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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    Dear "kit boy" at white ranch,

    Dear "kit boy" at White Ranch,

    Just cause we look like a bunch of middle age shleps, doesn't put it in your best interest to come BLASTING by us right before the first set of steps on the cinder trail. Sure, the trail is barely wide enough and you are more than welcome to "play through", but please keep in mind, if you pull a move like that before we start climbing, we expect not to see you again.

    Your matching lycra full kit looked great, we were impressed......really. I didn't catch the name on it, but a full spandex suit looks great on anyone, especially you. That carbon blur LT santa cruz sex machine you were on was sweet by the way, what does it weight in at? 26 lbs? Damn, MUST be fast. You were just wowing us with your presence right from the start. In no way did I think that I would reel you in on my 32lb monster......nor did my 4 other friends.

    I was so suprised to catch a glimpse of you again right after whippletree. This can not be, a mere 1/4 mile later to see that I was getting closer to you and quickly? no, my warm up must have been too hard, I am hallucinating on a plane of aweseomness. Must be a glitch, there is no way you are bonking less than a mile in. Then when you sat up and let me pass you, I surely thought this must be my lucky day. But wait, oh no you jumped back on your pedals and hopped in the conga line, you weren't letting go yet. 200 yards later, when I called back to see if Dave was there (as we have been chasing each other lately), after his response, I hear you say "sorry, I got his wheel and I'm not letting go". Not that he cares, sure he looks like a 200lb wrestler, but he will haunt you up any climb and wait for your carcass to drop, then laugh, dave is an animal.

    -2 seconds go by

    Now when my wheel slipped on that loose rock and I lost traction, but I didn't unclip, NEVER, EVER in my wildest dreams did I think that would be the move to make you give up, let alone that I would beat you to the bench at Mustang by at least 10 minutes. We don't feel bad about the chuckles and the few heckles you got. They were all meant in jest and good nature. And in all honesty, you had it coming.

    Few words of advice for next time:

    -Feel free to look the part, but don't act the part.
    -Tell them you are working on your LSD training
    -You never know who you are going to encounter on the trails, I have learned this lesson myself
    -Tell them or anyone that will listen its your first time to White Ranch
    -or maybe you should just stick to road biking. Not sure if you heard, but its a whole different set of muscles.

    From a guy who doesn't look the part,
    Truly and sincerely,

    Crink
    Last edited by Crinkle; 06-18-2010 at 08:25 AM.
    More fucked up than a cricket in a hubcap

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    is Gorges
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    4,109
    That was funny.

  3. #3
    gunit130 Guest
    I drove about half way up the canyon to White Ranch last night, but had to turn around because I was going to run out of gas. Fuck, wish I would have seen this WWE Wrestler you're talking about.

    What car was the dude driving?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
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    Three-O-Three
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    Its amazing you only saw one of those douchebags when you were riding after work.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Trouserville
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    "sorry, I got his wheel and I'm not letting go".

    Jesus christ...........who actually says shlt like this out loud?
    Besides the comet that killed the dinosaurs nothing has destroyed a species faster than entitled white people.-ajp

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    between here and there
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    gunit, ride it from the bottom, its only 1 mile back of 93. It takes almost just as long to ride to the top as it does to drive. I have no idea what car he drove or why that is relevant.
    More fucked up than a cricket in a hubcap

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    retired
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    12,475
    Quote Originally Posted by kidwoo View Post
    Jesus christ...........who actually says shlt like this out loud?
    every single xc rider on the front range
    go for rob

    www.dpsskis.com

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Nhampshire
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    Quote Originally Posted by marshalolson View Post
    every single xc rider on the front range
    (((Vibes)))

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    CB
    Posts
    826
    That's some good stuff Crinkle.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    North Vancouver
    Posts
    6,182
    Too funny.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Utah, for now
    Posts
    1,821
    That reads like my life story. I like the phrase "play through", I'm going to use that.
    "People blame me because these water mains break, but I ask you, if the
    water mains didn't break, would it be my responsibility to fix them then?
    WOULD IT!?!"
    - M. Barry,
    Mayor of Washington, DC

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Uber Alles California
    Posts
    3,752
    thats funny. I was riding over the Golden Gate one day on my MTB and a roadie with a Webcor Jersey flew past me. I hate Webcor so I stood up and mashed on the peddles. I was on his ass and trying really hard but every time he looked back I let go of the bars and looked around like I was sight seeing.


