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  1. #1
    Bob Barnes Guest

    Where is skiing headed??

    After reading a few threads on your wonderful board here, I've felt the need to point a few things out.


    etiquette


    Your real skier is a gentlemen or gentlewomen, and the first precept of his on-or-off the slope behavior is uniform courtesy, helpfulness, and meticulous regard for the needs and comforts of others.....He knows that borrowing waxes, ...screwdriver, or whatever else may be needed on the slope can be a nuisance to his fellows...You will never see him drinking to excess,....boasting about his prowess.....

    The real skier never yells "Track!" unless he has to...If he falls, he immediately rises, fills in the holes he made, and gets out of the track of other skiers.

    .....Nose thumbing at the rules of a slope or at the warning of the local ski patrol....is not a mark of independent courage, but of childish misbehavior. Attempting a slope or trail which is marked "expert" when one is an intermediate shows one to be foolish, not brave, and a menace to other skiers as well.

    The women skier who knows her etiquette carries her own equipment fastens her own bindings, cleans and waxes her own skis.....

    The real skier is a good companion on the way home......

    Makes you wonder about the meaning of "progress", doesn't it?

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bob Barnes
    Where is skiing headed??
    Downhill. I thought that was the point...

    oh, and JONG.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bob Barnes
    The real skier is a good companion on the way home.....

    good point bob, but the real skier also is well enough prepared for regular safety meetings during the day...



  4. #4
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    Are you looking to write a sequel?

    buy it NOW!

    What if I'm not a serious person? Can I still read your book?
    Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of resume's in the bin without reading them.

  5. #5
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    "Track?" Huh? Whooooooooo are you? WTF!

  6. #6
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    [QUOTE=Bob Barnes]

    The real female skier is a good companion on the way home......

    QUOTE]


    did ya hear that ladies?
    god created man. winchester and baseball bats made them equal - evel kenievel

  7. #7
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    Back in Oz, dammit!
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  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by doofdoof
    HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!

  9. #9
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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by doofdoof
    Selling for $0.86 way to go Bob!

    It gets better

    Click on the back cover -

    Are you on the left or the right? It's kind of hard to tell.
    Last edited by Ski Beaver; 11-09-2004 at 10:08 PM. Reason: adding humour
    Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of resume's in the bin without reading them.

  11. #11
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    There is another book like this in the series - it was written by Art's brother - Mike!

    Mike Hunt
    Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of resume's in the bin without reading them.

  12. #12
    Ogre's Avatar
    Ogre is offline I don't like...nNNERRRDS!
    Join Date
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    Angry

    Quote Originally Posted by Bob Barnes
    After reading a few threads on your wonderful board here, I've felt the need to point a few things out.


    etiquette


    Your real skier is a gentlemen or gentlewomen, and the first precept of his on-or-off the slope behavior is uniform courtesy, helpfulness, and meticulous regard for the needs and comforts of others.....He knows that borrowing waxes, ...screwdriver, or whatever else may be needed on the slope can be a nuisance to his fellows...You will never see him drinking to excess,....boasting about his prowess.....

    The real skier never yells "Track!" unless he has to...If he falls, he immediately rises, fills in the holes he made, and gets out of the track of other skiers.

    .....Nose thumbing at the rules of a slope or at the warning of the local ski patrol....is not a mark of independent courage, but of childish misbehavior. Attempting a slope or trail which is marked "expert" when one is an intermediate shows one to be foolish, not brave, and a menace to other skiers as well.

    The women skier who knows her etiquette carries her own equipment fastens her own bindings, cleans and waxes her own skis.....

    The real skier is a good companion on the way home......

    Makes you wonder about the meaning of "progress", doesn't it?
    GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

    Get your GAPIC NERRRRD ass back to GAPICSKI, JONG!!!!

    You arrrrrrrrrrre not wanted herrrrrrrrrrre!!!
    NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS! NO NERDS!

  13. #13
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    So how are you finding TGR Bob?

    Ogre, some of your best right there, eyes are watering.
    Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of resume's in the bin without reading them.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bob Barnes
    You will never see him drinking to excess


    Quote Originally Posted by Bob Barnes
    If he falls, he immediately rises, fills in the holes he made, and gets out of the track of other skiers.
    I usually yell "mother fucker" as loud as I can. Then to follow it up, sometimes for emphasis, I start pointing and yelling "yeah, I mean you fuckhead"

    Quote Originally Posted by Bob Barnes
    The women skier...cleans and waxes her.....is a good companion on the way home......
    I agree

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bob Barnes
    The real skier is a good companion on the way home......
    Mmmm...road head.

  16. #16
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    I'd like to know more about yelling "TRACK!". Who the hell fills in holes? If the intermediate never stepped up to the black diamond we wouldn't be here. And what the hell constitutes drinking in excess? Thanks Bob, you take the fun out of skiing. Makes you wonder about the meaning of digress.

  17. #17
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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by Ski Beaver
    Are you looking to write a sequel?

    buy it NOW!

    What if I'm not a serious person? Can I still read your book?
    You've got to be fucking shitting me!

    Hey Bob, no wonder you ski like you have a cock up your ass. This book explains everything.....

  18. #18
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    Yeah, downhill. Or uphill, then down. Whatever floats your boat.

    Wow, what a gay book. And I thought I was a fag.
    Last edited by TAK; 11-09-2004 at 10:28 PM.
    -TAK

  19. #19
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  20. #20
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    Quoted By: Bobby's Barnes
    Where's Skiing going?
    To Hell in a Hand Basket. Now get the hell out of my TRACK, you gapper JONG.
    "A lack of planning and preparation on your part does not make it an emergency on my part."

  21. #21
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    If it was the real Bob Barnes who started this thread, I'll eat my toque.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by iceman
    If it was the real Bob Barnes who started this thread, I'll eat my toque.
    Yeah, I think I smell a lawsuit coming with this one.

  23. #23
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    Doesn't anyone believe this just a TGR/maggot person trolling, or something like that? Bob Barnes? Yes, he's a gapicski tool, but I just don't see it...it ain't phUnk, but that doesn't mean it couldn't be one of about 30 other people.
    I'm hoping that any maggots near their 'academy' workshops will videotape the buffoonery and then do human slalom at mach looney...

    edit: iceman snuck in there with my hypothesis while I was changing a baby...now I literally and figuratively have poop on my face.
    [quote][//quote]

  24. #24
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    I don't even have a real toque (I have some "hats", for what that's worth), but I would fly to Canada, buy a proper toque, and then eat it if it was in fact Bob Barnes who started this thread.

  25. #25
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    Lightbulb

    C'mon! It's the real Bob Barnes. Can't you tell from the book?

    https://www.tetongravity.com/usergall...mal_gapers.jpg

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