Where is skiing headed??

Bob Barnes · 11-09-2004, 10:29 PM

After reading a few threads on your wonderful board here, I've felt the need to point a few things out.

etiquette

Your real skier is a gentlemen or gentlewomen, and the first precept of his on-or-off the slope behavior is uniform courtesy, helpfulness, and meticulous regard for the needs and comforts of others.....He knows that borrowing waxes, ...screwdriver, or whatever else may be needed on the slope can be a nuisance to his fellows...You will never see him drinking to excess,....boasting about his prowess.....

The real skier never yells "Track!" unless he has to...If he falls, he immediately rises, fills in the holes he made, and gets out of the track of other skiers.

.....Nose thumbing at the rules of a slope or at the warning of the local ski patrol....is not a mark of independent courage, but of childish misbehavior. Attempting a slope or trail which is marked "expert" when one is an intermediate shows one to be foolish, not brave, and a menace to other skiers as well.

The women skier who knows her etiquette carries her own equipment fastens her own bindings, cleans and waxes her own skis.....

The real skier is a good companion on the way home......

Makes you wonder about the meaning of "progress", doesn't it?

**Theodore** · 11-09-2004, 10:34 PM

Originally Posted by Bob Barnes

Where is skiing headed??

Downhill. I thought that was the point...

oh, and JONG.

Z · 11-09-2004, 10:36 PM

Originally Posted by Bob Barnes

The real skier is a good companion on the way home.....

good point bob, but the real skier also is well enough prepared for regular safety meetings during the day...

**Ski Beaver** · 11-09-2004, 10:39 PM

Are you looking to write a sequel?

buy it NOW!

What if I'm not a serious person? Can I still read your book?

**FigureEleven** · 11-09-2004, 10:42 PM

"Track?" Huh? Whooooooooo are you? WTF!

**Zeedashbo** · 11-09-2004, 10:43 PM

[QUOTE=Bob Barnes]

The real female skier is a good companion on the way home......

QUOTE]

did ya hear that ladies?

**doofdoof** · 11-09-2004, 10:47 PM

What the priest said to the alter boy

**Theodore** · 11-09-2004, 10:50 PM

Originally Posted by doofdoof

What the priest said to the alter boy

HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!

**gonzo** · 11-09-2004, 10:51 PM

http://stuff.ubersite.com/1067536274...2/1/fight2.gif

**Ski Beaver** · 11-09-2004, 10:52 PM

Originally Posted by doofdoof

What the priest said to the alter boy

Selling for $0.86 way to go Bob!

It gets better

Click on the back cover -

Are you on the left or the right? It's kind of hard to tell.

**Ski Beaver** · 11-09-2004, 10:58 PM

There is another book like this in the series - it was written by Art's brother - Mike!

Mike Hunt

**Ogre** · 11-09-2004, 10:59 PM

Originally Posted by Bob Barnes

After reading a few threads on your wonderful board here, I've felt the need to point a few things out.

etiquette

Your real skier is a gentlemen or gentlewomen, and the first precept of his on-or-off the slope behavior is uniform courtesy, helpfulness, and meticulous regard for the needs and comforts of others.....He knows that borrowing waxes, ...screwdriver, or whatever else may be needed on the slope can be a nuisance to his fellows...You will never see him drinking to excess,....boasting about his prowess.....

The real skier never yells "Track!" unless he has to...If he falls, he immediately rises, fills in the holes he made, and gets out of the track of other skiers.

.....Nose thumbing at the rules of a slope or at the warning of the local ski patrol....is not a mark of independent courage, but of childish misbehavior. Attempting a slope or trail which is marked "expert" when one is an intermediate shows one to be foolish, not brave, and a menace to other skiers as well.

The women skier who knows her etiquette carries her own equipment fastens her own bindings, cleans and waxes her own skis.....

The real skier is a good companion on the way home......

Makes you wonder about the meaning of "progress", doesn't it?

GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Get your GAPIC NERRRRD ass back to GAPICSKI, JONG!!!!

You arrrrrrrrrrre not wanted herrrrrrrrrrre!!!

**Ski Beaver** · 11-09-2004, 11:02 PM

So how are you finding TGR Bob?

Ogre, some of your best right there, eyes are watering.

**crashnburn'd** · 11-09-2004, 11:12 PM

Originally Posted by Bob Barnes

You will never see him drinking to excess

Originally Posted by Bob Barnes

If he falls, he immediately rises, fills in the holes he made, and gets out of the track of other skiers.

I usually yell "mother fucker" as loud as I can. Then to follow it up, sometimes for emphasis, I start pointing and yelling "yeah, I mean you fuckhead"

Originally Posted by Bob Barnes

The women skier...cleans and waxes her.....is a good companion on the way home......

I agree

**Darkside** · 11-09-2004, 11:18 PM

Originally Posted by Bob Barnes

The real skier is a good companion on the way home......

Mmmm...road head.

**powderhound** · 11-09-2004, 11:23 PM

I'd like to know more about yelling "TRACK!". Who the hell fills in holes? If the intermediate never stepped up to the black diamond we wouldn't be here. And what the hell constitutes drinking in excess? Thanks Bob, you take the fun out of skiing. Makes you wonder about the meaning of digress.

**Superstar Punani** · 11-09-2004, 11:23 PM

Originally Posted by Ski Beaver

Are you looking to write a sequel?

buy it NOW!

What if I'm not a serious person? Can I still read your book?

You've got to be fucking shitting me!

Hey Bob, no wonder you ski like you have a cock up your ass. This book explains everything.....

**TAK** · 11-09-2004, 11:25 PM

Yeah, downhill. Or uphill, then down. Whatever floats your boat.

Wow, what a gay book. And I thought I was a fag.

**powderhound** · 11-09-2004, 11:30 PM

BOB BARNES YOU BITCH!!
http://forums.epicski.com/member.php...poster&t=19567

**rossibandit** · 11-09-2004, 11:33 PM

Quoted By: Bobby's Barnes

Where's Skiing going?

To Hell in a Hand Basket. Now get the hell out of my TRACK, you gapper JONG.

**iceman** · 11-09-2004, 11:35 PM

If it was the real Bob Barnes who started this thread, I'll eat my toque.

**release** · 11-09-2004, 11:37 PM

Originally Posted by iceman

If it was the real Bob Barnes who started this thread, I'll eat my toque.

Yeah, I think I smell a lawsuit coming with this one.

**Dexter Rutecki** · 11-09-2004, 11:38 PM

Doesn't anyone believe this just a TGR/maggot person trolling, or something like that? Bob Barnes? Yes, he's a gapicski tool, but I just don't see it...it ain't phUnk, but that doesn't mean it couldn't be one of about 30 other people.
I'm hoping that any maggots near their 'academy' workshops will videotape the buffoonery and then do human slalom at mach looney...

edit: iceman snuck in there with my hypothesis while I was changing a baby...now I literally and figuratively have poop on my face.

**iceman** · 11-09-2004, 11:47 PM

I don't even have a real toque (I have some "hats", for what that's worth), but I would fly to Canada, buy a proper toque, and then eat it if it was in fact Bob Barnes who started this thread.