Changing your poop cycle

[Sessiøn]

Dunno if this should be in Tech Talk, but it just feels better here.

I need to change my poop schedule. My current problem is that between 8 and 9 AM EVERY morning i have to drop an enormous deuce. During the summer this is not really an issue. But winter is another matter altogether.

Lifts spin at 9. Sometimes I have to rush out of line, and drop a massive deuce, other times I'm pulling into the lot crowning something fierce. And the worst is after one run having to go back down and hit the crapper.

So has anyone ever modified their schedule? How did you do it? School me.

[sIlentRagE]

strong coffee

[frorider]

[OldLarry]

for me just putting ski boots on makes me have to dook. skates, too.

[A-wreck]

Eat a vicodin or two the night before you go skiing.... not even strong coffee will be able to break through

[Moeghoul]

Wake up 2 hours earlier, coffee and a few cigs always work.

[JimmyCarter]

Opium or coke, depending on which way you want to push the cycle.

[Poop~Ghost]

Nothing like a pre-game warmup before a hockey game.

Putting on a climbing harness will also do the trick. Sometimes it's the weight of a rack settling over your shoulders or waist that trigger it. But that'll get me going from 0-60 in a few seconds and then it's a mad dash... a race you do not want to lose.

[G]

Eat breakfast earlier. consuming food and drink stimulates your colon to give a squeeze.

google Gastrocolic Reflex.


Also might try diet change, with a little more fiber. Flaxseed oil is pretty awesome, too.

[ectreeskier11]

my winter shit schedule sucks too, it's either coming out when i get to the mountain or after a run. normal days, NBD but on a pow day i usually just get my shit on real fuckin fast and then pinch out a loaf. by default it's usually poppin about 20-30 minutes after coffee.

[Thrill Hammer]

poop while riding the lift

problem = solved

[XXX-er]

try a bowl of fibre 1 the night before or flax seed bread if you wana go

[Sagamoron]

I have the same issue.

Everyday at 645, when I get back from the dogs AM walk. But weekends I usually fish, meaning I am at the boat at 430 AM and no where near a can at 645. I try and sneak one out at the marina, but that doesn't always TCB. Especially when I throw in a tin of skoal and large Dunks on the drive to the boat.....

I've tried to cut out the AM coffee on fishing days, but end up with brutal headache around noon from the caffiene withdrawls.

Sometimes ya gotta duece off the swim platform, it happens

[Sessiøn]

These are all great pieces of advice, but I want to get my daily deuce going in the afternoon. I get up at 5:30 - 6:00 AM to hit the parking lot at 0800. The people who run the HRM "lodge" at MHM are not the most puctual people. I stood with a turtle head poking out for about 20 minutes one morning while a line formed behind me.

[XXX-er]

[ame]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malva[/ame]

try a chinese tea made from this plant ,I picked some up from the chinese foods section of a loblaws store (biggest food store in canada ) ,the box has english writing but it just said something about it being Natural ...NOWHERE does it mention laxitive

I have some at night watching the tube ,its very tasty and satisfying ,wake up in the AM hit the can right away get cleaned out pretty good ... don't connect the dots

I have somemore of that delicious tea again that night ,wake up again head for the can and a good purge ... ok there is a pattern developing

I do a little reasearch and realize its actualy a very good laxitive that was in the food section with the rice noodles,green tea and hot sauce

the tea came in 2 strengths so I got the stronger but I assumed it was just stronger flavor ...suggest you try the less strong to begin with

[bmg97]

I think you may need to change you diet in order to change your cycle. Try eating dinner earlier the night before. You can also try putting your gear on early and see if that fakes the shit monster out.

[skiski]

These are all great pieces of advice, but I want to get my daily deuce going in the afternoon.

That's unpossible. Everyone knows you can't change to a regular afternoon cycle. I'm pretty sure your colon will explode if you try. Keep on dreaming, you crazy bastard

[Shredhead]

Get it done early, who knows were you'll be in the afternoon?

[haydukelives]

I think you may need to change you diet in order to change your cycle. Try eating dinner earlier the night before. You can also try putting your gear on early and see if that fakes the shit monster out.

exactly.eat dinner earlier.works for dogs too

[leroy jenkins]

I find it amazing you guys are on such a precisely timed schedule, I shit whenever. I also eat whenever too though, so that may have something to do with it.

I have found that probably due to years of associative conditioning, if I even remotely have to shit, the act of sitting on a crapper almost always just makes me empty my bowels, almost immediately. Have you ever tried sitting on the crapper before you leave home in the morning? Maybe a little toke to speed things along? If I'm about to do something and want to hurry up and fecalize the porcelain pond before hand, but dont REALLY need to after a couple hits and reading a page or two of some book while sitting on the crapper, I am almost always able to unload a load of brown trout.

I really enjoy using a variety of ways to describe the act of evacuating your bowels, by the way, in case you didnt notice.

[sIlentRagE]

Putting on a climbing harness will also do the trick. Sometimes it's the weight of a rack settling over your shoulders or waist that trigger it. But that'll get me going from 0-60 in a few seconds and then it's a mad dash... a race you do not want to lose.

Many years ago, I had not dumped after 6 days on a big wall climb. Luckily, I led the last pitch because about 10 feet from the top I got that very special feeling in my bowels. I finished the pitch, built the quickest anchor in the history of climbing, fixed the lines, untied, and dashed to the nearest tree. What followed was the most blissful relief I could ever imagine. Unbeknownst to me was my partner yelling for me for a solid 10 minutes. When I returned to yell 'line fixed' and haul the bag, the combination of finishing a wall and relieving a 6-day itch had me on cloud nine. After my partner jugged the line I explained what happened. He understood completely...

[DeeAre]

Senna Tea. Google it. Works wonders for me when I travel, as i tend to lock up when I so much as change area codes.

[Rip'nStick]

I have found that probably due to years of associative conditioning, if I even remotely have to shit, the act of sitting on a crapper almost always just makes me empty my bowels, almost immediately. Have you ever tried sitting on the crapper before you leave home in the morning?

Grab latest Powder mag, sit on pot. Don't leave for a couple of minutes or until done. You can easily condition yourself to go earlier.

I don't usually reply to poop threads but I am a big believer in regular and in the morning. Helps with backpacking/mountaineering too so you are somewhere decent and not on the trail or halfway up the mountain in the snow. Don't shit in snow unless you're dropping it int the crevasse. Definitely ruins it for the next guy.

[schuss]

Slam coffee as soon as you get up, then roll to the bathroom. Earlier is your only chance. Only other option is to eat light dinners.

[powdork]

i gotta go with Poop*Ghost on this one. For some reason I trust his opinion on this matter.

daily regimen including activia and as many veggies as i can stomach (plus the 2 lbs red meat) helps keep me as quick in the morning as possible, usually right when i wake up and once more when i walk out the door. if i'm leaving before 6 am i'm gonna have to go again, so mountain money is a staple in the pack.

switch to afternoon??? everybody knows you can't go full returd.