinking a change is in order for my board name sometime in the near future. I came up with the glademaster theme in like 5th grade and it's been everything from screen name to email addy to board names on interweb forums everywhere, but I think I can do better.

    I picked it because I was a dork and I thought it would sound cool and make people think I was super-rad, but that's b.s. Pick something that truly repesents who you are, or at least something funny and memorable. On that note, does anyone have suggestions on a possible name change for me, or do ya like the handle?
    We have been through this already.

    Bad Roo suggested you just remove the g, d, e, a, s and the t.

    I said, do away with it the name altogether and just call yourself PAD or PAD900posts.
    Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of resume's in the bin without reading them.

  19. #44
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    In the moment
    Posts
    4,029
    Quote Originally Posted by SherpaStyle
    Excellent revision, Cletus!

    As for words of advise...Think long and hard about your board name. Pick one that you'll be proud to respond to for years to come.
    On a related note- lurk around a bit and try to come up with an original name. We've got Mtn. Man and Mountainman, altachic and altagirl, Beaver and Ski Beaver, etc.

    And only losers choose a screenname that's a hybrid of the skier who's influenced them the most and a 17th century playwright.
    "There is a hell of a huge difference between skiing as a sport- or even as a lifestyle- and skiing as an industry"
    Hunter S. Thompson, 1970 (RIP)

  20. #45
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Fort Collins
    Posts
    2,049
    Change for a nickle = universal maggot call
    Crack before post = saying something stupid...duh
    "I smell varmint puntang."

  21. #46
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Emulating the ocean's sound
    Posts
    7,019
    do not think about Thelonious in a sexual way. bottom line.

  22. #47
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Where babies are made
    Posts
    2,343
    Nice work! Good to see the Welcome Wagon rolled out again.

    Words of wisdom:
    Posting porn or links to porn is always welcomed - especially so on Fridays, but toss a NSFW (Not Safe For Work) notice either in the subject line of posts containing photos, or in the post body for posts with links.

    Basically, use common sense and let us cube monkeys know if there's something in the post we shouldn't view during office hours.
    Of all the muthafuckas on earth, you the muthafuckest.

  23. #48
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    right side of the couch
    Posts
    34,665
    A few items I've gleaned:

    -Maggot-specific terminology: BINDERS, SPANCERED, MANG, SOLLY, EXPLODERS... (others?)

    -For some reason Markers suck. The collective believes they pre-release worse than Tyrolias, which I've found to be patently untrue, but I'll be a sheep and BAAA when prompted.

    -Pocket Rockets are to be treated in the same manner as Markers, yet are the guilty pleasure of more Magnions than you think.

    -A few spelling hints:
    NAIVE
    DEFINITELY (Thanks, Icemang)
    Also, knowing when and how to use THEIR, THERE, and THEY'RE is recommended. Not 'cause I'm some kind of Spelling Nazi (not MY alias,) but it lowers the bar of your perceived brilliance.

    -It helps if you're a gay democrat treehugger dopesmoker from West of the Mississippi. Otherwise you better be a gay democrat treehugger dopesmoker from East of the Mississippi, or be named Brett and be a douchebag that you'd love to ski with.

    -VICARIOUS POWHOUND is NOT a good name to choose. Neither Is HRDCORESNORIDER.

    Edit for "I before E except after C."
    Last edited by Tippster; 11-22-2004 at 12:04 PM.

  24. #49
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Posts
    2,923
    Quote Originally Posted by Tippster
    A few items I've gleaned:

    -For some reason Markers suck. The collective believes they pre-release worse than Tyrolias, which I've found to be patently untrue, but I'll be a sheep and BAAA when prompted.
    Make sure you ask VTskibum about his pants next time you see him.

    edit - Really. I'm not joking.

  25. #50
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Left Field
    Posts
    38,589
    This thread needs a picture of Thelonius.

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