    Spandex just brings out the worst in me
    Hello darkness my old friend

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    SLC
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    6,239
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Altagirl View Post
    That reads like my life story. I like the phrase "play through", I'm going to use that.
    Yeah, that's from a sport called golf Craig
    I'm so hardcore, I'm gnarcore.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Golden CO
    Posts
    2,340
    dude, i can't believe you just didn't say hi to me... that is all i wanted.

    just a simple hello...
    smile when you are going down, it looks more graceful
    dobish.blogspot.com Dynafit & O1 Adapter or AXL/2nd Ski Kit Sandwich Blog

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Posts
    6,006
    you guys see other people when you ride your bike?...wierd

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Just outside the bubble
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    1,748
    Pretty funny!
    Have fun or get hurt bad. "MFT" A.K.A. Dr. Doom

    There are but three true sports--bullfighting, mountain climbing, and motor-racing. The rest are merely games. "Ernest Hemingway"

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    8,203
    I've never understood how spandex applies to mountain biking.

    Nor have I understood the phenomena of strangers trying to compete with you on the trails like it's some sort of race.

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
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    Three-O-Three
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    What Crinkle isn't telling us here is that he was wearing a spandex team outfit too.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    between here and there
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    6,246
    yeah, we can't all have it as good as Foggy.

    For some reason this dude was in a full road kit, not sure what a mountain spandex kit looks like compared to road kit, the sponsors?

    Dobish, his bike was entirely too nice to let me think it was you.

    Apparently Iscariot doesn't have douchebags where he lives and offers "mouth hugs" to everyone he meets on the trail.

    and yes.... smokan, he just felt a rivalry to my awesome team kit....yuck. I wear my mtn shorts for road rides, i can't stand spandex. Did you guys make it out there thurs?
    More fucked up than a cricket in a hubcap

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    PNWET
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    3,644
    Sounds like NASCAR.

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Three-O-Three
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    ^^^ Nope, I rode in South Boulder instead at lunchtime. I'm up for an after-work ride here and there though.

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    SE Alaska
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    Sometimes on my commute to work on my shitty, heavy, ugly bike with my geeky pack on, headlight, tail light, radio on the handlebars: I catch up to "kit" wearing roadies. It's funny as hell. They hear music behind them, then see this geeky/hairy legged mountain bike commuter chasing them down. Soon after they see me gaining, they typically shift, stand, pedal hard, and try to get away.

    It's hilarious every time.

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Stowe
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    4,451
    Quote Originally Posted by shredgnar View Post
    I've never understood how spandex applies to mountain biking.

    Nor have I understood the phenomena of strangers trying to compete with you on the trails like it's some sort of race.
    it cooler and more comfortable, also easier to hose off mud.

    I stopped caring about looks along time ago as I am ugly as sin, and really only worry about riding my bike.

    nice to pass ya crinkly!

  24. #24
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    Sep 2005
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    Stowe
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crinkle View Post
    yeah, we can't all have it as good as Foggy.

    For some reason this dude was in a full road kit, not sure what a mountain spandex kit looks like compared to road kit, the sponsors?

    Dobish, his bike was entirely too nice to let me think it was you.

    Apparently Iscariot doesn't have douchebags where he lives and offers "mouth hugs" to everyone he meets on the trail.

    and yes.... smokan, he just felt a rivalry to my awesome team kit....yuck. I wear my mtn shorts for road rides, i can't stand spandex. Did you guys make it out there thurs?
    so playing devils advocate but why cant you stand it? afraid of rednecks.

    I use to be like everyone else here, Ill never wear spandex but really its lighter, cooler and MUCH more comfortable than any baggie could ever hope to be. Heck when I wear shorts to not look like some racer douch on group rides I still wear my road shorts underneath because they actually dont hurt my taint. Unlike every baggy I have ever tried out there.

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    The greatest N. New Mexico resort in Colorado
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    1,157
    Quote Originally Posted by shredgnar View Post
    I've never understood the phenomena of strangers trying to compete with you on the trails like it's some sort of race.
    Just last week I had two separate guys, miles apart, on the same ride pick up and start mashing the pedal when I caught up to them. I could care less if you're faster than me, pretty much every one is. But good god, carrying on for more than a mile when there's plenty of space to just scoot over and let someone slide by?

    If I don't pass someone for the whole ride, I'm stoked. But if someone's on my ass, I'm gonna get out of their way at the first spot that works.

    Maybe spandex squeezes more testosterone out of your juevos causing ridiculous competitiveness.

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